How to cope with abortion grief

[Sunshine31lover]

looking for some support. I just had a surgical abortion at 13 weeks. During that whole time I had a mental battle on if it was best to keep it or not. I went back and forth with making termination appointments then canceling. The father of my child said he wanted nothing to do with it or me and was very emotionally abusive. This was my second abortion (1st was at 7 weeks with the pill) with this person. He begged to be back in my life after a yr of no contact and I gave in. I had sworn after the first abortion I’d never do it again! My own circumstances played a part too I had no job minimum support and my living environment is filthy. I felt guilty for wanting to keep it but I feel regret and shame now that it’s done. I’m 31 I don’t have any kids and I always longed to be a mother. I’m completely heartbroken I wanted to keep the baby soo bad but couldn’t fight pass my circumstances and the toxic father.

My heart goes out to you. It is very hard being a woman and being the one who has to make this decision.

can you get yourself to some talking therapy? A lot of areas have therapists that will give ‘low cost’ therapy - it is free or donate what you can afford.

You have the knowledge of what you want in life which is wonderful. Keep those pictures in your mind every day, and it will help you keep steering towards it. I wish you all the best x

It sounds like you made a really brave and selfless choice. You knew that it wasn't the right situation to bring a baby into and you put that need first rather than your own desire to have the baby. Most people don't.
It sounds agonising to go through and my heart goes out to you but I hope the thought that you did a good and selfless thing can bring you comfort.

Sorry you’re going through this. You could try any free mental health services you can get access to, and focus on feeling better and improving your overall situation.

your ex sounds like very bad news: have no further contact with him!