Need ideas on how to celebrate a birthday alone

Inthetropics · 2024-07-09T14:22:37+00:00

I've just divorced last week. I loved my ex-DP a lot but discovered she was having an affair and drinking secretly: I had no idea. This friday will be my 40th birthday and I'll be spending it alone. I feel a bit lost and sad, really. I don't have children and my lovely parents live a long trip away so I won't be seeing them. I'll be at work 7 - 4 and after that I have no idea what to do. I need ideas on how to celebrate or at least have a somewhat nice day. I keep thinking about a trip my ex-DP and I were planning for this date and feel kind of empty. I'm usually independent and like to be by myself, but right now it's hard and I'm feeling lonely.

nootropics · 09/07/2024 15:23

any friends at all?

Original poster

Inthetropics · 09/07/2024 15:30

nootropics · 09/07/2024 15:23

any friends at all?

Yes! I Have 3 very close friends. One works with we and we might be able to have lunch at work together; one is on a holiday and the other might be able to meet me saturday, but not sure yet.

OP posts:

AngelinaJowly · 09/07/2024 15:31

I'm sorry that's happened to you. I was also wondering if you had any friends around?

nootropics · 09/07/2024 15:33

Inthetropics · 09/07/2024 15:30

Yes! I Have 3 very close friends. One works with we and we might be able to have lunch at work together; one is on a holiday and the other might be able to meet me saturday, but not sure yet.

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do they know it’s to ur 40th?

tennisfann · 09/07/2024 15:35

Do you thinks you’d prefer to be indoors on your own or out and about?

Indoors- a nice takeaway, luxury bath a pay for newly released movie?

Out- cinema with a nice drink and snacks.

Or ask your possible Saturday friend to let you know if she’s free and then pretend your birthday is on Saturday. Or you could do something nice on Saturday on your own such as a spa day, visit somewhere nice, lunch and shopping etc?

Original poster

Inthetropics · 09/07/2024 15:35

nootropics · 09/07/2024 15:33

do they know it’s to ur 40th?

Show quote history

I'm not sure if they know I'll be 40. Just the one who's on holiday; she's my closest friend.

OP posts:

ghostbusters · 09/07/2024 15:40

Could you splash out and treat yourself to a night or 2 away at a nice hotel? Somewhere that has nice food, or good room service if you don't want to be in the restaurant alone.

Ilovemyshed · 09/07/2024 15:40

Thats a shame. What do you like to do best?

Maybe a really nice meal out somewhere Michelin star - prohibitive for 2 maybe affordable for 1, and its all about the food experience so no need for company!

Otherwise a theatre trip to something a bit random/niche that only you would like.

Or treat yourself to a takeaway and a movie at home.

plainjayne8282 · 09/07/2024 15:49

I'd want to spend it with my parents if I were you. How far away are they? Could you travel to see them Friday night / Saturday?

If not, I wouldn't sweat it.

It's just a number. You're recently separated and having a hard time. Don't put added stress on yourself just because it's your 40th.

Original poster

Inthetropics · 09/07/2024 16:38

tennisfann · 09/07/2024 15:35

Do you thinks you’d prefer to be indoors on your own or out and about?

Indoors- a nice takeaway, luxury bath a pay for newly released movie?

Out- cinema with a nice drink and snacks.

Or ask your possible Saturday friend to let you know if she’s free and then pretend your birthday is on Saturday. Or you could do something nice on Saturday on your own such as a spa day, visit somewhere nice, lunch and shopping etc?

Edited

I'm up for anything as long as I don't get home too late. Movie might be nice.

OP posts:

Original poster

Inthetropics · 09/07/2024 16:44

plainjayne8282 · 09/07/2024 15:49

I'd want to spend it with my parents if I were you. How far away are they? Could you travel to see them Friday night / Saturday?

If not, I wouldn't sweat it.

It's just a number. You're recently separated and having a hard time. Don't put added stress on yourself just because it's your 40th.

I'll be going to my parents on the 29th to spend some time with them. They are 12 hours away; plane tickets would be expensive. I've already bought and paid for plane tickets on the 29th.

I know it's nonsense, but I just feel so old and alone....! Thought I'd grow old with ex-DP.

OP posts:

KateJ521 · 09/07/2024 21:41

Could you take the day off OP?

Let us know where you are based and what you normally enjoy doing. Do you like spas, theatre, going out to eat etc

Original poster

Inthetropics · 10/07/2024 01:39

Ok, I now have a few things planned after reading the sugestions. I'll take the afternoon off (not possible to take the whole day off). A friend and a newish friend will have lunch with me. I've booked a shiatsu massage and have decided to buy myself a ton some flowers because they make me happy and I figured I can join both Mrs Dalloway AND Miley Cyrus simultaneously! My mum has demanded I get a small delicious cake from a bakery nearby and she will pay for that. I intend to go to bed early using new pyjamas and having my cats for company. I might get some new slippers because the pair I'm currently using is a hideous pink collor and was a gift from ex-DP. Oh, and I'll also get some lasagne from a local deli to eat at night (and on saturday for lunch).

