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Struggling with group of mums I know

2 replies

MoSalahsBeard · 07/07/2024 21:48

Have got to know a group of mums. At first they seemed extremely stand offish to the point I found it rude but then through our kids doing an after school club together we got to know each other and now we chat together while our kids are doing their activity after school and at weekends and our kids sometimes meet up at weekends too.

However I feel really uncomfortable and I need to vent.

All they literally ever talk about is their kids education and development. There is a major push towards academic excellence- think clubs every night of the week, tutors more than one night a week, constant fretting over it all. There have been disparaging and snobbish comments about comprehensive schools, which my child goes to. It makes me feel rubbish.

The main chatty one is incapable of talking about anything other than herself and her kids’ achievements. She invited us to hers for a get together this week and I felt drained by the end of it because the women did nothing but talk about their kids, schools, grades and exams the entire time. When I saw the one who kindly invited us around today I asked her about various things like how her week has been, her holiday plans blah blah and there was not a single query my way at all in 3 hours.

One of these women’s kids has also started bullying my child. My kid is really upset and never wants to see them again. I’ve also started to dread every time we are all together too for my own reasons. I guess we will have to look elsewhere for another club to go to.

These women just make me feel like I’m not good enough because I’m not like them. I don’t feel comfortable at all.

just needed to vent really.

OP posts:
Rainbowsponge · 07/07/2024 21:49

You’re free to leave the group and make new friends

Abitofhassle · 07/07/2024 22:13

I swear I felt more uncomfortable in the school playground as an adult than I ever did as a child.
Parents living their lives via their children, boasting about academic and sporting prowess. They were obsessed with one upping each other and I remember that I felt such a failure when I couldn’t tell them what level of the Oxford Reading Tree my son was on.
Anyway, our kids have grown up, some have been more successful than others and some are happier than others.
Some of those parents are still married and some aren’t.
What I’m saying is that lives will go and these women will have no bearing on yours in the long run.
Their snobbery let’s you know more about them than they’ll ever know about you.
Although it can be difficult try not to fret, keep your distance socially and change clubs if the activity organisers let your child be bullied.

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