Rude neighbour

[Wotsyourprobthen]

I live in a ground floor flat with one upstairs neighbour. Large garden split in half and they have an external staircase that crosses over my garden.

I was up for making friends with them when I first moved in as it's just me and DC after a very difficult separation. They are a young couple with a toddler. Anyway any fantasies I had of neighbourly chats, borrowing sugar or having light refreshments were soon shattered as the couple are rude and sneery, and downright shit neighbours as they allow their toddler to run back and forth, jump up and down screaming and bellowing. There have been other issues they have caused to my property (being directly below them) that they've then denied or been incredulous about. I've had to go to their landlord to resolve issues due to shared costs and management.

This morning I was hanging out the washing and it must have been their DM/DMIL stepped out on their stairs, took one look at me and sneered then went inside. Literally looked down her nose at me. No hello, or nothing. I was a bit shocked, never felt quite so unwelcome in my own garden! I just comforted myself by singing loudly and continuing hanging up my laundry. I wanted to shout out "rude!" but refrained.

How am I supposed to react to neighbours like this? Your pettiest answers please😉

I think I’d plant some bulbs in the lawn spelling ‘fuck off’

If she was above you how could she not look down on you? I think lots of people don’t talk to you unless they are sure you want to when you are going about your life in your back garden to give you some peace? I’m probably the other end of the spectrum to you as I hate people talking to my in my garden.

Proudly owe you, your lovely safe flat for you and your child, a nice outside garden. Be aloof but friendly too! Be in your garden hanging out washing, haveing a coffee/ wine owe it.

Sneered ? At you?

Not just her normal resting face? Not just Not liking the weather ? Not you misinterpretating her friendly smile ?

Have a barbecue under their stairs
Hold a nude sunbathing competition
Have half an interesting conversation 🤔 then wander off
Hire someone to dress like death and stand in your garden

Kill with kindness. Everytime you see them, give them a huge smile, greet them and mention the weather. There is nothing more annoying to rude people than someone who refuses to get upset.

Thanks for the suggestions.

@DustyLee123 particularly like your bulbs suggestion😁🌷

@Theunamedcat they often have BBQs in their garden at the slightest hint of sun. Usually meaning I have to make a mad dash for my washing to be brought in.

Nope it was definitely a raised upper lip sneer not a smile unless she had some facial weakness or neurological condition (no offence to those that do). But thanks I doubt myself all the time so you've given me more self doubt, cheers.🤔

They don’t like you or want to be friends with you, for whatever reason.

Can’t you just ignore?

What were the issues? If there has been previous conflict with the landlord getting involved, they're probably still annoyed about it and unlikely to suddenly want to be friendly regardless of whether they're in the wrong or not. You'll just have to accept it and either ignore or take the moral high ground and just be pleasant in the face of their rudeness. It's very hard to keep being arsey with someone who just responds with a smile.

I'm not really sure what your issue is. They have a toddler who - shock, horror - runs about, and they don't want to be besties. Lots of neighbours have very separate lives from each other - nothing more than the odd hello if putting the bins out at the same time.

If you've already reported them to their land lord they're hardly going to be best buddies.

Just ignore them!

Are you sure the neighbour wasn't just looking out to see where the loud singing was from?

Sneering children playing! For goodness sake you sound completely paranoid.You are determined not to get on with your neighbours. Your life must be very complicated if you worry over mundane things like this.

They're unlikely to want to be friendly if you've made complaints about them! I'd just ignore the snidey looks or smile and say morning! There's not much else you can do!

Headphones and sunglasses every time you go to the garden.

Smile and wave exuberantly when you see them. Every. Single. Time.

Don't rise to the bait, but it looks like you are clever enough not to do that.

It is nothing that you are doing, just that sometimes people act normally for them, but it comes across as batshit to others.

What were the issues they caused and were they deliberate or accidental? Could be either they are pissed off with you because you've reported them to the landlord or she may be the type of person who was waiting for you to speak first and as you didn't she gave you 'the look'. You are always going to get noise too if you have a toddler living above you, they are not the quietist of people and they do have lots of energy to burn, remember when your dc was that age? They can't keep them velcroed to the wall to stop them from running around 🤷‍♀️

You sound exhausting.

Get ur bikini on and lie out 😉😂 ur garden too!

You’ve complained about them so they’re hardly going to want to be best buddies. And the way you’ve reacted on here to posts suggests you’re hard work. Just ignore them and stop expecting too much.

You have a chip on your shoulder.

They want to keep themselves aloof from being over familiar with you, perhaps they don't like the look of you for whatever reason or they've had a bad experience with a neighbour before.

I expect the visiting older woman was simply startled at seeing you down below and felt awkward, so she went back inside.

Yeah I was thinking that. I mean you complained about them, clearly take issue with their small child playing and running round and then for some reason find it comforting to sing loudly .

It’s a difficult one to comment on without more detail about what you went to their landlord about.
From the limited information, it sounds like you’re annoyed by a toddler behaving as a toddler. The other issues you’d need to divulge otherwise it sounds like they rightly wouldn’t want to be chummy with you.
if you’re now looking for petty ways to make their lives harder then that’s a nope from me.