DS 10 weeks won’t eat and inconsolable - help

[Pinkstuffs]

My DS is 10 weeks old, he is formula fed. I suspect he has reflux but have been reluctant to go down the medication route as advised by my health visitor, until/unless his weight gain slowed down. He is often unsettled after feeds, he screws his face up and straightens himself out in pain. He is sick a lot and not straight after eating. It is partly digested milk not just spit up.

He has been a bit unsettled all day, taking bottles fine this morning but now is refusing them, even though I’m sure he is hungry. He’s not had a feed since 4pm ish and that wasn’t a full bottle. He was born below the 2nd centile so is tiny anyway and I’m so worried he’s going to start falling more behind. At his last weigh in yesterday he had stopped gaining from the previous fortnight.

Does anyone have any advice on how to calm him down and encourage him to eat? Could it be another reason that I’m missing that he won’t take the feed? I’ve tried warming it, made a fresh bottle etc but we’re both sat in tears over it!

Im going to make a gp appointment tomorrow but any ideas on how to get him to eat/settle tonight?

Have you checked fingers and toes (and willy) for a hair tie? Does he have a temp (could be coming down with something?) Do you have a different bottle/nipple he can try?

I think he's old enough to have a dose of calpol to see if that helps.

Does he have horrible nappies? Could be CMPA rather than just reflux - ask the GP about it.

I'd assume he's feeling poorly, give a dose of calpol if appropriate and then offer milk again in 20-30 mins.

If he still won't take it, or can't have calpol, give 111 a ring?

Would you reconsider reflux medication? Reflux is really painful, so they will understandably be reluctant to drink. I really think you need to treat the reflux and they will be more settled, feed better and gain weight.

@Holymotherforkingshirtballs thats the plan, I have mentioned it to the gp at the 6 week check but she didn’t want to do anything as he was still gaining weight. Similar story from the health visitor! But he’s stopped gaining weight now so I will make an appointment tomorrow. It’s just tonight he’s really upset.

Will he sleep upright on you?
we ended up tummy sleeping my Dd as it stopped the acid pooling at the back of her throat, it just ran out onto her cot.

For tonight can only suggest trying to keep upright for a while after feeds. When you go to the GP you could ask about trying a thickener in the milk first and then adding in reflux meds later if thickening isn't enough. It can really make a difference.

A tummy tub used to settle ds whose reflux was awful...try a bucket bath

He’s normally a great sleeper and very calm as well which is another reason we haven’t gone to medication. The difficulty is just around feeding times!

His nappies have been quite explosive and not too frequent but we’ve been doing baby massage as well as mixing between powder and ready-made formula and this has really helped regulate him and reduce his trapped wind. He’s so difficult tonight though and I’m sure he must be starving!

Poor you, it’s so hard.

I introduced a dummy for my DD because I had read that the sucking can help with reflux. She didn’t love it straight away, but I do think it helped.

Could he be bloated or constipated? With DD we worked through so many different types of bottle - Mam gave her horrendous trapped wind, even though she loves mam dummies. Tommee Tippee were awful for her, but it’s now her bottle of choice.

The other thing that used to settle my DD, even though she was formula fed, was skin to skin and a suckle on my nipples. She didn’t get any milk (maybe a few ml? Literally almost nothing) but it seemed to calm her down. She would snuggle onto my chest as if about to breast feed and eventually settle enough that she would take a bottle.

I think it's time to push for help with the reflux – he's at risk of developing a feeding aversion because he'll learn that after the bottle comes pain.

The first line treatment is usually just a thickener, either carobel (bit like cornflour, but not from corn) or, as he's formula fed, a reflux formula, which is basically just the thickener already added to formula. For lots of babies that does the trick, and if he only seems to be in pain relatively shortly after feeds, I'd say you've got a good chance he'll be one of them.

My DS had CMPA as a baby and that comes with reflux. I was shocked at how medical professionals are so willing to allow babies to be in constant pain. Poor DS screamed in pain for months (and we had many doctor's appointments) until they gave him prescription formula and omeprazole. He was a different baby afterwards. You'll really have to push for the GP to take you seriously.

