How would you react to your teen punching someone?

[Hardingham291]

Ds is 15, never been in a fight before. He was in school today when a lad called his friend the n word. DS turned around and asked him 'what did you just say?'. The lad replied with 'you heard, what are you going to do about it?'. He then squared up to DS. DS punched him, the lad fell into hedge and that was the end of it.

This is new territory and I don't know how to react. School aren't aware of what has happened.

I'd tell him well done and report the other boy for racism 👏👏

I have to agree with this , never ideal to use violence but sounds like this twat needed it and your son did the honourable thing standing up to racism and his pal.

I would be extremely proud of him.

In that particular scenario, I wouldn't be able to summon up much outrage about it. I'd probably have a talk about being careful to avoid escalating a situation unnecessarily and leave it at that.

Well done to your lad for standing up against racism. My concern would be if the other lad hadn’t had a soft landing in a hedge but a hard one on a pavement.

We could all do with a friend like your ds!

Well on the one hand I guess this idiot might think twice about bullying your DS and his mate in future, however, punching people without physical provocation will get him in a whole heap of trouble both now and in years to come.

Have you discussed it in detail with him? He needs to find other ways of dealing with verbal insults - laughing at them, walking away etc.

Do you think there will be backlash from the school?
It's possible this boy will not say anything and you may hear no more about it.

violence is never the answer and the police could knock on your door this evening as your son has assaulted someone. However, I would be proud that he called out the racist little prick. School will punish him, were they in uniform? 2 day exclusion?

I’d be v upset he went straight to physical viiolence and risked getting prosecuted, which could have huge, negative impact on him. Or worse, eg the other boy retaliates with more violence.

I'm so sorry your son had to deal with this. I think that if someone called my son the n word and squared up to him before my son punched him I would remind him that there are racist a-holes everywhere unfortunately and sometimes it's better to get the hell away to keep himself safe. However, I'd do precisely nothing - and if the school wanted to take it further they would find a formal complaint for their support of a racist dickhead coming their way.

Obviously talk to him about the one punch death cases, but I wouldn't be devastated as he was standing up to a racist.

Bloody good for him. Pat him on the back for this incident, but maybe teach him the risks of (and advise against) such action in future - so many teens and twenties carry knives these days.

And teach him the law around self defence!

Not impressed for getting physical (first). Very proud of him for standing up to racism though. I'd say well done for the latter, admonish him for the first and offer/advise better actions if it happens again.

My son was younger than that but a few years ago he hit/punched another boy when that boy had called his younger brother some unsavoury/bigoted names because he had a unicorn tattoo on his arm.

I struggled to be anything other than proud of him. No one was actually hurt as I’m not sure he even connected with the other boy properly.

My son is same age and I wouldn't be impressed if he reacted that quickly with violence.

I would congratulate his attitude to racism and deliver a serious chat about the possible consequences of violence. He does not want a criminal record or a serious injury on his conscience.
I hope that's the end of it for his sake.

I went through a terrible phase aged 11-15 of every time I was bullied or had a go at by anyone I’d punch them hard in the face. I got in serious trouble each time and often was suspended from school. I was having a horrific time at home and couldn’t fight back but for some reason at school I had zero tolerance for it and it was like an outlet for everything. It only stopped when I was given a 1-1 for a year who was so lovely and arranged help and counselling for me . My parents were always furious with me about it

I wouldn’t be annoyed at what he did but I would explain that, although it felt good at the time and the boy deserved it, you can’t predict the consequences of throwing a punch. If the lad had fallen wrong he could have hit his head and died. It’s like how you can fall 20 feet and be fine or fall 5 feet and be seriously hurt. You never know how it will end. There’s also the risk of escalation and the boy coming back with friends or a knife.

Were they in school uniform?

I'd get ahead of this and inform school detailing exactly what happened and who said what, that you don't approve of the violence but want them to be aware of the hate crime and ensure that DS, his friend and the bully aren't together in class on Monday. They will likely find out from someone else and getting you point across first is important.

As for DS I'd make sure he understood the consequences of his actions if he turns to violence, over the age of criminal responsibility, what that could mean for him and a look at the Punch Kills campaign

Tell him he did the right thing in that situation.

Bless him. Right intention, wrong action. Plenty of people have been killed with one punch and althought it's understandable that he wanted to, best not to make a habit of it.

Same as this.

He shouldn't have punched him.

While I would congratulate him on standing up on racism I would be angry at the violence. If it was a low wall or concrete that this fella fell onto it rather than a hedge, it could have lifelong consequences for both your son and the guy he punched.

This.