Can’t stop crying. It’s ridiculous

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

Work Has been really awful, incredibly stressful and has brought me to tears many times since last Nov, 2 weeks ago enough was enough and I quit. I haven’t been back since but we have a scheduled phone call in 10 days to iron out the (long) notice period and to decide if I will work it or not.

Since quitting I have been, firstly a big ball of tears. It’s actually fucking ridiculous - a day hasn’t gone by where I haven’t cried, I’m crying at the drop of a hat, sometimes for no reason and am V emotional and secondly I’m just struggling with it, I’m sad, so tired, not as relieved as I thought I’d be and angry.

But I was so unhappy there I just don’t understand why I’m so upset about it. Probably doesn’t help that I’ve gone from being super busy to, not but I’m really confused about it.

im not really sure where to put this but I think im looking for some insight into my own brain

🙏

There are loads of reasons you would feel sad and conflicted about what has happened,its a pretty shocking thing to happen. Have you seen the dr if you are crying every day though? Do you need a support person for your meeting? It all sounds very difficult .

Sounds like a mixture of burnt out and grief.

I’ve been in a similar situation. I think you are burnt out and need to go through a period of recovery. You will be fine.
Just get your exit interview out of the way.
Decide what’s best for you. Could you work out your notice period, knowing that you won’t work as hard for your mental health?
Or does that idea feel unbearable?

See the Doctor

Get a sick note for anxiety and stress

Based on that sick note ask your employer for gardening leave until the end of your contract

I imagine you're so upset because it's the end of a career which could have been SO different if your employer had been more employee centric

I left my job about a year ago because of burn out.

It took about six months for the random crying to stop,

I'm still on the anti anxiety pills.

I'm in a much much better place now.

It will take you time to heal.

You are in the throes of burnout. I had a horrific time at my last job, due in the main to an utterly toxic megalomaniac manager and his treatment of me during the pandemic. I kept it together until one day I just couldn’t. When I handed in my notice I just fell apart for several weeks. I just went with it and eventually it passed. I got back on an even keel and now things are good. I know I will never get myself into that position again. Work just isn’t worth it.

This is how I went when I burnt out completely and had to leave my job. I cried for a good 4 months.

What I will say is don’t expect to get over it quickly, allow yourself the time to heal and grieve and come to terms with your life changing. Rush the process and you’re back to square one

OP I had this at my job one before. I was burned out... emotionally..not just job but people there.
I cried a lot after...but i got a new job...fook them. Give it a fook it....have time off a little...i did...i pampered myself.and then looked for job.

Can I ask what happens about a reference if you quit? I'm in a similar position and would love to leave.

I'm sorry you're going through that. I've been there. It's horrible. However I went off sick ah got benefits. And got another job during that time.

Do you have another source of income or another job lined up?

When you quit a job you don't get benefits for 26 weeks.

I know you're struggling but this is relevant so I have to mention it.

With regard to references, they are not allowed to give you a bad reference.

I think the minimum they can give is that you worked for them from x date to y date in the capacity of x post.

I don't know if they can refuse though.

Gosh, thank you all. I’ve had a cry at all your responses (apparently standard behaviour these days!) and am so very grateful.

Looking online, it completely fits the criteria for burnout but that feels like I’m being very over the top about it. I was diagnosed and medicated for depression (for 12m) about 8 years ago and have been worried it’s creeping back but I do think burnout sounds more fitting

I don’t have another job to go to but have a 12 week notice period, given time already passed, holidays for me and my employers I’ll at worst have to work 6 weeks which if I need to then I will. I think it’ll be ok given I know it the end of you will.

Genuinely appreciate the benefits/employment advice, I’m not in the U.K. but hopefully it’s useful to others 🙏

Im just SO tired alongside it, I’m needing to nap everyday.

Thank you so mich

I’m not in the U.K. but when I left 4y ago I know that they can’t give you a bad reference just a v basic “X worked here from X date to X date”

You've been in survival mode for a long time OP. It's now 'safe' to empty that pot. Your body is trying to switch to healing instead. It'll pass. Be kind to yourself.

Thank you, I really appreciate that

I'm sorry you've been having such a difficult time. I agree that it sounds like burn out. It may be worth exploring some counselling (not sure how you would access this where you are) to help you work through it.

I

I had a similar thing, OP! Highly paid but incredibly stressful job that on paper was a dream job but was actually an endless nightmare. I quit in May and kept sobbing randomly. I started a new job this week (similar role but less stress) and I feel a thousand times better. I hope you find a move that suits you soon.

So, I’m resurrecting this because I’m not sure what to do.

I still haven’t spoken to my employers, I’ve had no communication from them at all but I have to work on the assumption they will want me to work my notice period. From next week. I don’t want to and don’t think I’ll manage it easily but I cannot get signed off sick (which after some panic attacks and 4 weeks of anxiety and crying I was hoping to) as my doctors is closed for the summer until August 7th.

How do I manage it? Doing the bare minimum isn’t an option due to the job it is, I am the only employee and take 100% of the workload.

How can I muddle through, at a minimum, the next 2 weeks?! I don’t know how to manage my emotions in this circumstance.

Hopeful bump 🤞

I have a burnout too OP. I have 3 weeks left of my notice but I cannot cope anymore and I've just been signed off by GP for the last 3 weeks. I only had to fill in a form on the gp website and they emailed me a sick note.

Sorry to hear you feel similarly @Tadpole10, it’s a rough ride isn’t it.

I wish we had the same level of convenience here! I have emailed the doctors after reading your message though so 🤞🤞

I know you said you are not in the UK, so don't know the details of how your medical system works, but it seems to me surely there MUST be an alternative source of medical care, including sick notes, if your GP closes for so long....

Can you access any form of "out of hours" service for example?

Or a private GP who fan also sign you off?

If you are too unwell to work, you are too unwell to work (it certainly sounds like you are from what you describe). Therefore going to work isn't an option. There must be a way for you to get signed off. What if you had an infection disease for example?

Thank you, it’s crazy isn’t it. I’ve reached out to the expat community over here to see if anyone has a suggestion but right now I can’t find anyone to see that isn’t A&E equivalent. Even the private gp a friend recommended is closed for summer