Huge crush on on co worker

[UserNameOfShame]

Name changed for this as I'm so embarrassed and have identifying info in previous posts.

As the title suggests I have a massive crush on a co worker and I need some advice as to how to get over it.

It's ridiculous, we are both married, I don't think he is interested in the slightest, I have no intention on acting on it but i just cannot get him out my head. It started at the christmas party when we spent ages chatting and kind of bonded, I thought it would be a flash in the pan, but here we are 7 months later and my feelings are getting stronger.

We work very closely together, in the office side by side most of the week, and when WFH we have several meetings and calls each day, so I can't escape him.

He's funny, he laughs at my jokes, we get on so well (so do the rest of the team to be fair, we are very close knit)

Short of leaving my job, which I don't want to do, I love it and the team, what the bloody he'll do I do to get over this?

And also, do you think he is likely to know? I'm worried he can read my thoughts or see it in my face when I look at him. I would be mortified if I thought he knew.

For full disclosure, my marriage is fine. Not great, I'm feeling the monotony of life with young kids, a bit bored and stuck in a rut and sex is a rare event these days. Could be part of the reason for the crush I suppose.

Yes I am aware I sound like a teenager. I'm in my 40s.

Use these feelings you have for your colleague and rekindle your sex life with your husband. You're being blinded by fantasy so you might as well put it to good use.

OP I feel you! I had this for a coworker intermittently for years. I’d go through periods of intense crushing on him to the extent I’d fantasise about us being together, then be able to reverse out of it.

I’d think of him while sleeping with my DH, and that sex was great because I was so enthusiastic.

I’d get over it for periods by thinking of him doing gross things.

I split with my H due to his infidelity and coworker was very supportive. My feelings for him evaporated when he started talking about his wife and children because now the thought of breaking up a family made me feel nauseous.

Now I realise that while I thought my marriage was fine, it wasn’t. If was happy, I wouldn’t have had these feelings. I’m in a new relationship now and I only have eyes for him.

I’d get some counselling OP and start to work on your marriage. Best of luck.

Personally I enjoy having a crush and feeling those feelings. It’s enjoyable to find someone attractive, and perfectly natural. But I’m not going to do anything about it. It generally goes away after several weeks.

Name changed.

In my experience it wears off after a couple of years. Those years were excruciating.
Both married and in 50s. I have reason to believe it was mutual.

Oh definitely, I think we are! ☺️

Glad to hear that you are ok and you can totally understand how these things arise, it is not an easy situation to navigate at all.

Good response OP, enjoy your holiday and reset as you say.

@CosFuckThatGuy Oh I couldn't agree with you more on everything you've written

Achieved my dream of becoming a cautionary tale 😆😆😆

😂

"Achieved my dream of becoming a cautionary tale 😆😆😆"

@CosFuckThatGuy

Haha I became that a long time ago!!!

This is where I was at first. It was fun and enjoyable. It's been 7 months now though. It's no longer enjoyable, it's painful.

And I broke my resolve from yesterday straight away and laughed like a freaking idiot at one of his stupid jokes today. Everyone on the call was laughing, to fair, but then stopped and stared at me as I continued to laugh like a fool. God I'm such a knob.

This happened to a good friend of mine. She was married and developed feelings for another coworker. It was only when she moved teams, that she was able to get over the crush.
It's going to be really hard for you to get over him if you work so closely to him. Like others said, distance yourself, don't flirt, never ever go drinking with him, avoid being alone. Start flirting with your own husband, make time to be together, remember why you fell in love with him etc.

Your crush is just a fantasy and realistically, he's not as amazing as you think he is.

This happened to me, we worked together, both of us are married, i didnt have the foggiest how she felt, until she made it clear, unfortunately both our marriages wasn't in a great place, and it felt amazing to be 'seen' again, i unfortunately didn't say anything to stop her advances.