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Original poster

Shall I just bin him off over text

54 replies

ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 00:05

I’d been seeing this guy for about 6 months. Went on a few dates with him. He’s always been a bad texted and said it from the off. But over time it was his behaviour that was the issue.

I’ve heard all the excuses under the sun I feel. And he flakes last minute it randomly changes the day without checking if it’s ok with me.

List of excuses for cancelling dates:

  • Safeguarding issue at work
  • wisdom tooth removal
  • Mums car broke down ans he needed to pick her up (cancelled on the hour)
  • Forgot to reply to me while on holiday for 10 days
  • Forgot to bring a change of clothes to see me for a date
  • His car broke down
  • His car got written off
  • He was hungover and didn’t feel up to it
  • Mums in hospital
  • Uncle died so took longer to reply

So the other day he said “will try and arrange to see you this week” at this point I still wanted to give him a chance. He then took 5 days to reply and just said “I’m so sorry I’ve been shit, works overwhelmed me since I’ve been back. I’m so sorry. Are you okay”

Like I’m bored now of the excuses and I was tempted to break it off over message (I know I don’t owe him that) but I really wanna do it to his face or do what he’s done to me and flake last min. last week he asked what days I’m free. I said “ I’m busy. I’m only free Tuesday. Schedules tight now can’t keep freeing it up” Tuesday rolls round “ohh no I’m off to see my sisters new house” funny how the sister just randomly gets a house on the day I suggest.

Annoyingly I’ve had sex with him. I fucking hate myself so much. Be gentle on me please. My confidence is at rock bottom and yes I reckon he’s married too or very much in a relationship. My mates told me to play the game back. But I cba. Shall I just do this over a text?

OP posts:
LimeFish · 07/07/2024 01:34

Can I suggest "Hi. this is not working for me. You're flaky, and the sex was terrible. All the best. I'll be blocking you now."

Original poster
ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 01:37

LimeFish · 07/07/2024 01:34

Can I suggest "Hi. this is not working for me. You're flaky, and the sex was terrible. All the best. I'll be blocking you now."

I LOVE THIS

OP posts:
Edingril · 07/07/2024 01:45

Well when women are dumped by text on here they are told he is terrible

So no I would speak to him

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships Relationship problems
Original poster
ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 02:04

Edingril · 07/07/2024 01:45

Well when women are dumped by text on here they are told he is terrible

So no I would speak to him

The issue I have is that he won’t set a date. And it feels it’s just dragging out unnecessarily. I think if I see him in person. I’ll fall for the bullshit again too.

OP posts:
merrymelodies · 07/07/2024 02:19

Arrange more dates and cancel on him. Grin I know it's petty but he would deserve it.

TheNoodlesIncident · 07/07/2024 02:19

Look how much headspace and time you're giving this loser. He doesn't deserve that much. You can do better than this; you need to find your self respect again, without it your bar is going to stay low. Dump him, block him, forget about him. In fact forget about relationships for the time being, find ways to cherish yourself and build your feelings of self worth. You're wasting your time with selfish and inconsiderate men who'll drag you down while they use you. You deserve better than that Flowers

merrymelodies · 07/07/2024 02:21

Otherwise, dump him by text (say, it's not working out; tired of your flakiness) and forget him. No one deserves to be treated so casually.

merrymelodies · 07/07/2024 02:22

TheNoodlesIncident · 07/07/2024 02:19

Look how much headspace and time you're giving this loser. He doesn't deserve that much. You can do better than this; you need to find your self respect again, without it your bar is going to stay low. Dump him, block him, forget about him. In fact forget about relationships for the time being, find ways to cherish yourself and build your feelings of self worth. You're wasting your time with selfish and inconsiderate men who'll drag you down while they use you. You deserve better than that Flowers

Snap

Original poster
ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 02:26

merrymelodies · 07/07/2024 02:19

Arrange more dates and cancel on him. Grin I know it's petty but he would deserve it.

This is what I’m tying to do

OP posts:
Original poster
ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 02:27

TheNoodlesIncident · 07/07/2024 02:19

Look how much headspace and time you're giving this loser. He doesn't deserve that much. You can do better than this; you need to find your self respect again, without it your bar is going to stay low. Dump him, block him, forget about him. In fact forget about relationships for the time being, find ways to cherish yourself and build your feelings of self worth. You're wasting your time with selfish and inconsiderate men who'll drag you down while they use you. You deserve better than that Flowers

Thank you🥺

OP posts:
merrymelodies · 07/07/2024 02:27

Do it! 😂

PoopingAllTheWay · 07/07/2024 02:27

Just dump him by text

Why drag it out?

Emily1583 · 07/07/2024 02:35

Normally I'd say six months deserves a personal break up but he sounds a dick so a text will do.

Original poster
ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 02:52

PoopingAllTheWay · 07/07/2024 02:27

Just dump him by text

Why drag it out?

That’s my thoughts currently. It’s just being dragged out.

OP posts:
Somerandomgirl · 07/07/2024 15:49

Id just stop messaging and block.. hes clearly not interested / has someone else / married. You only know him 6 months, dont waste more of your time

ThistleWitch · 07/07/2024 15:50

ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 00:14

this sounds so silly, but all I want is the satisfaction of doing it to his face. That’s all I want.

Show quote history

nah - you need to let it go

Original poster
ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 20:34

Somerandomgirl · 07/07/2024 15:49

Id just stop messaging and block.. hes clearly not interested / has someone else / married. You only know him 6 months, dont waste more of your time

Did it today. Plucked up the courage to say “hey. This isn’t working. Good luck.” Then blocked

Thats a big step for me.

OP posts:
Moonshine5 · 07/07/2024 20:35

@ForOliveShaker yes and do it immediately

PatchworkElmer · 07/07/2024 20:37

WELL DONE OP 👏

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/07/2024 20:49

Good job OP!!!

AccountCreateUsername · 07/07/2024 20:57

Well done OP 👏🏼

SuperBatFace · 07/07/2024 20:59

Well done. I'd have gone for 'fuck off you absolute twat. Enough of your stupid shit. Cheerio' but you still got the message across I suppose Grin

Original poster
ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 22:33

SuperBatFace · 07/07/2024 20:59

Well done. I'd have gone for 'fuck off you absolute twat. Enough of your stupid shit. Cheerio' but you still got the message across I suppose Grin

It was a huge step for me. Was really scared to do it too but it had to be done. I kept giving him chance after chance and he kept mugging me off at every opportunity with excuses.

OP posts:
Original poster
ForOliveShaker · 07/07/2024 22:35

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/07/2024 20:49

Good job OP!!!

Thank you. Took me an unbelievable amount of courage to do it. Being scared of the unknown etc. But I could see I wasn’t being treated with any respect here and we were going in circles.

OP posts:
LimeFish · 07/07/2024 22:36

Well done. Onward and upwards.