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Peri, burnout or both?

8 replies

Shitandrun · 10/07/2024 18:00

I am 41 and single parent to dc 7 and 9 one with sen. I'm an only child and parents are long gone so no family help or support. Ex is a weapons grade narc and no help whatsoever.

I am struggling 😫 I work full time in a physically demanding job, rushing from one job to the other. I am constantly exhausted, irritable, aching and recently my mind seems to be slipping. Just today I went to work and left the dog in the back garden. My neighbour called me so I had to go back home and let him in. I then left my phone at my first job, had to turn back after 15 minutes to go get it. Arrived late to second job, client asked me to take the rubbish out. I went outside, straightened the bin, then came back in the house still clutching the rubbish bag. After work I stopped at coop to get something for dinner (cannot focus enough to do a big shop so have been buying day to day) and came out and walked straight past my car and up the street until I remembered where I'd parked.

Every day is like this. I'm rushing around in a fog, half arsing everything and getting frustrated because I'm making things worse. I feel like a shit mum, shit worker, shit housekeeper (house is a tip) and can't seem to get on top of anything.

Dog was absolutely fine by the way! He was only out there 20 minutes but started barking when he heard the car drive off.

OP posts:
DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 10/07/2024 18:00

Bit of both possibly. I'm similar. Going to the GP soon to discuss HRT

PiggieWig · 10/07/2024 18:04

I feel the same OP. I’m 47 and with a mentally draining job. Single parent and although my DCs are late teens, there are SEN which bring their own challenges.

If I can get through a month without clocking up a parking ticket, I count it as a success.

I think burnout with a touch of peri thrown in for me.

user1471538283 · 10/07/2024 18:07

You sound overwhelmed and it might be the peri menopause as well. About your age when things were bad at home and at work I backed into a parked car and just drive off! I didn't even notice.

Go to the Dr and see what they say. I didn't start HRT until after the menopause but I recognise the brain fog.

Summerhillsquare · 10/07/2024 19:49

You are struggling because you live under a shit system that disrespects mothers and carers and has shrugged off responsibility to individuals. It's not your fault!

If money was really a reward for hard work, women like you would be millionaires.

Mrsknowitall · 10/07/2024 20:03

I’m exactly the same as you, have walked straight past my car before and tried to open another car door (not even the make and model of my car) done this a couple of times! I leave to do the school run in the morning then onto work and always have to go running back in because I’ve forgotten something, my husband laughs and says what you forgotten now 😂 I feel like I’m on auto pilot at the moment and same as you think it’s both burnout and being peri. No advice really just don’t want you to feel alone I have 3 kids, 2 having sen (plus dh) at home and it’s non stop. Just go easy on yourself you’re not a shit mum, far from it you’re just exhausted xx

Shitandrun · 10/07/2024 21:25

Sorry to everyone else feeling the same 😔 it's just too much for one person to handle isn't it? @Summerhillsquare thank you for the kind words.

I practically begged ex dp to take the kids this weekend. I got a 45 minute monologue on how hard life is for him as an unemployed stoner, how he has finally found his spiritual home and is now 'working on himself' to be better. But not this weekend, this weekend he's still busy being a piece of shit.

OP posts:
Orders76 · 10/07/2024 23:27

Please get your bloods done. I was putting it all down to normal age and peri, but found I had a massive deficiency.
Once bloods are ruled out then you can cope with everything else.

Orders76 · 10/07/2024 23:28

Sorry I meant cope somewhat, the rest sounds like a tough slog

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