What's more expensive: the childcare years or the teen years?

[Oddsox1]

Currently paying £1000 a month for 3 days nursery for one child. Second child due to start soon.

Someone please please reassure me that teens won't cost this much?! Chatting to a friend has scared me!

No I have two. Just cut back on other things. But we do have a good income which obviously helps. It has increased as children have got older. I have a basic car owned outright. I don’t have a fancy one as paying for kids activities. My choice.

@theriseandfallofFranklinSaint it is still money you would otherwise have earned though? Even if it would've cover child care fees, it's still an opportunity cost (which is less likely to apply for families with older kids).

I'm jealous because my school only offered ski trips (I didn't go) and museum trips. I'm in my 20s so things must be different now.

If you add up the posters who are detailing teen costa even with multiple trips a year - it’s coming out at about £8K. Costs will increase because of food, utilities but doing all these hobbies and trips is still cheaper than what you’re paying per year in childcare. You will be able to afford some hobbies and experiences for your children, it might not be trips to Dubai but you should be able to pay for a residential or a trip to Cornwall.

And you don't have to say 'yes' to every 'opportunity'!

Skiing is a treat, not an 'opportunity'!

I spend £200-250 per month on DD's hobby, which she is seriously involved in. She knows we are lucky to be able to fund that.

She also understands that this means she has a very basic phone package (£7.50 per month, handset was a birthday and xmas present one year), holidays are camping in the UK, she has a packed lunch not the school canteen etc and she has also 'paid' for extra training opportunities by helping coach the little ones.

Did you have all those opportunities? If not, did it ruin your life? Obviously most parents aren't spending that much because people can't afford to.

@kinshipug it didn’t ruin my life not going on school trips, but I do feel that I missed out. Almost everyone else in my year has memories of the day trip to x, while I sat at school doing extra French lessons with the other four children that didn’t go. It felt horrible, and it wasn’t a decision that was made because of the cost.

That’s by the by, though. I have four teens, and they vary in price. One had worked for a few years, but had to give up her job when her coursework became too demanding. She’s quite low cost now but is about to go to university. The loans won’t even cover her accommodation.

Another is booked onto a residential course that is important for his education, at £7k. His university is a lot cheaper though.

The other two are quite bargain basement. Swimming and music lessons, but no other clubs now.

The things that have become more expensive over time are clothes, food, driving lessons, and holidays. I grew up in a rural area; I don’t think that driving is optional, I think it is essential. We do save by passing football boots and uniform etc onto the next child, but shoes cost us a fortune.

I’d say that the teen years average about the same as nursery, but with the real costs hitting at about 17.

I think both are really variable

Early childhood is expensive if you're relying on childcare: if you can afford to have a SAHP maybe not so much

Teens - can be expensive school trips, but maybe not. You may have a child who constantly wants to borrow money/wants the latest things etc, but not all do

Well yes of course it's a shame for kids to miss out on the more affordable whole class type trips. But I meant more that you don't have to say yes to everything. Not that it's great to say no to everything.

I think Dd costs more than this (17 nearly 18) she attends state grammar school sixth form travel is £250 ( train pass) , clothes £100 ( one pair of shoes/jeans), costemics/ hair cuts £100, food @ home £150 ish. Pocket money £200 ( includes lunches), maths tutor £250 ( £50 pw) driving lessons £160.

WTF @Neurodiversitydoctor
None of that is basics. Thats all your choice. To spend the extra.

I think the university years can be almost as expensive. We had to pay over £8k on accommodation. Even with the minimum maintenance loan and working, there was no way our kids could cover that, have enough to live on and enough time to study.

The teen years before that though can be cheaper, it depends how much you want to spend. Ours had/have expensive hobbies and we've paid for driving lessons, cars, car insurance, along with tech, trainers etc, it adds up. You don't have to do all that though.

yes

A lot is not really surprising. Travel for 16+ education can be a lot. DD has to wear business smart office wear, that's not cheap if you want the clothes to last the 2 years. She can't wear trainers or jeans, so she needs addtional stuff for home.

While make up is either covered by DD's pocket money or she gets it for Christmas/birthday, other toileteries are bought when needed. And unfortunately she has a very different skin than I do so there is no sharing.

Depending where you live, driving lessons can be essential.

Depends on what you choose to fund for them I suppose.
We didn’t have extortionate childcare bills because I was at home with all of them while they were small. I went to college when I just had 2 and they went to the nursery there for a couple of days a week and the they went to mil for 2 other mornings.
They are all older now and we have funded things like driving lessons, cars, school trips abroad, university, proms, phone bills, clothes etc. all of those things have a potential scale of contribution from none to full with everything inbetween.
We had years of buying 3 sets of school
uniforms with a cost of about £1500 a year (state schools with the godawful kilts and blazers and everything else which had to be bought from the provider).
So ours cost us more when they got bigger. Things like family holidays we were paying for 4 ‘adults’ and one child as soon as the older 2 hit the teen years. Same for days out, train travel into London etc, admission to places…
The majority of it was our choice to fund of course, not everything was compulsory.