Aw my ds was like this as a baby I found that if I swaddled him and had him upright of my shoulder just gently rubbing circles on his back and gently patting he calmed down a lot . Rocking or jiggling him in any way made it worse .

i would definitely go back to the GP to get referral for possible CMPA. My DD was gaining weight no problem but had bad reflux, refused bottles and had some explosive nappies. It wasn’t until I started weaning that she had an immediate reaction so the doctor took our referral seriously.

I nannied a child who stopped breathing due to reflux (not while I had him). Please take the medication; your child is in pain.

With my dc I had to resort to dream feeds, I found he would take much more this way. We had horrendous reflux for a long time and weight concerns also. Is this possible for you to do?

Might be worth having a look in his mouth as well OP. It most likely is the reflux, however your post also reminded me of the time DD was distressed and refused to feed at around 3mo and I noticed white patches in her mouth which turned out to be oral thrush. Just worth a look to rule that out x

Seeing GP is a good idea.
For tonight, if he's still awake, try a deep bath with you in it too. Hold his head and shoulders and have it deep enough that his whole body is floating. Dim lighting. You take deep calming breaths. Try offering bottle in the bath or immediately when out wrapped up in a warmed big adult towel before getting dressed. This always worked when my babies were horribly unsettled and nothing else did.
Another thing that worked when they reached 4 month fussies was to feed whilst jiggling on your knee or bouncing on big birth ball. My son went through a few weeks where he literally would not drink unless being jiggled, surprisingly vigorously!

Is he showing signs of stress? You have mentioned several descriptors which indicate this which makes me think that he could be dairy intolerant. You can ask your GP for a prescription for Dairy free milks - it certainly wouldn't hurt to try an alternative.
One of our GCs is dairy intolerant and after trying several different milks eventually settled down and now at nearly 3 is happy to drink soya and oat milks. We hope that his intolerance will fade as he grows up but the HV and dietitians are introducing a milk ladder which tests the intolerance - not always very successfully but he can now cope with some products which have dairy added.
Do ask your HV or doctor for advice - it is so sad for you as a mother to have to see your baby in pain or just plain hungry.

Thanks for all for the replies. I ended up putting him in the carrier for a walk, then we had a bath and this calmed him down. He’s just had 3oz of formula and gone to sleep. He has a dummy which does calm him. He hates being held laying down after feeds and prefers face down on my tummy or upright in the sling.

I did wonder about CMPA especially as my DH doesn’t tolerate dairy but his nappies have improved lately and so has his wind so I thought maybe his digestive system has just developed more. It’s the fussiness at the bottle, pain after feeds, vomiting, hiccuping that make me think it’s reflux. But besides mealtimes he is a dream baby, he sleeps 10 - 5am no problem and he’s very chilled. Stories I’ve heard of babies with reflux are that they can’t settle at all.

CMPA was my first thought when reading your post, you described my DD for the dirsy 4 weeks of her life before I sat in the drs and refused to leave until she'd been seen. Luckily, a lovely dr who had a child with CMPA looked at the photos I'd taken of her poo's and I described her symptoms and she put a prescription through for milk. Within 2 weeks I had a different, happy, content baby who was gaining weight and thriving. X

He very much reminds me of babies I've known with CMPA. Will he settle in a sling? It holds them upright so their tummies feel better.

CMPA and reflux go hand in hand imo. The allergy damages their stomach, causing reflux, and then then nurse more to help the pain which causes more symptoms and so on.

https://www.pharmacy2u.co.uk/shop/products/gaviscon-infant-sachets-0001129?gclid=CjwKCAjwkJm0BhBxEiwAwT1AXNJIXWpS9z2YgDxR10GHb8dwUWMWLHVad_SmiDynBBAYLExwT765nhoCesUQAvD_BwE

Might be worth a try, along with some Neocate or Nutramigen which you can buy though it's horribly expensive! It might take a few weeks to see the full effect though.

My two were like this and it was a mixture of reflux and dairy intolerance. I hope you manage to get something sorted, as it wasn't easy getting special milk prescribed (though I'm talking 15&10 years ago! Probably not a thing now and available in supermarkets)

But can understand how worried and stressed you are. Fingers crossed you get sorted quickly.