Making new friends as an adult

[Whatsgoinon1]

When did you last make a new friend as an adult and where did you meet?

I have a handful of friends I speak to regularly but hard to see them as often as I’d like due to different life stages. They all have young kids where I had my daughter early and she is now an older teen so I have much more flexibility and free time than they do.

Last set of new friends were work colleagues but after having issues with a new manager at work, I went off sick and left and never heard from them again which was a bit gutting as I thought we were close and spent time with a few of them outside of work regularly. So this has kind of put me off forming friendships in the workplace.

I’d love to find new people more at my life stage but where the hell do you meet new people as an adult?

Looked at clubs in my area but hardly anything apart from yoga/pilates which I can’t imagine being great for striking up a conversation. I’m not much into fitness either as a common interest. Everyone at the gym always has their earphones in too and can’t even think of a time anyone’s ever made eye contact with me let only looked like they’d want to talk!

Any ideas?

18 months ago when I started a new job

Pickleball! Download the pickleplay app, there's bound to be a club near you. Great fun, great people and doesn't take much sporting ability.

I’ve made my most recent friends through volunteering at the local cat rescue and joining the Women’s Rights Network.

I have made more new friends in the last four years as an adult than any time before. I joined a book group and a fund raising charity. I have also made really good friends with a couple of neighbours.

A year ago in a hiking group, before that almost two years ago through volunteering. The hiking group mate feels like someone I have known all my life. Best was I was asked the time on a bus 24 years ago. Turned out we worked on the same campus. He and I chatted on bus over weeks as got the same one and then had couples nights out with our partners. We were all newly weds. They divorced but she remains one of my closest friends.

I can chat to anyone, DH is mystified but people around 90% of the time speak to me first. My Mum and two of my sisters are the same, other two sisters don’t have what by some could be seen as a gift but reckon some would see as a curse.

Parkrun

School gate mums and through hobbies.

I think often it's just luck and being outgoing (something I have to work on 😂). I have a friend who I met when she picked up something I'd put on Freecycle. But she is the type of person who can make friends with anyone, anywhere. I try to channel her energy 😆

I have young kids so bit of a different situation as you but I make friends at toddler groups, kids birthday parties, sometimes when I sell things on Facebook we get chatting, that's happened a few times. There's the peanut app for mums. I think if you're just open and chatty you can make friends literally anywhere you go! ❤️ just don't over think it. Chat to anyone and everyone and if you realising really hitting it off, maybe after bumping into same person couple times just ask if they have Facebook/instagram or whatever you have or link on to something you have chatted about like 'we should go there sometime!"

I think if someone is chatting happily with you it's usually sign that they're fully open to new friendship so probably just as keen as you

Looked at clubs in my area but hardly anything apart from yoga/pilates which I can’t imagine being great for striking up a conversation. I’m not much into fitness either as a common interest. Everyone at the gym always has their earphones in too and can’t even think of a time anyone’s ever made eye contact with me let only looked like they’d want to talk!

Language classes. You'll spend most of the time talking to the other people.

Or a book club / literature class, that's chatty.

Or any non-sport class where you're interested enough in the subject to want to discuss it!

Oops missed a bit. If you're looking for classes and your local authority doesn't have an adult education programme then try local colleges for "leisure courses" or the WEA. Their autumn courses should be on their website from Wednesday this week.

www.wea.org.uk

Adult education/leisure courses tend to run in terms of 6-10 weeks. Some might be a one-off that runs for a single term, but some might run every term and continue on from where the previous term left off.

If you pick subjects that have continuation courses so you're with the same group of people doing something you enjoy for a longer period than just 6/10 weeks then even if it doesn't translate into friendships it can give you some of the same sense of being connected to others.

I'm doing an AAT qualification at evening class and made a friend there.

Evening classes, the type you're working with people like learning a new language as recommended above. Counselling courses are really good for making new friends - you can do a 10 week introductory course or jump into a level 3 course one evening a week for a year.

There aren't any evening classes round here.

I used to do languages years ago at evening classes, but nowhere does them near me.

I can be chatty in public, at supermarket checkouts etc but people look at me like “bog off” 😂

I wish I liked hiking - I’m a smoker and cardio fitness is terrible! I know that my sister met a lot of people through a hiking club. I should maybe give it a try!

Will probably need to look further afield for evening classes as couldn’t see anything near by - that was one of my first ports of call. Would definitely be up for a language course even if I didn’t meet anyone there

I made some friends at a local swimming group and I’m very shy