OP posts:

PiggieWig · 10/07/2024 02:35

Is there anything on at the theatre you’d enjoy? I love going on solo theatre trips.
Basically, have a date night with yourself.

TheM55 · 10/07/2024 02:47

Being lonely is horrible. After reading the suggestions, and your response, if you do not have any options that suit you or appeal in the slightest (and I think you are going to get lots of lovely suggestions from Mumsnet from people that want you do to do something nice for yourself) If you are keen to do "something", I would do a "diceman" and just do what that suggests.

KateJ521 · 10/07/2024 08:38

The plan sounds perfect OP!

YourNimblePeachTraybake · 10/07/2024 08:43

Inthetropics · 10/07/2024 01:39

Ok, I now have a few things planned after reading the sugestions. I'll take the afternoon off (not possible to take the whole day off). A friend and a newish friend will have lunch with me. I've booked a shiatsu massage and have decided to buy myself a ton some flowers because they make me happy and I figured I can join both Mrs Dalloway AND Miley Cyrus simultaneously! My mum has demanded I get a small delicious cake from a bakery nearby and she will pay for that. I intend to go to bed early using new pyjamas and having my cats for company. I might get some new slippers because the pair I'm currently using is a hideous pink collor and was a gift from ex-DP. Oh, and I'll also get some lasagne from a local deli to eat at night (and on saturday for lunch).

Sounds perfect!
Hope you have a lovely day. 💐

GingerLiberalFeminist · 10/07/2024 08:50

Following my divorce ten years ago, I used to book myself a 3 day weekend somewhere for my birthday, Rome or Paris or similar. Something i would love and then not feel disappointed when I couldnt see anyone.
Oddly now I'm married again, I miss my solo birthday treats 😂

Find something that you know you'll love. Do it for yourself. Whether its your favorite film or meal, or just having a long Bath with a book. Don't rely on others for your happiness.

Caveat: i had shite parents and shite birthday growing up, and this made me quite resolutely independent.

Mog65 · 10/07/2024 09:54

Inthetropics · 10/07/2024 01:39

Ok, I now have a few things planned after reading the sugestions. I'll take the afternoon off (not possible to take the whole day off). A friend and a newish friend will have lunch with me. I've booked a shiatsu massage and have decided to buy myself a ton some flowers because they make me happy and I figured I can join both Mrs Dalloway AND Miley Cyrus simultaneously! My mum has demanded I get a small delicious cake from a bakery nearby and she will pay for that. I intend to go to bed early using new pyjamas and having my cats for company. I might get some new slippers because the pair I'm currently using is a hideous pink collor and was a gift from ex-DP. Oh, and I'll also get some lasagne from a local deli to eat at night (and on saturday for lunch).

Have a great time. Sounds wonderful ❤️

Original poster

Inthetropics · 11/07/2024 00:32

GingerLiberalFeminist · 10/07/2024 08:50

Following my divorce ten years ago, I used to book myself a 3 day weekend somewhere for my birthday, Rome or Paris or similar. Something i would love and then not feel disappointed when I couldnt see anyone.
Oddly now I'm married again, I miss my solo birthday treats 😂

Find something that you know you'll love. Do it for yourself. Whether its your favorite film or meal, or just having a long Bath with a book. Don't rely on others for your happiness.

Caveat: i had shite parents and shite birthday growing up, and this made me quite resolutely independent.

I can't afford a nice weekend away because I'll be paying for the divorce for a few months but I can definitely see myself travelling to Patagonia next year (it's been a dream of mine for quite some time).

OP posts:

Original poster

Inthetropics · 11/07/2024 01:02

Today I bought an unreasonable amount of books and this will be my gift to myself. I plan on wrapping it all up tomorrow and opening it on friday. Might be silly, but I don't care. Staying in sounds lovely now!

Ex-DP came here today to get a few clothes. She is living with the woman with whom she had an affair but a lot of her stuff is still here - not sure why she won't take it all to her home. She has until august 5th to store things here. She caused a scene, cried loudly for more than an hour and is pretty much angry at the fact I've divorced her. It ruined my day . Hope she has the decency not to make an appearance on my birthday.

OP posts:

sashh · 11/07/2024 04:16

My 40th I was planning top be alone but a work colleague ended p coming with me.

I went to see a play and stay in a posh hotel in London.

I've actually spent the odd night in a local hotel that has a pool and spa just because.

So have a look at what's on at the theatre / cinema and have a look at local hotels if you can afford it, so that you are not at home like a normal day.

My 30th I spent on the back of a Harley in Western Australia - just me. My 50th I went with a friend to a Michelin starred restaurant.