What would you make of this? School dad

[SpicyMargz]

I seem to bump into the same dad from my kids school all the time, and he's gotten very chatty and friendly towards me. It's never been flirty just very friendly and I thought it was sort of built rapport from happening to bump into him so frequently. Except the friendlier he's gotten when alone has made it all the more obvious how he completely blanks my existence when he's with his wife. If he drives past me alone he waves, he drives past with her he looks dead forwards and doesn't so much as smile, if he's alone and is ahead he will hang back so we walk to/from the school chatting but if he's with his wife we can be literally walking up the path almost next to each other and he won't look in my direction whatsoever. It's made me not want to acknowledge him when he is alone! It's such an odd thing to do, isn't it?!

I know I would usually chat less to my friends if my DH was with me at school pick ups.

It's more the way he won't even look in my general direction when with her, dead straight ahead, same when drives past. It's just so obvious and odd. I thought nothing of how friendly he was, I'm happily married and would wave in the car or smile/say hi/make small talk whether alone or with my husband, it just feels weird now because of how obvious it is that he does it, if that makes sense?

I have mums that would hang on and chat if I saw them, but wouldn't bother if they were with their DH.
Maybe his partner is unreasonably jealous so goes mad if he chats to or looks at other women.
Maybe he's cheated on her, so he is "proving" he won't do it again by never looking at another woman (), well when he's with her at least.

If it bothers you cut the conversation but if I enjoyed chatting with him, it wouldn't really bother me.

Fair enough, maybe I'm being too harsh. It just screamed red flag to me!

The guy is under the thumb. Happy wife happy life!

You’re probably not being too harsh. You are the one in these interactions, not any of us. I do think it’s odd that he essentially ignores you when his wife is there. Perhaps he has form for cheating.

That is strange! My thoughts would be that his partner is excessively jealous. Whatever about smiling conversations, he feels he can't even say just say hello or wave. That's actually quite disturbing. I wonder next time he is chatty could you question it, like Oh I saw you the other day and you mustn't have seen me...

Not that it should be relevant, but are you very attractive?

I don't think this is odd at all.

Unpleasant for you to be on the receiving end, but a lot more people than you would think are with very jealous partners, who any mention of any interaction with the opposite sex (generalising a bit, but in most cases) will make them flip.

Not at all a nice way to live, but unfortunately it's normal for a lot of people these days.

I wouldn't think anything but either his partner is a jealous person or questions him or he just doesn't want to seem overly friendly in front of his partner. Either way I lt wouldn't put me off being friendly as your just another parent at the school.

I don't know why but I've had this exact thing happen to me with male dads/ friends!

Also happily married with DH

I’m surprised so many people think the wife is the problem here. My first thought is that he’s got cheating on his mind and he doesn’t her to have the slightest inkling about it. Cheaters are sneaky, especially when they’ve been caught before.

I am not suggesting that you would entertain him OP.

My guess would be that he wants to sleep with you and doesn't want his wife to know 😂

I think that he fancies you. He behaves as he does so his wife doesn’t realise.. simply that !

What kind of red flag? What do you think is going on?

Personally I think for him to make a point of waiting for me, being very chatty with lots of smiling and eye contact when he is alone and staring straight ahead, refusing to even look in my general direction or acknowledge my existence at all when with his wife makes the way he is when he isn't with his wife feel seedy, and like by going along with it I'm crossing a line with a married man really?! I'm not just saying he's less chatty when with her, I'm saying completely blanking like I'm not even there, it's just really odd and feels inappropriate.

Yeh that’s pretty weird. I’d start blanking him every time.