How did you know your young child was autistic

[ByLoudSeal]

i know autism is a spectrum so I want to know how you knew, what the signs were when they were a baby/young child/child, the impact on their life and what led to their diagnoses TIA

all my dc are autistic and all very different in how they present with it.

One was a very very ‘good’ baby. Utterly content and never cried , I thought I was so lucky! She also started talking extremely early, not just copying but understanding and having conversations at a very young age. Being near other children she would vomit a lot, we thought the worst at first that she was really ill but then realised it was only when she was near other babies / toddlers / children and she would only talk to adults !
She excelled academically but socially just couldn’t cope. Diagnosed age 10.

Ds started smiling at me socially at 2 weeks which was lovely but I thought he was just early to respond to us , he wasn’t sleepy either like other newborns. He was fidgety but didn’t walk till very late and would twirl his arms and hands and fingers around in a very odd way. He had severe feeding issues, aversions to so many textures and was very underweight. Lined up all his toys and was petrified of so many things. Diagnosed age 4.

little dd is by far the most severely affected. Always screaming and very delayed in all areas. Kept falling asleep (we thought she had narcolepsy) but it was a reaction to overstimulation . Would have seizure like reactions to new people or environments she shakes from head to foot.

Ds2 wasn't diagnosed till he was thirteen. They thought he might be autistic at two but his deafness was missed so that overrode it. He is 28 now, flaps, stims, and has food problems.

DS1 did everything in the wrong order. We laughed and said he hadn’t read the baby book. After all he did do it all eventually (apart from sleep, he never does that). Diagnosed (after a first attempt aged 4) at 8.

We said this too !!! I had read up on things and none of my dc did anything in the ‘normal’ timeframes either far too early or far too late !!!

he wasn't diagnosed til later, and we had other stuff diagnosed first. He also has Dyspraxia and ADHD.

As a baby he had what we thought was awful colic, and all that would soothe it was to swaddle him, and sit in the dark, and silence, and rock him. Looking back now, it was quite clearly sensory overload.

He self weaned and developed an eating disorder. He didn't speak until he was 3.5 just babbled. Didn't potty train until nearly 6.

He didn't play with other kids, couldn't understand sharing, loathed noise, getting wet (still does) bright lights, didn't sleep through, EVER (still doesn't, and he's 17). He was a sensory seeker, so would constantly chew his clothes, he also picked at them, he had obsessions over certain books and TV shows.

Obsessed with wires - couldn’t leave them alone!

Flapped his hands a lot when frustrated. Aversion to all fruit and veg (texture thing).

Upset by hand dryers and the sound of sellotape being pulled off the roll.
He’s high functioning and has few issues now other than socially. He’s gradually overcome the sensory issues with perseverance.

Because every professionals meeting we had after 18 months flagged it as a possibility (in one case, in the other not till he was in school and we could properly compare)

Tiptoe walking, flapping, screeching, sensory seeking, speech delay and eventually learning through song phrases not words.

What surprised us really is how those very classically autistic behaviours fit in to a completely magnificent perfect little girl.

DD1 was very high needs. I began to think ASD when she was 2 years old. Looking back, it was obvious from day 1.

My niece is diagnosed. They were abroad until she was 18 months but I saw her fairly regularly from that point onwards. She was a very very quiet toddler, drifted around the room almost silently and never sought attention/eye contact. She didn’t smile much, never laughed/giggled, and didn’t play with toys in the way they were intended. She would instead pick up small items in the room and put them all in one place, before moving them to another place, and so on. She’s now 9, has selective mutism, very high anxiety, struggles socially and doesn’t ‘get’ other people - she doesn’t have friends and prefers to be alone or with her parents.

Unfortunately her parents way of dealing with it was to ignore the signs and insist she’s ‘just shy like most little girls’, until her school intervened and basically forced them to have her assessed. They’re still not on board with the diagnosis and as such she’s made little progress as they won’t do anything to help her develop, they just hide her away from the world and avoid anything that she might find challenging.

