Help with unruly 2 year old

[FellowshipOfTheBing]

Really would appreciate some advice and ideas to try with my 2.5 year old.

He is the youngest of two and (as I'm learning!) I understand this is pretty common with the second child!

DS2 has always been confident, outgoing and with bags of personality. He's always pushed boundaries and me and DH have been consistent with the same approach we used with DS1...but it's not working!

DS1 gets so upset when being told off but DS2 just doesn't seem bothered at all!

The last week or so he's thrown toys at walls, hit his older brother, bitten my DH (seemingly from over excitement rather than anger?). He is generally a happy boy and doesn't tend to through tantrums, he just misbehaves and destroys things

Each time we've either taken away the toy (if used as a weapon) or put him on a time out.

We calmly talk him through why what he did wasn't acceptable and encourage him apologise but he does so without any meaning, shrugs it off and then does it again. Having toys taken away and time out does upset him but he gets over it quickly, will laugh afterwards about it and almost instantly repeat it

We have absolutely no concerns on SEN and he's meeting milestones etc. He's otherwise an affectionate boy who loves cuddles with me, can be overly attached and will say 'sorry' unprompted for a myriad of smaller things (accidentally bumping into someone etc) but just doesn't seem to feel the 'weight' of his hitting etc being wrong

Any help appreciated!

My 2 year old (and 3 months) is exactly as you r described.. unruly! He is destructive, throws things, bites and hits, but is also very affectionate and cuddly and a very happy boy! He's the first child though. I don't have any advice as I'm struggling with it myself but just wanted to say I'm in exactly the same boat!

Sounds a pretty standard 2 yr old to me !
Some are placid and easy going. Many aren't! And two year olds don't really feel remorse; they are not developmentally capable of empathy, so we can teach them to say sorry, but they really won't FEEL it .

4 kids and one grandchild here. I had two placid easy going children, and two fire crackers! Same parents and same parenting.

And the grandchild is a fire cracker, but his Mum was one of my easy ones! They just have their own personalities and you just need to stay consistent.
Caveat: some do need a bit less 'gentle parenting' than others I rarely raise my voice, but if i do DGS knows to STOP!

have you got my 2yo 😂 he just turned 2 but is exactly as your post describes. right down to the biting his dad but looks like over excitement. he almost looks like cats do when they get a bit mental and their eyes go big and dark 🤣

we just try and stick to consistent boundaries firmly and clearly.

Thanks @gentlemum and @lochmaree and solidarity to you both!

I think I'm just thrown as my DS1 was (and is) a very calm, sensitive boy who wouldn't say boo to a goose and only needed the slight threat of being told off and he'd lick into shape!!

My youngest by comparison is wild!

I'm hoping this is just a phase and us being consistent will eventually kick in

I used to think it was frustration at not being able to communicate but his speaking and understanding is pretty good-he just doesn't seem to give a shit (and has an evil cackle which makes us laugh which I know doesn't help!)

Thanks @Sonolanona . You're right and I guess I don't expect him to feel remorse but my youngest used to get upset at the thought of anyone being sad so I'm just not used to such sass!

It's exhausting! My DH and I said we needed a weekend to get over the weekend! dS2 is happy doing puzzles, playing board games or going out on his bike but DS1 still needs constant supervision-yesterday I found him smearing sudacream over the lounge carpet. Gah!

My eldest did that when she was a toddler!!!
Have to say, it never did look the same after that ...😂
( She is now a respectable doctor!...but dear GOD she was hard work as a child!)

Hi any updates please

Sounds like a normal 2 year old , just had my grandaughter to stay for a week she did most of what you just said including biting her mum but to be fair she was very shocked when she did it and her mum too!
She also have the tantrums but her mum was the same massive ones that are legendary in our family haha
We use distract distract distract,I say … tell you what why don’t we x or y..
I don’t go over stuff they have done wrong they are really too little to fully understand but praise good behaviour even if I just make it up! Your sooo good at x or y ! It usually helps, but not always , she is non stop go go go and very determined her mum was the exact same , hard work so you have my sympathy!
I just remove stuff and distract sometimes lift her if it’s for their own safety I say you’ll get a sore boo boo if you .. throw that … bang your head … run in the street etc etc etc then she will then throw herself about but we bring out a fav book or toy and “ look “ at it Or if outside I often “ spot “ a funny dog an aeroplane etc etc it might have just gone “ round the corner” and disappeared but it helps distract .Blank face for the manic laughing and zero reaction from you might help we don’t have that but we do have the obsession with sudocream it gets everywhere!
We got through it and I never had any issues as a teenager she was very sensible and calm think she got all the wild child out by then!