Feeling a bit flat on my birthday

[Funkyslippers]

I don't know why I'm feeling like this but I'm sitting in a coffee shop on my own on my birthday. I've had lots of messages from Facebook friends, spoke to dd1 on the phone, had a few nice things from OH & DD2. However nobody on the work group chat has said anything even though they know it's my birthday (they went ott with wishes for other people recently). Yesterday at work i even heard them all start to sing "happy birthday" and i thought it was for me but then they brought out a card signed by everyone and handed it to a girl i work with. Dd2 wanted to bring her friend shopping with us today so I agreed, then they left me.

Sorry maybe I've been expecting too much. I'm 51 now so I guess I need to realise it's just another day. Maybe I'll be better tomorrow 😔

Happy Birthday! 🎂 it’s not just another day, it’s your day!

So sorry, it sucks when no one bothers. The younger ones you can forgive a little, colleagues who treat you differently to other staff members are harder to forgive though.

I had a similar birthday this year, my first one as a widow. Some close friends didn’t even send a message of birthday wishes on our group chat and still haven’t acknowledged I had a birthday. I’m trying not to be bothered, but it does hurt.

I hope you at least get a meal cooked for you and some cake later.

Happy Birthday, @Funkyslippers. Go and do something that feels wonderful for yourself, that doesn't depend on anyone else to be worth doing/fun/interesting/pleasurable.

Thank you both. Yeah I just feel like a bit of a saddo wandering round on my own! We're going out for a meal later but I'm not even that bothered about that. Maybe I'm missing dd1 a bit.

On the plus side I had a lovely message from 2 guys I know through work who said how lovely I am

But you'll be with other people later. Value your own company, all 51 years of being your valuable self, by doing something nice, that is only for you, now. 💐💐

l am sorry that you’re having a bit of a rubbish birthday (been there many times) and especially hurtful when you know work colleagues have celebrated others - no magic words to lift your mood except to say perhaps think about a plan to treat yourself - new hair/colour - nails - outfit - invite a good friend to lunch to celebrate it - believe you’re worth celebrating - biggest birthday hug

Happy B to you op. Sometimes I feel like you too but Im right after xmas its barely acknowledged by friends at times. Enjoy your day

Happy Birthday. 🎂 I've had a few rubbish birthdays in my time. I'm 62 now and retired so my expectations are low. Just enjoy your family and be glad you made it through another year.😅

Happy Birthday!

Literally no one knows when my birthday is except DH/DC/parents, and a friend I met aged 11 (we are now 46). Apart from one DC we don't really celebrate birthdays by choice.

I find as PP said you are better off with low expectations of these things. Hollywood and books and occasionally mumsnet teem with visions of perfect birthdays.

I think yours sounds great really. Young people don't want to hang around with their mums at the shops. You've been given presents (presumably without having to prompt the givers), you are going out for dinner. Sounds like a lovely start and end to the day!

Thank you all. At the end of the day I had lovely messages from the people who matter. And I made it another year. I'm fit & healthy and lucky in many ways

I'm now enjoying a nice glass of prosecco 😊

I'm sorry that people ignored your first birthday as a widow. People often don't know what to say (they might have found it strange to say happy birthday) so say nothing at all. I'd much rather people say something. I've been through bereavements but I'm a big girl. I can take it!

Happy birthday 🎂

With some people, and in some situations, you really need to self promote if you want a fuss for your birthday.

I know people at work who will somehow mention their birthday is coming up everyday in the weeks leading up to it. It's no surprise that they then get quite a fuss made. My own friends also arrange a dinner or party themselves and we come bearing gifts.

Also, I'm quite an introvert and never make a fuss of my birthday. Consequently, I used yo not have much fuss made at work. We then had a system change where the person whose birthday fell before yours would be responsible for getting you a card, small gift and maybe a cake. We'll, there's a massive extrovert whose birthday is before mine, so I got balloons, a card jam packed with messages, a lovely cake, a gift, and everyone gathered round to sing me happy birthday (much to my embarrassment but also appreciation). She was the sole driver in this, I'm sure everyone else didn't care very much, but she rallied everyone.

There may be a reason why your colleague got a fuss and not you. Did you self promote (e.g. subtly remind others its your birthday?)

In any case, the people that matter you cared. Next year, throw yourself a party or organise a meal. Don't wait for others to celebrate you- celebrate yourself.

Happy Birthday!😁🎉🎉🎉🎁🎂

🎉🎂🍾🥂
Happy Birthday, @Funkyslippers 🎈

Happy birthday 🎂

birthdays are a bit crap when you get older I find xxx

I always feel flat on my birthday and I’m never sure why as generally I’m very content with my life (not to sound smug- my health is a shit show but I’m blessed in other ways).

I now try to be on holiday for it so it’s just another day in a nice trip. I find it easier.

Happy birthday.

It doesn’t sound rubbish to me, presents, cards, birthday messages, a birthday phone call, a meal out and people to share it with you plus a weekend birthday.

I am assuming if you wanted to do a bit more/something a bit different during the day you’d have arranged it. Maybe bear this in mind for next year.

I hope you have a lovely meal out.

Happy Birthday!

Try to remember that colleagues aren't important - they aren't friends, they are just people you see regularly on account of you all happening to work in the same place. If they don't make much effort for you, it means that you are off the hook for any expectations they may have of you!
The important people are your family and those people you've chosen to have in your life, not those who are just there by accident!

Birthdays can be hard - they force you to assess how your life is going, the bits you are a bit saddened or disappointed by. Everything feels of heightened importance, even little things like dd going off with her friend. Kids do take parents for granted sometimes but these things always feel 'more' on a significant date.

Go and have a nice meal and remember that you are loved and valued by the people who really matter!

I love that. Celebrate yourself!

I purposely haven't told anybody in work when my birthday is as I hate fuss. Been working there 5 years. I heard someone say that I haven't had my big birthday yet (40) but I had it a few years ago.

If they didn’t know ok Did you take cakes in they couldn’t miss that otherwise they are not nice people normally I don’t tell anyone but if you have been there a while they should know and are not worth bothering about especially if there are collections regularly Don’t contribute to next birthday whip round. I had the best present from a temp job and I had not said a word