Didn't realise until she was 6 but looking back the signs were there.
DD was a very clingy baby, refused to sleep unless on me ( literally, I did safe Co-sleeping and as soon as she could she'd pull herself on top of me).
Hated almost all toddler groups, would cry during the singing at the end of play and stay.
So strong willed, liked to boss all the other children around. Nursery just put it down to her being autumn born and one of the oldest.

Oh, and he also had very obvious Echolalia. When he did learn to speak, he would monologue, or repeats words/sounds continuously for DAYS.

I knew all along. Was certain by 18 months.

I knew something was different day 2, voiced it the next week, spent months raising it to my GP. At 18 months referred to paediatrician, at 3y assessed but inconclusive, finally dx at 10 after much pushing. Dc will never live independently and needs 1:1 support 24/7.

My boy was also a very good baby. I could leave him sat on the mat by himself, no toys, utterly content. He was not interested in me whatsoever really. I'd call him and he simply didn't give af. He wouldn't hold food. I tried baby led and he simply hated touching anything. He hated being dirty. The few words he had at 13 months have gone (he's 4.5). I'd give anything to hear him say "mumma" again. I suspected at 4 months. Was convinced at 13 months but pushed it back until 2 years when I raised with nursery and they agreed. HV referred me and the first meeting with community paeds said I could apply for DLA and say he is autistic. He was 2.5 years. He was formally diagnosed after a year on the pathway at 3.5 years. He's so clearly autistic people would ask me.

DD walked at 12 months and talked fairly early but was having head banging full blown tantrums from 10mo. She would not cooperate with nappy changes or clothes changes, I thought it was fairly normal until I was around more other children her age. She hated other children interfering with what she was playing with and got very upset and possessive. In fact, didn't seek much input from me with play, I'd sit on the sofa and she'd play on the floor without wanting much engagement. DD2 was a bit of a shock. She was diagnosed at 8.

My son loved glasses cases and mugs when he was a baby. The first things he could hold, and nothing else felt right to him. I remember having to open and close a glasses case fifty times and if I stopped he'd prompt me to continue. I guess that was my first clue. He also thrashed his legs up and down. I hadn't seen any other baby do that.

My son is recently diagnosed at age 11. He was diagnosed with dyspraxia and spd first.

He was very anxious about being away from us . And when I say left, he wouldn't even be in a different room to us in the house. He was, and still can be difficult getting into school. He chewed everything, clothes, pens, toys, fingernails etc.
He is very academic but didn't seem to know what was going on. Like we would go to a party and they would be giving instructions for whatever activity it was and he would just be sitting there while all other kids were doing whatever.

He was and still is interested in history to a ridiculous level. I remember taking him to a soft play with a friend and he was much more interested in sitting reading about the Greek horse of Troy at reception age. And at a similar age having a friend over and asking them if they wanted to learn about native Americans. Their reply was "I'd rather play mummies and daddies".

He also liked a routine and got very upset if it varied. If there was a change in timetable at school that would upset him, or a change of seating plan. He just couldn't cope.

Really there was loads of signs.

Oh and he never would keep
Clothes on. Every chance he got he would take them off. He still now will prefer to just wear pants in the house. We had to cut labels off his clothes, he will never wear a coat, gloves, hat etc.

Not my child but my younger sister. My parents knew because she didn’t react to their speaking to her. They would call her name and she wouldn’t react. Not like deliberately ignoring them just caught up in her own world and didn’t register hearing them. This became apparent when she was 18 months roughly.

Initially they thought she was deaf but the doctor sent her for an autism assessment and she was diagnosed before 2.

DD (diagnosed age 8) was a very happy and content baby. Slept well , ate fine, rarely cried. As a toddler she never had a tantrum, would happily play for hours on her own- eventually I began to think it was a bit odd and now I know it was because she was so absorbed in her own world. She had odd and ritualistic ways of playing- lining up toys, rolling and unrolling bits of cloth, filling up and emptying things, tying up teddies with tape and bungee cords. Her speech was quite delayed but for ages she would babble that sounded like English but made no sense. When she learned to talk it was non stop monologues and fixations on certain topics - it would drive us mad on car trips. She has a very advanced vocabulary and adopts funny ways of speaking or turns of phrase and repeats words and syllables. Luckily though she is very empathetic and sweet natured so she has friends although other kids sometimes find her a bit strange.

