Partner is doing my nut in

[hatttiiiie]

honeslty I’m finding it hard to deal with him

weve got 2 young kids (2 under 3) and he has been so whiny because I put them first say I g how he’s left out how I don’t prioritise him. Yes I do priorities our very young children as he works long hours - if I don’t who does?!

He is so moody and lets it affect the night. The kids go to bed and I try to speak to him and he’s wound up just leaves to go on a walk or drive he can’t manage emotions. Properly at all

gets so annoyed at doing tasks and announces he’s done them and wants me to make a song and dance - I don’t announce to him that I change every single nappy, I do bed time every night, I spend most of my time alone with the kids and he has never been alone with the two of them?

Sorry for the rant he really is just winding me up. Tonight flipped on me and said I was nagging him because I had to tell him that no, our 2 and a half year old did not smack his younger sibling with intent to hurt them and that he’s a toddler without that thought process. Hes awful with the kids doesn’t know how to speak to them thinks they’re way older?

im so drained honestly

This isn’t me saying I’m perfect - I have faults like anyone ! But it’s so hard when I’ve had 2 kids in 2 years, 2 pregnancies , 2 c sections

i do everything for them. Every night feed , every meal, everything. I am so drained and I do my best to not be drained for my kids

So it should be understandable that I have little to no sex drive , that sometimes I’m overstimulated?

Rhere is 0 sympathy there for me as to how hard these past few years have been. I have been near enough a single parent so I’ve got to take my hats off to everyone who is a single parent it is so hard to do everything yourself all the time

Take yourself on a day out and leave him too it. He needs to realise how hard it is. Good luck!

Man-baby alert. How disappointing. He didn’t think this parenting thing through, did he 🙄

If you are looking after the kids, who’s looking after you?

No one. I’ve really let myself go I look awful and I’m a shell of a person

Yep he is. Only wants the good bits of parenting it feels

I wish I had the guts. I just hate the thought of the kids wanting me / missing me :(

He needs to grow up and stop being so selfish.

You have three children.

Sadly like many men he has failed to anticipate that when two utterly helpless toddlers are in the house, he is no longer going to be the centre of your attention and world.

Does he have a real mum who can talk some sense into him?

Can you afford to stay over in a hotel just for a night and switch off ? Relax and have some wine - a long bath and just rejuvenate yourself ?

It’s so sad to read you feel like a shell of a woman. You’re keeping and holding things down. Find yourself again, and put that into your priorities not him. Once you love yourself again you will have a clear mindset of where you want to go with your future xx

Get rid of him. Your life will improve dramatically.

Well complaining about him is going to get you nowhere, OP. You need to begin speaking up, asking him to step up and act as a father, not just an occasional helper.

Stop doing everything! Hand him the children and go for a walk and then out for coffee for an hour with a friend. Let him do his own laundry. Why are you allowing yourself to be worn down? If you don't take care of yourself noone else will. And if you don't insist he help you he never will. This must change before you completely resent him .

This.

Stop wasting your time. You're exhausted, he isn't even coming close to pulling his weight and he's sulking and whining about not being the centre of attention and not getting enough sex.

You could try having the conversation - short, blunt and to the point, but it probably won't work. He's spoilt, selfish and lazy. There are very few who can come back from that.

Can you leave? Or kick him out? What family support do you have?

Can you go back to work and use childcare during the days? Honestly, it would be easier & less tiring.

At the very least, you need to resurrect your career and have an income because a man who's whining about not getting enough sex will generally find it elsewhere. Prepare to be a single mum. Don't worry about it though, it's easier being rid of the man-baby.

He is so selfish. And he wouldn’t listen to anyone he doesn’t care what anyone thinks which he prides himself on but sometimes it’s too far

i do need to work on myself im 26 and it’s like im way older. Nothing wrong with being older but i am still young and it’s just not like that? I have a cousin who is my age and the difference is staggering
i look at her going out dressed up and i wish i could be a fraction as pretty as she is

I sure you are pretty but worn down with carrying the heavy load of him which is why you feel older. Confront him. Make him accept responsibility and his role in the family. Children should be the priority.
If he won’t tell him it’s over.

I have support. I’m just getting on the mortgage now as when we moved out o was a student and didn’t have a good job etc so now I can

i don’t have savings but I’m on SMP so I’ll be saving when I get my full wages bsck

i I have an amazing family. I’m just maybe stupidly in the hope that he’ll go back to the man who cares about me

hes always been someone who’s been headstrong and not cared what people think but now it feels like he just is majorly selfish and doesn’t care about anyone but himself

If you want to stay in this relationship have you tried talking to him away from the kids about how unhappy you are? We should absolutely prioritise children but I’m going to play devils advocate here, I wonder if he’s also missing the relationship you had before and feels pushed out. I am not saying he has the right to feel that way before anyone jumps on me. We had three kids in a short space of time and there was a huge strain on our marriage as we never spent time alone together and we almost ended up separating because of the resentment we both felt.

However, him stepping up and being a dad is a separate issue. He should definitely be doing a lot more, you need a break too.

having young kids is hard and it does get better. My youngest is now 6 and it’s easier than it used to be. And I’m sure you’re a beautiful person inside and out. It’s difficult to make time for yourself with young kids never mind your partner.

Just leave. You’re doing it all alone anyway and he isn’t going to change.

He’s older isn’t he?

How old is he, OP?

He’s 6 years older than me