Going into debt every month just to make ends meet - I don’t know what to do

[SilverliningHunter]

I’m a single parent to two DC and I only qualify for child benefit.

Their DF is abusive and it cost me thousands in legal costs in family court so I’m paying them off every month and a car loan for four more years and I’ve just been told it needs a new engine. I work full time and I have a side job, I’m exhausted. And as the thread title says, I am going into debt every month just paying all the bills that need to be paid, never mind the extras like broken car/school trips etc.

I have a massive mortgage that I didn’t fix so that has increased by £500 a month and I am at my wit’s end. I’ve been applying for new jobs but there’s very few in my area that pay more than I’m already on and that I’d be qualified for.

The only thing I can think to do is to sell the house, clear the debt with the equity and rent. Rent is the same price if not more than my mortgage but the benefit would be char I’d clear the debts so wouldn’t feel like I’m drowning all the time.

Has anyone done similar? I can’t sleep for worry.

Their DF does pay child maintenance but it is very low.

Your poor thing, that sounds terrible for you. Is there any chance you could extend your mortgage to lessen your monthly payments? I'd try to hang on to your house if you can. Could you take day to go through everything, bills, debts etc and try to rearrange them so you pay less each month, things like a cheaper phone contract etc?

Unmumsnetty hugs..
One bit of advice... go and talk to the bank about your mortgage before you fall into arrears... they may be able to help with a fix or a temporary interest only period

Can you get a payment holiday on the mortgage if you've got some equity. Or go to interest only for a while? They may work with you if you say you are struggling to pay. Ask the court to reduce payments. Talk to stepchange

https://www.stepchange.org/how-we-help/debt-counselling.aspx

they advise and possibly get some of your payments reduced.

Could you take a lodger?

Can you do the government mortgage charter scheme? It switches you to interest only on your mortgage for 6 months and has mo impact on your credit rating.. Will buy you some time. Obviously payments do go up at the end. There is an online calculator on MSE to work it all out. If extending your mortgage term temporarily also an option (both can be done at same time).

Charter scheme was introduced by government to help during covid.

Thanks for the replies. I do pay the mortgage every month and all bills and I currently move my debt between interest free credit cards but that can’t last and I don’t see how that’ll ever end.

Speak to mortgage co - payment holiday, interest only, extended mortgage, fixed rate. See what they can do

Ut

My mortgage term is already 29 years which takes me past retirement age! I could ask about an interest only period though but I think most of my mortgage payment is interest anyway.

We only really eat yellow sticker items and I feel like that is just tinkering about the edges now.

I haven’t heard of the government charter scheme so I’ll look at that now.

You can earn easy money on the side doing print on demand now it won't take off straight away but once it's up and running there's virtually no work required, you create the products in printify or another similar website and sell on Etsy it's all fulfilled by printify and Etsy so all you do is create it and list it . Worth looking into it's a great passive income if you put the time Into it at the start

Phone mortgage lender and ask to go to interest only for 6 months. They cannot refuse you. I think.the BoE will have reduced the base rate by 6 months. Mortgages fixes are reducing ATM. I think.in 6 months you might get one near to 4 percent. If those rates start to appear get a 5 year fix. You can get some fixes that cost nothing to fix into.

I fixed last year for five years because it was going up every month. So I’ve probably fixed for too long when it was at its highest. Not fixing at all at first when I bought exDH out and then fixing for too long = my two big mistakes.

Renting is a big choice. There is also downsizing and moving somewhere cheaper. Hard though.

I'd look at MSE forum and ways of getting debt down. Also there's a good personal finance course by Rebel Finance School.

If you can keep up minimum payments and shift debt it doesn't really matter how long it takes - its interest on debt that is bad. If you can't then step change can help.

Also getting an emergency fund of £1k for emergencies will help with peace of mind.

How much are your car payments? Is it a new car, monthly payment scheme to purchase it?

I'd see if you can negotiate a different payment plan for your debts to reduce your outgoings there. Companies like StepChange may be able to help.

The problem with renting, is your costs will almost certainly only go up. While with a mortgage, when your fix is up it is likely that the interest will go down (obviously not guaranteed) and with renting you never gain any equity.

How are you budgeting? I'm like a stuck record with it, but YNAB has changed my who approach to money and especially money anxiety.

Selling and renting would be an absolute last resort for me, you may never get the stability of an 'owned' home back. Renting gave me horrible anxiety as you can come home one day and have a letter telling you to move in 2 months.

If you can afford your mortgage and the repayments on your credit, I would try to keep the house, personally.

I'm interested in this. Do you do this?

Hugs OP. Have you tried other side hustles like surveys. You can make a couple hundred on Prolific.

We are already in a small property so downsizing isn’t feasible here, moving further away would be fine for me when the kids are older but it would be unrealistic to go as far as needed to get to cheaper prices and still be able to get them to school.

The moving costs would be significant too - new stamp duty etc that after paying off debts I don’t think I’d afford to own again.

Definitely look at debt counselling as above or Citizens' Advice.

Thanks for the suggestions of how to earn extra money but I already have a second income and that plus working full time and parenting takes up every minute. I also need thousands not the odd hundred pound here and there.

I owe £30,000.

How much is your debt and as things are when will you finish repaying?

I’d speak to someone like step change before doing anything drastic like selling up and renting. That’s a long term solution to what may be in the grand scheme of things a short term problem.

Debt is £30,000 and it’ll be about eight years before it is paid off.

The problem is as well that I feel like I run myself ragged just to exist, there’s no joy at all for working so hard - it’s miserable.

Try consolidate debts. Extend mortgage to 35/40 years or interest free period. If your car still has 4 years left surely the car is in warranty for the engine? Can you fix engine and get rid of it, pay off that loan? Buy a cheaper run around or use public transport?

Speak to step change and your mortgage company. Going interest free might give you some breathing space to get a plan in place.

Don't overly worry about the term of your mortgage, in ten or fifteen years you will be in a different position and can reevaluate.

This is poor advice. Etsy is absolutely swamped with millions of POD shops that are all flogging the same thing and none of them are making a penny. If you don’t believe me look on the Etsy forums - there are dozens of posts daily from people saying that they’ve had their POD shop open for months and have not sold a thing. People are being lured into the promise of easy money for doing very little by shysters on TikTok and YouTube and are finding that it’s an utter waste of time. You also need to design items yourself to be able to sell them on Etsy - you can’t just slap some AI art on a mug or a tee shirt. But whichever way you slice it - don’t bother OP. It’s not worth you wasting your time. It’s the same as people publishing journals and notebooks on KDP/amazon. They’re not making a penny.