DC is in year 9 of secondary school and DC2 will be joining from September. DC1 has had a lot of issues in the past surrounding attendance including anxiety, ebsa and general friendship problems but for the past 6 to 8 months I'd say, he has been quite settled and we seem to have turned a corner.
Since DC2 got a place at the school, DC1 has been making noise that we select another school because theres is 'no way he is going there'. I think its sunk in now that DC2 will be going there and is now absolutely triggered by it and says he will get bullied as older DC mock the YR 7 newcomers and they will all laugh at DC2 which will lead to him getting bullied also. I told him that's just bizarre and i highly doubt that will happen but he repeatedly tells me I don't understand and that's just how they are.
As a result, his anxiety levels have been escalating and he's been begging me to send DC2 to another school. I him that is not an option and everything will be fine but he's having none of it. They don't have a great relationship due to dc1s autism and general intolerance of dc2. He's extremely embarrassed of DC2 and I've no idea why. I feel stuck. I know the school refusal will restart in September. I was absent from work a lot the last few years (when he was in years 7 and 8 he missed a lot of school) and cant afford to do that again nor can I afford the fines. EVen emotionally, I just can't cope with going through that again. Talking to school seems pointless as they never take anything on board and instead parrot back to him whatever i tell them in confidence which then results in him kicking off with me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.