Broody with an 8 month old, am I crazy?!

[ShyCrab]

Just that really. DD is 8 months and up until a few weeks ago felt keenly that I would like to wait until she was 2/3 before we had another, but I can’t shake my broodiness. There’s 18 months between my sister and I and we’ve always been such good pals.
However I’ve found having a baby tough going, she still doesn’t sleep well and we don’t have much family support. Am I totally crazy to contemplate this?
I keep reminding myself that I did hate being pregnant and had horrible HG up until 20 weeks, which really does put me off. I’d also feel so guilty not to give my full attention to my DD being knackered and pregnant.
Does anyone have any experiences to share? I really don’t know if I’m tough enough to cope with an baby and a toddler!

We figured we were tired already so might as well crack on with the next one!

I've just had my 5th 48 hours ago and it wasn't an easy labour yet I'm intensely broody already I CANNOT have 6 kids that's insane. I have literally just given birth yet I'm like Hmmm. Would it be so bad. I know how you feel. Hoping this feeling goes though soon for me.
My eldest two are 18 months apart and now my youngest two are and it is lovely I won't lie to you. Hard though but I do love being a mum.

By the time my first was 8 months old, I was 4 months pregnant On purpose, as I wanted two very close in age.

However the third pregnancy, (when my second was 3 months old) was a bit of a shock....! Three under 2.5! It was great, tiring but great, and I went on to have a fourth 3 years later.

I have never regretted it :) Mind you four teens all at once was a bit bonkers at times!

I feel like this too. Part of me thinks if we wait until DD is sleeping better (ha ha) when she’s 2/3 it’ll be traumatic to go back to the newborn phase.

I have 18m between my last 2. It honestly wasn't too bad.

Congratulations on your baby 💐 I think we’ll be stopping at 2 but I admire you, wow!

I have just done some counting.
The second was conceived when the first was 9 months old
The third was conceived when the second was 7 months old
The fourth was conceived when the third was a year old.

We had a few tiring years, but it is great now.

Yes.

lol, I was literally saying to sil earlier today that I would now always advise against a small gap! Dd2 is nearly 29 months, ds just turned 1. It's been so hard, it's still so hard though slightly easier than the first 9 months or so. I have very clingy children that breastfeed and cosleep which has made it so tough on me and I've been seriously concerned about my mental health at various points during the past year.

Obviously it's a personal choice, and it really depends of the temperament of the children, their habits etc. as well as how much support you have.

I can see that at some point the age gap will have some nice benefits (though I don't see a significant difference in this with a slightly bigger gap), but overall I just can't encourage it knowing how it's been for me personally! A little longer won't make much difference to the children, but it (probably) will for you. I'd say a minimum of 2 years. Wishing you the best either way 😊

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I do worry with this as my DD is still breastfeeding and is starting to get clingy with me too. It’s lovely and I adore her, but I do worry how you can split yourself between a tiny baby and a toddler. Something to think about.

No right or wrong answer!

Personally, I could not even consider another child until my eldest was about 3, so by the time 2nd child was born we have a 4 & a half year age gap. Worked beautifully for us.

I have a friend who had 4 under 4, each child is literally 10-15 month age gap. I thought she was crazy, but it worked for her.

Only you know what's right! Have fun trying & see what happens lol

I wouldn’t. I do understand those broody feelings but 7/8/9 months is a nice age. Sleep can still be a problem but they are independent enough to be sitting and maybe crawling a bit, can entertain themselves a bit with toys but are also happy to watch the world go by a bit.

This does change at around 10 months and by the time they are 15 months or so they are firmly a toddler and aren’t portable in the same way they were as a baby. Adding pregnancy (especially a difficult pregnancy ) to that mix is tough. Then a newborn when your first isn’t sleeping isn’t wise IMO. If children tag team you can end up literally getting no sleep.

Wait a year or so. Get no 1 settled into a nice nursery a couple of days a week and have a 2.5/3 year age gap, keep the eldest in nursery for a couple of days and enjoy breathing with the little one then. It’s so so much easier.

Wanted two close together so my daughter was born a day before my son’s first birthday! Don’t overthink it, just do it!

I was 41 with no family support but well worth it, no regrets

I was pregnant with DC2 when DC1 was 10 months old. Best thing ever.

I would love another. I so feel the pull of broodiness. We just cannot afford it, so I am finished. I still cannot quite accept it though!

Yes! wait.

@ShyCrab a toddler and a non mobile baby is comparatively easy - baby goes in the sling and you feed on the move. The only thing really that I could do was swimming. But, a toddler and a crawling baby is a whole new level of fresh hell. It's very hard to explain to a two year old that a eight month old baby who trashes and grabs everything can't be hit or kicked. It's getting easier now, but we had a very hard six months.

Assuming you actually want a second child then crack on.

We had enormous difficulties conceiving our first child and then I had an emergency C-section. My doctor advised me to wait a year before getting pregnant again but then just get on with it. My second was conceived on the first cycle trying, just after my son's first birthday. The small age gap is lovely.

In many ways I think it's easier to just push through the years of broken nights and nappies than it is to go back to not having to deal with those things temporarily and then start all over again.

The only thing you might need to consider is whether you'll need to have two children in nursery at the same time and if so whether you can afford to pay for that.

I am still broody after my second, but I know that realistically we can't handle a third so we're stopping at two. So you need to be able to judge whether you're broody and you actually want and can manage another child, or whether you're just broody.

Thanks everyone for the responses, it’s interesting to have different perspectives. I think I’ll see how I feel in 6/9 months time. I realise that sometimes it takes longer to conceive a second child but a couple of my friends went on this basis and fell pregnant instantly!

I think it's a hormonal thing? We were in no hurry to have DC1 and waited a few years after we got married.

But once he arrived and I'd recovered I couldn't stop thinking about number 2 despite him being a terrible sleeper.

There's a 20 month age gap - it was pretty hard when they were little but really just means they've grown up together as a duo.

the urge for another did strike again after DC2 so be warned!

My dd had 15 months between 1 and 2. Hard work at first but they (G/B) were so soon best friends, and at 9 and 8 are still very close and enjoy a lot of the same activities.

There's 19 months between my two, and I wouldn't change it for the world. They are super close and adore each other. Having 2 under 2 was tough though, even though the eldest is a good sleeper. I have friends and family with younger babies and I'm so glad that phase of my life is over and done with!