Also after age 2 she would only wear a very narrow range of clothes- all very loose and they had to be blue!

DC 1 - early signs (from birth), went rigid when you held him,
only wanted to be held rugby ball style facing outward at all times,
no eye contact,
didn't respond to name,
or look at you when you were smiling and waving at them but would sometimes randomly smile or giggle for "no reason",
hyper focussed/staring at lights and anything that spins
could only settle in a certain way (clutching muslin, hand under chin)
"specific" dummies/muslins that were "acceptable", inconsolable if given a different muslin/dummy,
hysterical around water (ie baths) and anytime we needed to do a clothes change.

toddler/up to school age signs - later in starting to speak than other children, sleep problems,
obsessed with numbers,
obsessed with lining things up,
prefers to play/eat alone,
stammers,
handleads,
tiptoes slowly into rooms then runs out once realises other people are there (i.e when visiting nanny/aunty's house)
ignores wider family/friends, rolls eyes at them or turns away when they try to talk
can't cope with change in routine,
very blunt "I don't actually love you mummy. I love nanny much more than you.", very antisocial outside of parents and siblings,
struggles with sharing,
not potty trained at almost 4,
has "safe" foods,
meltdowns when going to other people's houses/parties,
refusing to leave the car,
can't cope with haircuts,
struggles with emotional intelligence but very advanced in picking up maths and science and using advanced vocab,
soft toys are "real" have personalities and feelings and need lined up,
still struggles with eye contact,
selectively mute,
rapid blinking (stimming?),
hand flapping,
thinks no one can see them if they close their eyes,
hates nursery and copes with it by ignoring other children and declaring them less intelligent and boring,
beyond ready academically for school but nowhere near ready emotionally/psychologically

DC 2 - baby/ (currently 18 months) -

has never slept. Ever. Awake day and night - eyes wide open.
Velcro baby. Needs to be held all the time.
Hand and leg twirls constantly, has never been able to keep still since early on in pregnancy!
However, very late hitting milestones, sitting and crawling late,
doesn't stand much unaided/furniture surf,
not showing any attempt at walking,
rocks when distressed,
babbles with only occasional word "dada/mama/baba", "spoon", no more than one word at a time,
waves hello/bye but doesn't say hello,
points at milk and gets frustrated but if we say "do you want your MILK? MILK?" won't attempt to say milk back or even "m" just keeps pointing and gets distraught so we have to give up quickly,
when we try to get them to stand they won't put foot flat, always goes on tiptoes, smiley but never with teeth,
rarely cried but when upset goes rigid and closes eyes and fists and shakes, play with toys involves staring closely and focussing on it or hand twirling with it/putting it in mouth still,
not able to figure toys out the way older siblings (NT and ND) did from young, doesn't "explore" much,
extremely placid,
no other way to describe this but when really happy (usually food related lol) does the little "autistic" joy dance wiggling her bum and shaking her hands and pouting that I (ND) do too!

DP and I VERY late diagnosed ND, DC1 diagnosed privately aged 3 when stammer started but NHS GP also referred to SLT for speech delay and both SLT and Nursery said "most likely Autistic but can't officially diagnose or do anything until around 5/started school and seen how they cope".

DC2 not diagnosed but private Psych commented at DC1 appointment that they saw some signs of either ADHD or Autism and to think about an assessment in a couple of years or seek help sooner if the physical delays continue. I am pretty worried about DC 2 but GP says they are too young to present as a worry at present and will probably be walking and talking by 2. I'm not convinced.

Are high functioning autistic parents more likely to have lower functioning autistic children?

Looking back, with the benefit if hindsight, there were many signs from Day 1.
But I first suspected DS was autistic because at 18 months he lost all his words. He had a handful of words at about 14 months - the usual mama, dada, cat, milk, etc and then nothing. He became completely non-verbal, just making grunting noises. He then made no attempts to speak for over a year - this was with speech therapy after hearing loss had been ruled out.

His speech did catch up before he started school, but he struggles to actually use his speech even though he has a good vocabulary.