Yes also clothes food, travel to school and lunch- all fairly essential. I realise I forgot gym membership (£70) and riding ( £120) but fully accept those are discresionary, although very important for mental health and wellbeing.

Probably the teen years for us….I halved my working hours when the kids were small, so not actually paying out for childcare, but huge drop in income….then the teen years, I couldn’t go full time due to other caring issues, plus the expense of teens

The childcare years were far the most expensive for us, but there were no free days or tax breaks in those days. Holiday schemes for teens were equally costly but at least they are only off school for 12 or so weeks per year.

Depends on the aspirations of your family and teenagers though, we have fairly modest holidays and hobbies.

This, it's just different. Remember also those of us with teens now probably had cheaper childcare, tax credits etc. DS ft childminder was £125/ pw in London in 2005.....

I think teens are more variable as it really depends on what you decide to foot the bill for, whereas with little ones the financial hit is more black and white (either lose a salary to have a SAHP or pay 4 figures for childcare). The biggest expenses of teens are the food (enormous amounts and expensive if you want them to eat mainly healthy, fresh stuff) and the clothes (they cost the same as adult clothes but the sizes are changing every 6 months, with shoes being by far the biggest expense for us).

For us, we are just getting into the age bracket but are finding it expensive because

1. they consume at adult level, so everything from holidays to clothing purchases, technology needs, and food shopping is all basically floating the life expenses for adult roommates, and

2. their hobbies and educational extras cost a bomb. DDs want to do a two week summer camp next year which is 3k apiece. Each extracurricular activity costs hundreds or even thousands per year per child, and that’s not including tournaments or gear. Tutoring, school clothes, class trips… it can be as expensive as you want to make it. Many of these expenses are clearly optional, though. For us, if you were to add up absolutely every kid-related expense and average it out over the year, between clothes/shoes, holidays (adult plane seats, adult ski passes and gear, need two hotel rooms, etc), education-related things like school trips and clothes, extracurriculars, energy/water/internet/food/housing consumption, university savings, technology needs, etc, I expect we spend more than 1k/month/child. If we were paying for their education ourselves, that would certainly be closer to 2-3k per month per child, if not more. We know that we are fortunate to have the disposable income to give our kids these opportunities, but yes, for us they are more expensive than they were as toddlers.

@PuttingDownRoots

Everything is branded and only a few suppliers. The school give a list of all compulsory uniform/ kit. The blazer is £100, then 2 skirts (£35 each- they're long wool types), 2 jumpers (£40 each), 2 pe tops (£30 each), skort (£28), pe leggings (£35), pe sweatshirt (£40) , shoes (£85 last year from Clarks), school approved swimming suit (£30), hockey trainers (£50). Then there's 4 shirts, tights and ties etc. then hockey bag, hockey stick, shin guards etc.

I didn't have childcare costs when they were small as family helped but I don't think teens are that expensive. I have two DD 13 and 17. I can buy them clothes for next to nothing as they wear women's 6-8 and don't favour expensive brands. Lunches are about £15 a week, they walk to school, phones £8 for the 13 yo and under £30 for the 17 yo. Hair cuts one or twice a year £35 for both, no nails, eye brows or other expensive beauty treatments. Make up is usually from birthday and Christmas gifts but I'll shout the odd £3 mascara. No expensive hobbies. I hardly ever buy new uniform as they haven't changed size much. School shoes £35 a year for the younger one. Contact lenses £35 a month for the eldest. She isn't learning to drive yet, she can get a job if she wants extras but has money in her bank account for incidentals. School trips are ok if under £500 (we've only had one since COVID, £175). We've agreed above that budget we will have a family trip instead. Prom cost under £150.

their hobbies and educational extras cost a bomb. DDs want to do a two week summer camp next year which is 3k apiece. Each extracurricular activity costs hundreds or even thousands per year per child, and that’s not including tournaments or gear. Tutoring, school clothes, class trips… it can be as expensive as you want to make it. Many of these expenses are clearly optional, though. For us, if you were to add up absolutely every kid-related expense and average it out over the year, between clothes/shoes, holidays (adult plane seats, adult ski passes and gear, need two hotel rooms, etc), education-related things like school trips and clothes, extracurriculars, energy/water/internet/food/housing consumption, university savings, technology needs, etc, I expect we spend more than 1k/month/child.

It really says something though that even a teen doing 3k camps and regular skiing is getting towards the cost of a child in nursery costs. And it's not like pre school age children are free other than nursery costs, they still need stuff - car seats, clothes, activities, food.