How to get over sudden driving anxiety

[Lefmry]

Sorry if anybody sees this post twice but posting here for more traffic.

I’ve always been a little bit of an anxious driver but I’ve always just gone and done it. I’ve driven all over where I live. I’ve travelled 3 hours to Bristol, 5 hours to South Wales and random days out to places hours away as some examples, I just got on with it. I also drove to and from work every single day and that commute was 30 minutes each way.

7 years a go I got seriously ill very suddenly and was house/bed bound for a very long time. My car sat on the drive for at least 2 years and once I was better I realised I couldn’t do it anymore, I could no longer drive because of my anxiety. Covid then hit and I had even more excuses not to drive. Partner was furloughed and we decided to get rid of my car as it was an unnecessary financial burden at the time.

Fast forward to last year and I needed a car for the school run. The school being literally 5 minutes drive away but every single day the anxiety over it crippled me. I was getting a little better, ventured as far as my sisters house 15 minutes away a few times. Then we moved house and now my sons school is 15-20 minutes away and today is the first day I’ll be doing that drive to pick him up (partner has taken him in as I’ve felt too anxious to do it) and I feel awful over it.

I have felt so bad in fact that I literally have been tempted to keep my son off school this last week before the six weeks holidays, but I know deep down that’s not right. Has anybody else ever felt like this suddenly and been able to overcome it? I feel like I know the only way through is to force myself to do it which is what I’m doing today, but oh my god I feel so incredibly anxious! I will be thinking about it allllllll day 😫

@Lefmry , I feel your pain. To cut a long story short I’ve had a lot of very serious issues with my eyes and I wasn’t legally able to drive for a couple of years. Following several surgeries I can now legally drive but I’m absolutely terrified of doing so, you’re actually doing better than me and that has given me some hope thank you and I hope it helps you to feel like you’re more able than you give yourself credit for. Like you I was never a confident driver and I only ever drove relatively locally.
Im sorry I don’t have an answer but I hope someone comes along with one for us both.

I would get a few refresher lessons, preferably with an instructor who specialises in older and/or anxious drivers. And take your time in getting back into it - build up in increments. You know you can do all kinds of driving because you've done it before, and you will again. You could also find the calmest, most encouraging friend or family member you know and ask them to sit in the passenger seat while you do some practice drives. You'll get there!

I agree with @cerealfantasist. I was always a really confident driver, then I was involved in a crash that nearly killed me. I found it so hard getting back in a car again but I knew I needed to push myself as I don't live somewhere that driving is not an option. My instructor from when I first passed is still working, so I booked a couple of refresher lessons with her and that really helped. Good luck

The only thing to do about anxiety is to do the thing that frightens you. The more you avoid it the more entrenched your fear will become.

In your case, I would book some refresher lessons, or get someone to sit in the car with you when to drive if that calms you. Try to drive a little every day if you can and bore the fear into submission.

Also- re your anxiety, I see it followed an illness , but might it be worth checking there is no other reason for it such as perimenopause? Mine absolutely rocked my confidence.

I agree that the best way to beat it is to just do it.

You know you're anxious - but you know you have to drive.
You know you can drive - just face it and do it. Just don't expect to enjoy it.

I know how you feel. I am finding so many other drivers on the road really aggressive these days. We live in the countryside and it seems 8 out of 10 drivers are wanting to do 70 or 80 along the winding lanes and it's just not safe. Dirt and grit flying everywhere and god help any children, and live stock and horses on the road! They drive up your arse and it makes me anxious/angry.

Plus night driving is miserable now with the extra bright beams and people who can't be bothered to dip their mains when they come across another car. AND drive up your arse!

Sorry - this probably isn't helping ! Despite all this i drive anyway. I have to drive. So i do drive. But i don't enjoy it like i really did use to. I just wish everyone else would fuck off the road 😂

Thank you everybody for your replies yesterday. I went and did it in the end and it was absolutely fine! I was anxious during the whole build up but man did I feel happy and relieved as soon as it was over. Now to do it again today! 😖😂 I’m sure it’ll get easier with time and maybe one day this week I’ll face doing it in the morning but for now my partners doing that as during the mornings I’m my most anxious.