Night feeds nightmare

[Boymamaoftwo]

My little one is just a month old and we've switched milk due to him being extremely unsettled but is finally (seems to be) very settled now on the milk and thriving with feeds... apart from at night time. He will cry for his feed when he is due (every 4 hours) and we feed and he does a small amount and then is completely sparko. We've tried nappy changing before,during and after on different feeds to encourage him to wake but it doesn't work. We tickle his feet to wake him and nothing seems to work and so then he is waking up about an hour later because he is hungry as he only had a little bit. Any advice or tips to wake him up or work around this issue? But when I say he is completely zonked he really is but he really cries like he is starving so I'm confused

It's quite typical to be up every hour or two the first few months when breastfeeding. Babies are meant to feed little and often the first few months as their tummies are tiny. You don't need to try to force your baby to stay awake if all the usual methods like a nappy change mid way through, hand stroking etc aren't doing it. You need to accept you're meeting their needs by feeding when they need it.

The key thing is enough support for you to be able to do this as it's hard going. If you're formula feeding then can someone take turns with you? Or allow you to rest at some point in the day?

There are various leaps and growth spurts the first three years which means you will naturally see wake ups (and then requests for milk) increase in frequency. It's totally normal. Unfortunately modern Western society doesn't prepare or support mums effectively to deal with this. Can you link into a peer support group?

Both mine had to be fed every two hours or so day and night at that age.

If you want to feed less overnight then in theory giving more in the day should mean less at night. Might be worth feeding more in the day to fill him up.

Although if he is falling asleep so quickly on the bottle it suggests he’s not that hungry. Have you tried a dummy to settle him back?

Will he dream feed?

Or Have you tried a dummy instead of the milk when he cries at night? After having a little milk an hour before?

Thank your for your replies. I forgot to mention he is formula fed. He does every 4hrs throughout the day and if he does get hungry sooner then we do feed him sooner but he does average the 4hrs 99% of the time.

can you advise how you go about a dream feed? I've never heard of that before not even with my 18month old x

and with the dummy situation he just pops it back out and we do keep trying that

I wouldn’t wake a baby to feed.

Will he then go back to sleep after having that little bit? Or does he wake up shortly after?

after having the small amount of milk he does go back to sleep but wakes up about 1hr later because he is still hungry x

Every 4 hours would only be 6 feeds in 24 hours which seems quite low for a 1 month old. Possibly he isn't having that many calories in the day and then wanting to fill up at night but settling into a snack-doze kind of rhythm. How many ounces do you offer and what does he take during his day feeds? Would he take a bottle sooner than every 4 hours in the day?

He's currently on 5oz and during the day (in the last day and a half) he has drained the bottles, so im wondering if to offer more to see if will take more. It just seems at night he's far too sleepy!! And if I offered him a bottle before the 4hr mark without him showing signs of hunger I don't think he would take it or if he did it would be a small amount and I feel like I would be in the same situation as I am at night times x

This is normal. You're expectations are the only issue here.

@Isthisexpected thank you for your wonderful supportive advice! Highly appreciated.

I do not have any "expectations" I'm asking for advice on how to keep my little one awake during night feeds so he takes a good amount like he does in the day.

Definitely try upping the amount of milk in the daytime if he's draining his bottles, you want him nice and full in the daytime to give you the best chance of good chunks of sleep at night time. 5oz is already quite a lot in one go though and I'd be inclined to try more frequent feeds of 5oz instead of 6oz every 4 hours and see if he will take it.

My boy was jaundiced, very sleepy and losing weight so I had to be a bit cruel to be kind to get him awake to feed and a cold wet wipe around his face was usually the most effective way to piss him off rouse him 🤣

Are you doing paced bottle feeding?

Crying is a late hunger cue, it’s better to follow earlier hunger cues so baby isn’t at the point of crying and so worked up by the time you respond to their hunger.

Every four hours is very infrequent at just 4 weeks old, is he gaining weight well, having lots of wet and dirty nappies?

@Garman this is the thing, he's gaining weight, both midwife and health visitor are extremely happy with how he is doing and multiple wet and dirty nappies. I may add he doesn't get hysterical when crying more of a moany cry. I might try feeding before he gets to that stage and see what happens as well as paced bottle feeding. thank you!!

@sugarplum33 I had this with my first born he was on 7oz around a month and a half and I confirmed with the health visitor if this was okay and they advised follow baby as long as their comfortable and feeding then take baby's lead! So I'm kinda following that this time round as well.

I might have to try the wipe thing!! Hope you're little one is all well now!! Xx

They're * lol xx