What do you do when you feel horrendous?

[Englishrose223]

I feel so down, so awful. Like nothing has any point to it. How can I make myself feel better?

No ‘only’ about it. Sometimes even 2 minutes feels insurmountable so well done for just getting out.

Doing something nice for someone else can help. Not necessarily anything big..... make your neighbour a cup of tea, say hi to a stranger, bake cakes for your kids.....

Can you get near some greenery on you next little walk @Englishrose223 ?

I'm so interested in the scientific findings of the effects of breathing in phytoncides . . . https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6589172/

If it doesn't work - nice walk in a wood, if it does work - result!

For me, it's being alone with nature (not easy in this overcrowded island I know, especially with the endless development). This week I've had to work in the centre of town. My home town is horrendously crowded, and the endless new estates, the traffic, etc, shredded my nerves. It also lowered my mood. Today, I had the day off and so drove as far as I could out into the countryside with my dog and just sat looking out over a field. I could feel my nervous system slowly settling back down – like a snowglobe that has been shaken up and then put back on the table.

I also find reading out loud incredibly therapeutic. Sounds odd I know, but it really works. I have my go-to books that never fail:

P. G. Wodehouse: Right Ho Jeeves
Patrick Fermor: A Time of Gifts
Evelyn Waugh: Decline and Fall
Robert Graves: Goodbye to all That
Oscar Wilde: Dorian Gray
Jane Austen: Pride and Prejudice

Those just happen to be my favourites. But it really doesn't matter which books you choose, so long as they cheer you up. I have read the Narnia books and Wind in the Willows out loud as well. I probably look like a f-ing nutcase, but I don't care. It has a very different effect to reading silently.

In that case, is there a horse sanctuary near you, like Redwings or HAPPA? Horse cuddles are good for the soul

I just go with it until it gradually lifts. And there have been times where it hasn't lifted for a long time. Cross stitch and running have both helped in the past.

Clean the bathroom. Vacuum house. Tidy a bit so there aren't piles of things making the place look a tip.
or, if I've already done that, I go out for a decent walk, then home, shower and fresh clothes then something nice but nutritious to eat.

Do you know why you feel that way? You'll get a lot of the typical advice like exercise, go outside, talk to people - but if you're autistic, for example, those might make things worse due to sensory overstimulation.

Things that help me sometimes:
Knitting or crocheting
Reading a cheesy romance novel (set at Christmas🎄)
Baking
Lying under my duvet watching a film or YouTube videos about something I'm obsessed with

But I'm similar to you in that I've been on antidepressants for years and still have severe depression. I'm aiming towards a very different life, one that suits me rather than the rest of humanity, which I think will help a lot.

Hope you don't feel like this for long ❤️

Exercise, read a good book, do some needlework, watch favourite tv shows

Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Does being in company give you a boost - or do you need time alone to recharge?

if the former, phone a friend and go for a walk / beer / chat
if the latter, get into bed / read a book / have a bath.

Actually, and this with out me in RL, at my worst the only thing I could do was to binge watch Law and Order SVU. Apparently it is a thing amongst depressed people! I still fall asleep to it.

If you liked horses, do you have any pets?

Do you have a pet? Patting a dog is known to increase serotonin.

Write a list of anything needing done (easy small jobs around the house maybe like washing the dishes, hoovering or putting a washing on.) Once you've done it, tick it off the list. This always makes me feel like I've accomplished something.

Do something you enjoy for yourself- read a book, Listen to music, take a bath/shower, do a puzzle?

Long term - invest in a lumie light/alarm, make sure to eat well (a lot of mood has to do with the gut) and try to exercise.

Put yourself first. You're important.

Look at the stars, sky or sea (if you can) if not the sky works.

The majesty of the space above, there has to be something looking back, marvel at how as you look up there are radio waves sending music across thin air, almost like magic if you don't get into the physics too much.

Read about, research interesting lives, people who care, people across the world who sacrifice their freedom to report the truth.

The fact that at some point one sperm amd one egg joined and made you you OP is wonderful.

Watch Brian Cox documentaries, his wonder of the enormous and pursuit of knowledge of the human race is infectious.

You are here OP. You have the opportunity to experience books, tv, radio, medicine. You live in a time and place as a human, no starvation, conflict, boredom and education that few have so far.

Just being able to read as a female is recent. Communicating with others online is a second in terms of human history.

This is how I pick myself up and not let the daily grind get to me.

You need sleep. And peace. A chat with a friend. Good good. Something nice like a bath.

Cry!

Go on a night out with friends

Rest.. proper rest. Sitting down and actively resting

Sleep. The best sleep you can manage. If not, then more rest.

Planning and doing a few jobs to make your surroundings nicer... wipe down the kitchen, put some washing away, tidy the hallway, brush up outside the front door.

Doing something trivial but mentally distracting e.g. word searches or reading a light novel

Being outdoors... in a peaceful a place as possible... Garden, park, wherever.

When you feel more energetic, commit some thinking time to identifying why you feel the way you do. And then working out what your options are to address it. This can take weeks.

Really really taking time to notice the good things... a bird singing, the smell of a honeysuckle as you walk past, a pretty soap bubble, two strangers sharing a hug. Tell yourself how lucky you are to witness these things, how you would have missed them if you'd not gone outside.

If you're worn down by people, remind yourself that this is really being alive... if you're caring for others, you really are at the heady heights of the good things that humans do.

Eat some fruit and vegetables, drink water, avoid caffeine and alcohol.

Make peace with being a human being, not a human doing.

Get absorbed in something.
I sew and find that really gets me in a zone where my mind relaxes beyond my hands and what they're doing.
Another trick I use is to go beachcombing. I search for pretty shells, sea glass and nice stones. I'm by the sea, but you could do the same in a park or wood. Look for seed heads, flowers with insects feeding on the nectar, different leaves. Take photos of details. Look at tiny things. Watch bumble Bees at work. See how many different types of butterflies you can spot on your walk.
Looking up and out at the sky and stars works for some, but it overwhelms me. I need to look down, at the earth I stand on, to anchor myself.

I put music on and tidy and clean, then I feel like I've achieved something.

Hope you feel better soon, it's rubbish isn't it?