Lost all motivation for everything, how do I get it back?

[CantDecideAUsename]

Have had quite a stressful few years with family issues, work issues, one DC with complete school avoidance and being diagnosed with autism.

A lot of the issues are mostly resolved but I’ve been so focused on them I’ve just lost my motivation for anything else. I’ve put on weight but can’t seem to get myself back to healthy eating or exercise, I’m doing the bare minimum at work and I just don’t have the energy for anyone beyond the basics.

I’m in a complete slump and I hate feeling like this. I’m just looking for ideas for how to get out of it. I used to always be doing something but now I can’t seem to find the energy or motivation for anything.

Sounds like there is no balance and it's been that way for too long, and you're now pouring from an empty cup.
I'm in a similar position, and I think I need more time for myself which would look like, getting some voice in how my time is spent (bet little if that for me), doing things I enjoy just because I enjoy them, spontaneity occasionally so I'm not always forcing myself to be in the mood for what's happening but that something happens because I'm in the mood for it.

I have no idea how I'm going to make this happen though! I'm stitched up like a kipper.

You’re right, there isn’t much balance. Part of the problem is the only things I really want to do involve eating chocolate and drinking wine. Which is probably not helping. Just miss at least having something I’m working towards.

Baby steps I think - excuse the Americanism but the idea of a "date" with yourself once per week is a good way to start. Take yourself out for a walk once per week to start, not as exercise but as "me time", even half an hour but put it in your calendar and stick to it as time to (literally or figuratively) smell the roses and appreciate being alive in the moment.

If you want do the old mindfulness thing - count five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can feel (the contact of your feet landing on the ground, the breeze on your face, the contact of your arm with your clothes for example), two things you can smell and one thing you can taste - this helps remind you to stay "in the moment" and enjoy the walk instead of getting bogged down in the same thoughts as at home. Obviously if you don't want to do that you can listen to a podcast or music or whatever!

Once you've got in the habit of the "ring fenced" half hour walk just once per week, add on either another walk or something else such as taking yourself out for coffee (with a book/ e-reader as a psychological prop if you need to "look as though you're doing something" to avoid feeling self conscious even if you don't read it) on the first Saturday of each month (or other fixed date you'll stick to).

You can build up to doing more and involving other people when you feel ready, but anything small you can commit to on a regular basis just by making the commitment to yourself is a good start psychologically.

Oh I could have written this 6 months ago! Had the worst year I could have ever imagined starting last July. It got so bad I didn't celebrate my 40th in November. My cards are still sealed in my drawer, I just couldn't do anything but bare minimum. Things calmed down slowly in January, but I'm still struggling a bit even now. But it's better. I went from training 3 times a week, healthy eating etc (I used to Box and amateur MMA) to nothing.
Here's what I did.
Started with:
Melatonin for good quality sleep every night.
Focused on this and took Ashwanganda for help with anxiety.

February made an effort with a home hair colour, couple of face masks, body scrubs etc every Friday night after kids in bed. Plus baileys hot chocolate or a glass of bourbon.

Started weekly excercise in late Feb.
Really really pushed myself to get back to my hobby (snowboarding) at the weekend with the kids.

Made sure I have a decent fruit smoothie every day.

I have made progress and it's taken time and I do have to be really strict with myself to try. But it's worth it and YOU are worth it.

One thing that has really helped for me was taking daily vitamin d tablets. I found out mine was low after a blood test. I noticed a difference in a few weeks. Might be worth a try. If you have other concerns maybe ask your gp if you can have a blood test to make sure everything is ok.