What's been the lowest point of your life?

[Canttakemuchmoreofthis1]

I feel like I'm in it now, and it shows. The sparkle has gone from my eyes, I have dark circles and my skin looks dull.
I just want to stay in bed all the time.
I'm on antidepressants. I should be grateful as I have a loving family and I like my job, but yeah, I'm definitely at the lowest I've felt in a long time.
What was your lowest point and how did you come back from it, did things start to improve?

1. The traumatic delivery and very early months after dd1's birth. PTSD and PND with zero support and I was suicidal. Eventually realised I had to get help, saw a doctor, started antidepressants (have needed them on and off for the last 2 decades since).

2. Many very difficult years followed with escalating abusive exH with 2 young children, building projects, very little support close by. Eventually managed to leave and rebuild my life. By no means a 100% turnaround - the past 20 years have been mentally (and physically, dealing with a long term condition) hugely challenging but I am doing far better than I could ever have imagined 20, 15, or even 7 years ago.

I’ve had two nervous breakdowns: one at 25 and the other at 28.

The love of my life killed himself. No idea how I got through it, but I am still standing and have made a life for myself despite it.

Lost my 22 year old son in an accident in 2022 then I split with my husband after 25 years and he took it badly and did something I will never ever forgive him for and I hope he rots in hell I then reconnected with my first love who I hadn't spoken to in 25 years, he heard about my son and wanted to offer his condolences and we just got it off immediately and after 11 months he proposed to me on the 13th February of this year and I finally thought it was my chance to be happy but anyway he unexpectedly died on the 28th February from complications with pneumonia and yeah since then I feel like I have died inside and if it wasn't for my 14 year old daughter I don't think I would be here. I'm not out yet though lol I'm trying so so hard to find some sort of positivity and am moving house next Thursday because we really need a fresh start but yeah I feel like that's it for me and I'm gonna be in this slump forever

My first son being still-born. Time heals, and I went on to have four healthy children, but yeah, it changes everything. About you, and about how you deal with them too.

November 2022. Holding on to furniture in my sitting room to stop myself getting in the car and driving into a wall. The feeling lasted about an hour. It was that point I reached out for help. I would say I’m 80% better.

The week that my husband died. He was so ill, and then things spiralled out of control and he was dead.

Nov 2012 I was told O had an ruptured ectopic and needed emergency surgery. I phoned my mum to tell her and she told me her doctor had said she had markers for ovarian cancer. I lost a tube, found out I had a large cyst on my
Ovary and then shortly afterwards it was confirmed mum had cancer. Not long after that that it was terminal. During the next 9 months I had to have a further cyst removed from my ovary and my mum declined frighteningly quickly. She died 31 Aug 2013z I found out I was pregnant shortly afterwards. Even though I didn't believe in that sort of thing, I felt like it was her last gift to me. Just before my 20 week scan my dad turned yellow and it became clear not long after that he also had terminal cancer. I had a terrible pregnancy, could barely walk, had huge pain and obviously stress/grief. My dad made it three weeks past my son's birth and then also died. Cannot imagine there being worse to come because it was unbearable!! It took me a long time to come through it. I still cry and grieve on an almost daily basis, but life really is better. I miss them but life has grown round the grief.

Sorry you are struggling, life really does go in cycles of absolute shite to great again. Don't give up. Look for the wins and for something to be grateful for every single day. I wish you well. xx

Now. I am in a cycle of hating my job and my boss is awful. I am working over an hour away and I am seeing less of my kids whilst my dh sees them more as he does sch runs etc.
I feel trapped, lonely and exhausted all the time.

my sister died two years ago and that was the worst day of my life, but yeah, I am in a terrible place now too.

I know this will pass, but it’s hard.

My mum and granddad were both dying. I was supporting both of them, my son was going through asd diagnosis and I had a very stressful job. Life felt awful, no laughter, no fun. All stress and worry. It got on top of me in the end

2003 was my worst year, Fell pregnant unexpectedly at 39, at 7 months pregnant, it came to light that my daughter had multiple deformities, and would have no quality of life. I chose to end the pregnancy, and had to give birth, turned out her deformities were a lot worse than first thought. At the same time my home was being repossessed and we found ourselves homeless, my mother in law was diagnosed with Huntingtons disease, which impacted my husband, children and other family members. I will never forget the feeling of not wanting to be here, if it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't have been, Thankfully, that dark time passed and I survived it, but I live in dread of feeling like that ever again.

When my husband died suddenly. My kids were 4 and 6. Telling them was the hardest thing.
But as I had young kids I kept going. I guess without them to look after it would have been worse. Arranging and writing the funeral (non religious and there is no format so I wrote every word that was said besides what his friends contributed) then it was half term and we went away for a few days.
Christmas that year was when it really hit home. I love that time of year. But after the day I just could not bear the sight of the tree and it came down pretty quick.
That was almost 15 years ago. The repercussions of his death continue to be felt still.

Being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis totally out of the blue, my DS’ were little at the time, it was a really horrible time, accepting the diagnosis and knowing that my life had changed.

hugs to all on the thread, who have faced horrible times too.

Lowest was year I had 3 cancers then 2 surgeries, chemo, radio and as going through it DSs school decide to declare can't meet needs and don't allow him to attend as anxious and wanders. He tries to attend as he wants to go to school, school call police which terrifies him and police deem him a flight risk handcuff him (he's mute and gentle) and take him to hospital. He's given a drug to sedate him but it goes wrong and leaves him in a coma like state for 8 months during which we don't know if he will live or die, getting thinner by the day and just skin and bone and no-one will tell us what has happened until end of 8 months. Then there are signs he has been raped in hospital so they release him to home still unable to speak, write, eat, drink, and only able to walk with us holding him and prompting him with no meds and just left to it really with cahms doing a weekly call with me. Spent his 16th birthday in there, missed his GCSEs and no education given since 2022 still. 1 legal case done where I represented us.

