DP walking out without saying goodbye

[guineapigmother]

Want to gauge whether IABU without going to that forum for gutting.

I have 2 rescued pet guinea pigs, obtained about 18 months ago, which DP didn't agree to (as we were not at the time completely committed). I have been with DP for 2 years, living together about 10 months. We have 2 cats also. I can't drive, having lived in London all my life, but he does. I am learning now. Early 30s.

We got back from holiday a few days ago, and today went to pick up the guinea pigs from their pet hotel. DP owns a car and drove me (30s mins vs 90 mins on PT/80 quid return Uber).

After getting home, and normal conversations otherwise, he walked past me in the hallway without a word or looking at me and left for work. He usually WfH so I didn't know he'd actually gone until he didn't turn up after a few hours.

He's come back, and after I said I was a bit upset he walked out without saying goodbye/what he was doing, said it was my fault because I hadn't thanked him for driving me to collect the guinea pigs. He's not talking to me now.

I had spent several hours cleaning our home while he was out the previous night, and arranged and paid for cat sitters, hadn't received a thanks and didn't really care. But perhaps it's different as the guinea pigs are not 'his'.

I am aware this is super petty so please don't go too hard on this but am I being unreasonable?

30 mins both ways, or each way? Tbh I'd probably thank my partner in either scenario- especially if I'd have needed to get expensive and long winded public transport otherwise!

However I think if you've cleaned the place when he was off on jollies / sorted the cats out, he should equally thank you for that!

I can't stand someone who sulks though, if he's raised the issue and told you why - why the need for the silent treatment + creating an atmosphere.

He's the petty one

Write a list of the things since coming home he hasn't thanked you for as you write here.

Just to point out what a childish ungrateful knob he is being.

Ask him to discuss which household jobs you should thank each other for every time each of you do them so these misunderstandings don't occur in the future

Make sure you have equal items to be thanked for on this petty list

Perhaps seeing it written down will help cement in his mind his behaviour.

Also clarify that if either of you are not thanked you can flounce out without a word or explanation for however long you like.

What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

I might have said thank you if he'd stuck around for more than one minute. In previous relationships, I haven't felt a need to thank/be thanked, and I'm finding this a bit disconcerting. As @frozendaisy said, should I keep a list so I'm not caught out??

Each way, I told him the dates before the holiday and then extended the pig holiday because the latter date no longer suited him on the way home. So it is a long drive.

To be honest for me it would be a case of love me, love my guinea pigs. He obviously resents them but he didn't want them and now has to be involved in the responsibility for them so probably a bit more gratitude might have been appropriate in the circumstances.

I misinterpreted the title at first and thought he'd actually left you, as in forever.

He should be happy to do something nice you both need to talk.