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There is something seriously wrong with me, give me a shake.

10 replies

Thinkyouare · 10/07/2024 14:13

I am in the very early stages with a lovely man. He's a couple of years younger than me and attractive in a middle aged, takes care of himself kind of way. This feels like a real stroke of luck, IME well presented men in their 50s generally date younger women! And he seems to be a genuinely good guy too.

Anyway I vaguely know the woman who was his first real GF (c. 35 years ago!). I know her through slightly overlapping social circles and have spent a couple of evenings in the company of her and her DP, both lovely people.

I know "my" man completely separately to that, it was one of those "small world" things when we realised we both knew her. They're still in touch, in a perfectly harmless old friends occasionally comment on FB kind of way.

Yesterday, I heard the shocking news that her DP had died suddenly. My first thought was how awful for everyone, but it was rapidly followed by the most awful jealous feeling that it will be all over for me now she's available, I bet he's been in touch etc.

I've no idea if he'd be interested if she was a available, but I'm certain he won't be moving in on her within days of her partner of 10 years dying. He probably has been in touch and offered support because that's who he is ,and he would do itfor anyone.

Give me a shake!!

OP posts:
JuiceBoxJuggler · 10/07/2024 14:20

Give your head a wobble. There. Done.

You got your man, enjoy your time together!

Kissingthewookie · 10/07/2024 14:27

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GetThatBloodyFaceOff · 10/07/2024 14:29

The poor woman's bloke has just died. She won't be looking for a replacement (for some time)

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ShrubRose · 10/07/2024 14:49

Happy to give you a bit of a shake, OP, but not a bad idea to pay attention.

Thinkyouare · 10/07/2024 15:07

GetThatBloodyFaceOff · 10/07/2024 14:29

The poor woman's bloke has just died. She won't be looking for a replacement (for some time)

I know she won't, that doesn't and he won't spot an opportunity. My own experience of being widowed was that men were very keen to help me all of a sudden.

OP posts:
Thinkyouare · 10/07/2024 15:08

ShrubRose · 10/07/2024 14:49

Happy to give you a bit of a shake, OP, but not a bad idea to pay attention.

Maybe not, but really if he'd rather have someone else I don't want him. I'm just really shocked at my response. I think I preferred being single!

OP posts:
Thinkyouare · 10/07/2024 15:08

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Very early, a few dates, might never come to anything much anyway.

OP posts:
EmeraldRoulette · 10/07/2024 15:12

@Thinkyouare I find that a really odd thought

but I’m not comfortable in a relationship and the last one I had caused all sorts of weird things in my head so I ended it quickly

you express so clearly that you are better single, I wonder if that was your real reason for posting.

Kissingthewookie · 10/07/2024 15:16

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Thinkyouare · 10/07/2024 15:36

I haven't been in any relationship for such a long time, and that has suited me fine, I've been enjoying life. Then this came along and whilst I enjoy being together, I don't like the vulnerability it creates!

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