Concerned mum please advice

[Vittoria123]

Concerned first timE mum
My daughter is 17 months and I have been suspecting autism for a while now . This are the things she can do :
she can walk independently since 12 months
she has 50 words , plus can link two sentences together
3 ) sleeps through the night since 14 months
she can point , wave and clap
smiles at us and people
does pretend play and kick a ball
7 ) she responds to her name if not doing other things, like watching tv or making silly face in front of the mirror . Is it normal ??
8 ) she can follow our point
9 ) she follows simple commands: like “ go and get teddy or “stop “ when I tell her to .
no tantrums or if they occurs they last less than a 1 minute
loves animals and but not good with other kids . She look at kids and people and then run away laughing
plays appropriately with toys
can point at body parts

things she can’t do
can’t climb down the stairs but can go up alone with her feet ( if I try and teach to go down she cries )
she goes stiff when excited and comes out of the bath
she doesn’t want to hold my hand
not a brilliant self feeder ( still prefers me to feed her
she crosses her fingers when tired

please any advice is really appreciated
ps : already spoken with the HV , GP , family health support group and been told that they have no concerns .

I have a 2 year old, only recently has started going downstairs whilst holding my hand. Before she would want carried so I don’t think the stair thing is anything to worry about.

My little one also goes rigid when I try to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do.

She would rather run than hold my hand and can get upset so I use reins when I need to.

Now she feeds well but at a year and a half she went through a proper fussy stage and I felt like we regressed to me feeding her .

My little one would answer to her name but if she’s being silly or really focussed on something then she wouldn’t notice me calling for her . Does your little one give you eye contact?

What makes you think it’s Autism? If everyone else is quite happy with your progress then I would focus on that. She sounds very similar to my dd and nieces and nephews at that age.

I can't see anything in your list of things your dd can or can't do that would make me think she's autistic.

She sounds absolutely normal. Not ahead or behind or worrying, just normal.

She is very very young still and children develop at different rates and often do things in a different order to others of a similar age.

Sounds "normal", why do you suspect autism exactly?

This all sounds completely normal development for her age

This really. I have a huge extended family whose kids (including one with autism) showed a massive range in development & behaviour.

As a mum with an autistic son. She sounds completely normal to me. What is it you are concerned about ?

What the hell - I can't even see anything in your list that would remotely suggest autism?!

Sounds completely normal to be. Nothing you have mentioned points to autism.

I have worked (early years) for 20 years with children who have autism, and have a (now adult) autistic son, and NOTHING you have written raises any red flags for autism to me.
She has absolutely age appropriate skills, and social skills. Toddlers don't play with other children... that skill emerges very slowly from noticing them but not being interested, to slightly noticing, to playing separately alongside, to genuine interaction (usually nearer 3 years)

She's interacting with you, she plays with toys... no doctor is going to dx autism because she is not showing any of the triad of impairments!

Toddlers do all sorts of odd and funny things. Going rigid with excitement..normal. Not wanting to hold hands... normal. Being lazy with feeding...normal (I was poking porridge into my 3 yr old grandson this morning... cos he was being lazy!) Climbing down stairs.. a skill learned gradually and certainly not remotely abnormal.

Please relax!

Hi
First , thank you so much for taking time to respond , my main concerns are the food part , that sometimes , she is not willing to try new food and that , on certain foods , like noodles, she gags if too much in her mouth (having said that, we never corrected her tongue tie so unsure if it has something to do with it . Also , she crosses her fingers when tired and occasionally toe walks and goes a bit stiff when excited .

Again many thanks for your time xx

NHS possible signs in young children here. Your daughter doesn't have many of them.

The mild sensitivity to new textures and tastes with food is pretty developmentally normal for a 1yr old. Although ALL people with autism have sensory sensitivities its also extremely common for children without autism to have sensory sensitivities so by itself it isn't a very specific indicator of autism.

Toe-walking likewise is very very common. Its only suggestive if it is the predominant way a child walks.

I would be more concerned if there was less interest in communication - eye contact, shared attention, understanding gestures in addition to speech, and her play was atypical e.g. more interested in arranging toys, making patterns etc than roleplaying.

Although I think the NHS website is good al checklists can make it easy to over-focus on details. Its really only worth worrying if your child is doing more than half the things on that list. All three of mine did some things on the NHS list, DS was a massive hand flapper for example until he was 3 or so. He doesn't have autism.

Totally normal. Stop worrying.

There is literally nothing in your list that indicates autism. Lots of children have some issues around food and are not Autistic.

My toddler walked on tip toes, she grew out of it.
She would also gag on noodles.
She went through a proper fussy stage where she would like the food and then scream if she didn’t want it- thankfully grew out of this.
She also liked to cross her fingers when she learned how to do it.

Sorry but nothing you’ve listed screams autism but the fact that some professionals have also told you not to worry is a good thing.