Leaving nursery and starting reception? How to manage this when you both work?

[Canadian876]

First child question. Our child starts reception in mid-September with staggered days. We are trying to work out how to manage around work and thinking about transition from nursery.

I'm a bit worried as child is nervous about starting school. Is it a good idea to take annual leave and give him a couple of days at home before his first school day (a Wednesday) rather than have him leave nursery one day and immediately start school the next? Is that too antibody or will a couple of days at home be more confusing? (I'll also have to take leave to be there for lunchtime pick up for the first few days).

Basically I'm trying to work out the best way to manage leaving nursery and starting school that supports our child emotionally, but factoring in that we still have jobs.

What do other people do?

When DS moved from nursery to the pre-school attached to his school we took 2 weeks off in-between to give him a break and to get him used to the change. Beware of going part time or staggering starts - most kids I know whose parents did this really struggled to settle in.

You could take unpaid parental leave for a few weeks? You have the legal right to take up to 4 weeks per yr up to a max of 18 weeks before your child turns 18.

I took 3 weeks PTL when each Dc started reception- because they had 3 weeks of part time school not because they were anxious.

It just meant I wasn't juggling school runs and work and could focus on them for a bit!

Yes do have a look at the unpaid parental leave option, if your finances will allow it. It gives the option for some additional time off work, although they can technically refuse. You have a total of 18 weeks to use, per child, with a max of 4 in any one academic year.

I am frustrated by the half days too as my kid has been in nursery full time and is super ready for school. I’m not going to insist they take her though as she would be one of probably only one or two. She would end up having lunch alone and I worry it would actually be less beneficial, as completely frustrating as it is. Can you ask work for some flexible options over that period? Since Covid many types of work have been able to be more flexible (e.g. wfh around the kids or split your hours differently and work in the evenings). That might limit the amount of AL or unpaid leave you end up taking.

I think starting school is an anxious time for parents too. The little ones DO adapt really quickly. The first day, particularly the first full day, I’d actually be tempted to take a day off work FOR YOU. It’s big emotions for parents too so maybe consider going for a nice lunch/massage/stay at home and read a book/park/museum/gym/run whatever it is that you do to relax and recharge. You got this!

@Parker231 the fact is this is what every school in the UK I have worked in does. The teachers are doing what will best help the children settle into school smoothly. You are correct about legal rights but starting school full time from day one may not be best for some little ones. Unfortunately many parents just see school as childcare these days and don't understand that teachers are more concerned about meeting children's needs than providing daycare.

I was more concerned about my DC’s and for them it was best to attend full time from day one - as did about half their classmates. Other parents made their own decisions.
School isn’t childcare but sometimes schools need to understand better working parents.

Ive given mine a week off between nursery and school, purely to have the end for one and a start for the other.
But it’s not easy at all to juggle. We moved and so have a different set up for Sept than we did with my first, but it took 3 weeks for him to do a first day! Depends what you do for work, but we juggled days so someone started early/other finished late and an hour or so with a snack and the telly isn’t the end of the world when they need to decompress from a new situation x

We just did full days from the start. Couldn't be dealing with having to sort leave for half days for weeks. Most parents did the same as most work full time.

we have inset day mon/tues and half days for 1.5 week. I’m taking annual leave the inset days and then working reduced hours during the half days and mostly from home so I can cut out travel time. I know a lot of people who are asking family to help out over those couple of weeks but that’s not an option for me.

with the nursery situation I would check with them what their policy is… where mine are they can’t stay past the 31st August. If it is possible then it’s most likely unfunded as their 30 free hours will have ended. But I think it would be a good idea to have at least one day between finishing nursery and starting school to get them prepped for it

My son finishes his nursery on 25th July (at the school) will have the summer in summer camp a couple of days a week / with my mum whilst I work then will be doing half days on the 5th/6th September so I will take al Monday 2nd , he’s going to a friend Tuesday 3rd, his dad is taking al Wednesday 4th and then my mum is having him for the morning of the Thursday (his first day) and I will meet them at the school at lunch time when he needs dropping off and Friday il have him whilst I’m wfh and pop out to take him at lunch time, then he’ll be full time from the week after thank god!

Hi,
This is me.. literally.
I spoke to the school about my concerns regarding this as I didn’t want to dump and run in September. I needed to know he was happy when I left and I have to say the school have been great! We’ve already had 2 taster days, one was an hour - I stayed as long as he needed me but I could see he was more than happy playing with his new friends 10 mins later so I left and collected 50 mins later. He cried as he didn’t want to come home!
The second time, a week later he did a full morning - I collected just before lunch and he was so excited. He calls it big school, his words and then we were invited to sports day last week and they put him on a little team with the other reception kids. It was so good, he’s excited for September and I feel he is happy, knows the surroundings and teachers now so September doesn’t feel so harsh on either of us. I know we’re heading to the end of term now but maybe speak to the school and see if you can get a few hours now allowing him to potentially settle?…

It is really tricky, we had quite a long settling in period and came back from holiday a few days earlier so he actually went back to his nursery for a couple of days before then starting school the next day, and through the rest of the (two week!) gradual settling in we did a combo of half days, grandparents and a couple more afternoons back at his old nursery. It wasn’t ideal but we didn’t really have a choice. I would say that being around on the days he has school is more important than those couple of days before - although if one of you has the leave, it is a nice opportunity to have a nice day out when most kids are at school. My DH took our DS to legoland which was a nice treat!