My DS are both neurodivergent. Eldest has had the same two best friends since reception but they are very intense friendships and he’s not interested in any other DC when either are around. He hasn’t made any other friends in school as a result. It’s not the healthiest dynamic otherwise I would leave him to it.
He does loads of out of school activities and has made one close friend there too. This seems to be his pattern, he’s got little interest in being part of a group and is drawn to certain children, 1-2 maximum.
I’ve seen other children try and be friendly with him but if his best friends are there he almost blanks them as he’s just focussed on them. I’ve explained that this isn’t nice, that others will think he won’t like them until I’m blue in the face but it doesn’t help. He’s almost 10 and will be going to high school September next year.
Youngest DS is really particular about who he’s friends with, and gets really shouty and overexcited when he’s trying to “impress” someone. He is also in an unhealthy dynamic of equally excitable boys who all seem to upset each other at every play time.
Are there any tips anyone in a similar position could share? I’ve tried a few books, “What makes a good friend” etc and try role play with their toys.