Now we are a year on from there and we are still and will always be very traumatised by what happened and angry with all the people who could have helped but turned their backs but life is getting much better. My daughter did brilliantly in her GCSEs during my chemo and again at A levels and 2 great jobs, lovely boyfriend, she has an offer from Oxford Uni and will start there in October and has just been on holiday to Borneo with me and now in Kefalonia with her boyfriend. I have just had 2 years all clear from cancer and been to Borneo with my daughter and Mauritius with her last year and Maldives before that. I am very fit again and done lots of work on house and garden, swim 3 times a week. Lovely husband and pets and he has worked throughout and been amazing, definitely married the right man. Son has an awful long way to go but I no longer wonder if I will find him alive or dead now as he can eat and drink OK again now and even cooks things like cheese toasties, hot cross buns, hot dogs. He washes up and does his washing sometimes and bathes and does hair and teeth and is watching Netflix and ipadding again and going in garden. He is still not speaking or writing and won't leave house and terrified of teachers and anyone connected with cahms and I expect the trauma will never leave him or us but each day he gets a little better. There are still legal battles to come, ones my daughter will take on if I die but we will carry on fighting for as long as it takes for him and us. I just wish we didn't have to.

When my youngest was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa in 2020. Many times we nearly lost her. They days are better but still a long way to go. I live on edge. I am thankful for every minute she’s still here.

My mum dying, being in terrible debt (over 20K) and having an alcohol problem all at the same time.

This was over 10 years ago, I am living with losing my mum, I miss her but that awful gut wrenching pain has passed. I am no longer in any debt, I contacted a debt charity and it is now all cleared (albeit it was hard). I stopped drinking, went AA and have not drank for nearly 7 years).

2017/18. Exh left me for another woman in my friendship group. I felt like the laughing stock of the village. He turned very nasty very quickly. There was an orchestrated campaign by friends of the OW to drive me out of my work. Then my mum died suddenly.

Trafficked into prostitution by a man I had thought was my boyfriend. Beaten in the head with an iron bar when I got too old and he didn't need me any more. Police didn't care. I ended up being sectioned, then homeless, addicted to heroin and crack and alcohol, working on the streets.
It got better. I'm now in a little flat with my daughter and our dog. It doesn't go away, it's always at the side of me, playing out over and over again, but life is so much better that it's almost like I've been reincarnated.

Losing my mum suddenly 4 years ago at 36 weeks pregnant with my first child. My heart is still shattered, I still cry most days

Christmas Day 2016, my sister was dying in a hospice. We were all on tenterhooks waiting for the dreaded call. She clung on five more days but it was one of the worst days of my life.

Several worst times
First was after an arranged marriage and my now ex accused me of having an affair. We were living with my conservative parents so I had to grab my son and go stay with a friend. All hell had broken loose even though I hadn't even been in contact with a man nothing. My son was only 18 months old. When I came back home the ex answered the door like he owned the place. It totally ruined the relationship with my parents. I got a divorce got a career and bought my own house bringing up my son on my own. He ended up being diagnosed with bipolar at 17 and went on month long manic episodes. One time he punched me in the face on my birthday
My mum passed away and I got the blame from other siblings and then my dad passed away suddenly and my siblings sued me for the inheritance even tho we all got the same.
There have been some good bits tho believe it or not

Three:

going to uni age 18 completely unprepared from a poor working class family. Had never socialised, never been to a club, or a pub. No life skills. Ended up hiding in my room and peeing in the sink to avoid people. My parents were so angry that I wanted to leave that I almost committed suicide. Thank goodness my mum came up to see for herself how bad I was and took me home.

age 23, my first relationship had ended, found myself back home, no direction, no idea how to get myself out it, no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Started drinking in my bedroom. I got a temp job and one day I realised I was whistling as I walked to work. That’s when I realised I was coming out the other end.

lockdown, new baby, new house, winter. Every day I woke up with the dread ahead of me of having absolutely nothing to do all day. DD hated the pram and the sling so a daily quick walk before she started screaming was all I had. Post natal anxiety, boredom. I pulled out so much of my hair I went bald.

I remind myself it ALWAYS gets better.

Now. DD is ASD and has been pulled down the trans route. I just want to scream.

Three times I can think of. I had a nervous breakdown in my late teens. It was the most terrifying experience. I genuinely believed I'd gone mad and would never recover. I had a miscarriage in my 20s. Devastated me.
Then I had cancer when my children were young and thought I'd leave them without a mother.

Reading these stories,it just shows the incredible power of human resilience! It truly is humbling. I have read them all, and thought, I couldn't cope with that! Mine,my ex H tried to kill me (poison) complicated divorce, homeless,2 young DKs (oldest had living in job)boss sacked me because he didn't want the embarrassment when it was in the papers. My lovely DM had just died at 64 (GP cock up in the hospital where I was nursing,so I left, went back to office work.) asked my late father for help,only child,he refused. 6 weeks after my mum dying,he informed me he had a girlfriend,he hoped I wasn't going to get divorced and cause a scandal,he didn't want "Jane" upset because he intended to marry her.i asked him if he would have preferred to be going to my funeral, and put the phone down on him.... first time in my life I had ever answered him back! I lost my house,CCJ, almost all my furniture (no storage) car,job, emergency accommodation,oldest DD sacked her own fault) I broke a big mirror, kept a large piece under the bed.... just in case!! Then my ex H attempted to take the kids away. He didn't want them,he wanted them to go into the care system. I was friends with a guy at work,his DF had just died, his wife had cheated multiple times (they had been separated some years) we became an item,had a baby,he didn't have any kids.... just coming up to our silver wedding anniversary.