how would you organise seeing family/what would you do expect?

[TARNSSA]

Who travels, how often, what would you expect, and what works better in terms of organisation?
To meet outside for coffee/walk (can't meet at family's house or the mum's house either).

Mum solo (husband works abroad) of 2-year-old toddler and 2 month old baby, doesn't drive.
Family lives 1h30 mins away including 1 hour by train.
Family have cars and drive, no children.

What's the most fair thing and the most practical? thank you

I think the fair thing would be to meet somewhere that’s easy for both families to get to. Given that one party doesn’t drive then somewhere that the train goes through or too would be best. Or the Mum could get the train down to Family and spend a couple of days quality time there instead.

Do you actually want to see your family? I'm assuming you're the mum of two small kids. To be honest, I'd expect them to come to me until baby is 4 months at least and probably more like 6/7 months and meet them for coffee/walk close to you

I do, but they want me to come down at least once or twice a week and I find it too much

Why can’t you go to each other’s houses?

I would expect 50/50, but the mum needs to learn to drive especially if husband away a lot.

thank you!

Unfortunately can't stay overnight or even go inside their house and vice versa

thank you

Why can’t you go inside each others houses?

why can't they go in your house?

Their desires are not your obligations. As I've said in other threads, I'd like a foot massage from George Clooney but he's not going to oblige. Not a hope I'd be bringing a tiny baby and a toddler anywhere on my own, never mind a three hour round trip with the faff of public transport and whatever amount of time you spend socializing. Not a hope. Unless it was to visit a dying family member and even then I'd expect a lift tbh

And you can't even go into their house? Why on earth not? Why can't they go into your home?

Are you the mum of the 2 small kids or are you the "family" (grandparent?)

Why can't anyone go inside anyone else's house?

I would expect the grandparents to do the majority of the travelling while the dc are so small and the mum would have to take both kids by train. If the grandparents are doing this multiple times a week and complaining about doing all the travelling, I would suggest they do it less frequently!

How often do you want to see them?