Bath temperature anxiety. This isn’t normal is it…

[ParaParaParaphrase]

I think I’ve been fooling myself that I have control
over my anxiety but I think this highlights that maybe I don’t?

Ran a bath for 9 year old. Tested on elbow. Felt fine. Child stood in. Said it felt a bit hot so I ran some more cold. Child said it was fine and sat down happily. 30 minutes later child calls to get out. I always stay upstairs with door open and call to ask if they are ok every few minutes. Go to wash hair and I think bath is hot. Child is very pale skinned- face and skin are pink. Child maintains its not too hot. Now I’m in a blind panic. Trying not to obsessively ask child if they are ok. Child is ok. Mother is not ok. This is definitely anxiety isn’t it. Or do I have a reason to worry. Water definitely felt hot. Child definitely pink. I really hate this feeling of rising panic taking over.

Thank you everyone. I think I manage to mask so much that I convince myself. People that know me in real life would be so shocked to find out that this is what I’m really like.

If my husband runs a bath for the kids he will dip his hand in for a second and say it's fine. Puts child in and the water is way too hot.
I run the bath, place my hand/arm in for 5 seconds to see how warm it is.
Also if child says it's ok, it's ok.

OP your child will be picking up on your anxiety. Watching you elbow check water. Answering 'I'm fine' when u check on them every few minutes in the bath. Not being able to drive around.

If you were asthmatic you'd have an inhaler. Diabetic you'd have insulin. Meds can change your life. CBT might help too. You need to do something to change this. And I mean that with kindness.

I couldn't live with that level of anxiety. Any medication would be better than that. I hope you get help OP.

Really not normal. If you think your child is not picking up on your anxiety, you’re wrong. You need to get help. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I think you're kidding yourself, honestly.

Anxiety meds changed my life. I was anxious about taking them too and put them off. But I’m so glad I don’t have to live like that anymore Andy kids don’t have to live with me like that too.

It does sound like you have pretty bad anxiety op!

Definitely speak to your GP. I wasn’t keen to go on any anti anxiety meds or anti depressants either and my gp was very supportive.
They’ll likely refer you for cbt (cognitive behavioural therapy if you’re not familiar) first of all and then discuss meds / further counselling after that depending on how that helps you.
And if you do want to consider managing your anxiety with medication further down the line they’ll be able to discuss any worries you have about it as well.

You’re deluding yourself if you think your child isn’t picking up on your anxiety. You’re calling out to her every few minutes and you won’t let her close the door when she’s in the bath. She’s nine years old. She doesn’t need you to run her bath for her and test her bath water, she doesn’t need you to check on her all the time and she does need/deserve some privacy. Your daughter might not recognise this as anxiety but it will definitely be affecting her. Apart from anything else, you’re babying her a lot and you’re also implying, by questioning her about the water, that she doesn’t know her own mind. It’s like you don’t trust her to have the sense to step out of a bath that’s too hot, or to know what is or isn’t comfortable.

9 YEARS old? Not 9 months old? DS10 runs his own baths at whatever temperature he likes and he cracks on with it.

Thanks all. You have motivated me to self-refer to our local NHS CBT group. Appointment in 1 week. Will go from there.

Your kid definitely knows you're anxious if you're asking them if they're ok every few minutes!

Let the 9 year old run her own bath for goodness sake. You need to get help before your child becomes as you are

Great news. Well done! Hopefully they should help you :) good luck!

Great hope it helps