After school/bedtime routine

[daisypup]

My 6 and 8 year olds bedtime routines have become later and later due to them struggling to sleep and becoming panicked if we put them to bed earlier. But it's exhausting having them around all evening, I don't know what to do with them. Would be interested to see other people's general routines?

A typical school day for us is

3.30-5 play/park/homework
5-5.30 tv (while I cook)
5.30-7 eat and play
7-7.45 get ready for bed/have bath
7.45-8 lights go off, curtains drawn and 6 year old watches telly with toast for 15 minutes
8-8.15 8year old watches telly with toast
8-8.30 6 year old brushes teeth and then has story time in bed
8.15-9 games and quiet time with 8 year old
9 - 9.30 8 year old brushed teeth and story time in bed
9 onwards both children lay awake in bed, 8 year old reads, 6 year old is asleep around 9.30 and 8 year old is asleep at 10 -10.30 but on a bad night it will be much later

Both children get up at around 7 of their own accord.
8 year old is increasingly worried about bedtime and getting to sleep as they don't get sleepy.

Would be great to see what others do

They may just not need much sleep, mines always been on the lower end of the range. If you google sleep needs by age that may help. Perhaps try to send them up a little later. I know its shit, you just want some child free downtime.

I don't imagine the TV is helping their sleep. The blue light messes up circadian rhythms. Can you switch that out for audiobooks perhaps?

Yeah that's what I'm starting to think I'm not sure what to do with them for so long in the evening though, there's only so many board games I can play before I go mad!

Too much tv, screens emit blue light and I’d be making sure there were no screens 90 mins before you want them to sleep.
you also need to bring the bedtime back gradually.
same with eating why are they having toast before bed when they ate at normal dinner time? Though warm milk and banana would be better to induce sleep.
id remove play and offer independent reading instead.they are very late bedtimes as well, probably overtired.
what are they like in the mornings and what time do they get up?

What if you just ate later? Mine watch tv, play, have friends over, we go out and do things after school, any activities they have on. We have dinner 7-8pm depending on the day. Up for bath around 8-8:30, then usually asleep by 9:30-10:30 (the late one is my 11 year old but she reads in her room so barely see her).

It means we make the most of the pre-dinner hours doing stuff. Then it’s dinner and getting ready for bed. There’s no post-dinner entertainment to be done. They aren’t to be earlier (I don’t think these bedtimes are particularly late), but there isn’t so much ‘doing’ in the evening and no extra snacking or screen time.

I would give them a snack after school, yoghurt, one slice toast, banana and then dinner at 6.30-7, ideally as a family dinner.

That excludes the need to eat before bed. Just do bath or better a short shower and good night story.

No TVor other screen, that's known not to be good for sleeping. If the older one likes to read just let him one or two more chapters after you read to him.

We ate as a family at 7pm as DD was in after school care until 6pm and she just had a shower and we read to her, light out was 8.30pm the latest.

I have younger children so this is based on my own experience as a child. We usually ate later at around 6:30-7. There was no TV or snacks after tea - just bath and books then bed.

I would eat later so there is no need for the toast and the wait to brush teeth, and swap out the TV for audiobooks or real books. Meditation or sleepy time apps might be helpful to relax them if they are struggling with anxiety about bed.

Cut out the tele.

You don't need to facilitate playing games, they can play together/independently.

Eating later would cut out the snack before bed and mean an earlier bed time which hopefully would mean more sleep.

They're so close in age that bedtime can be the same time for both. Get them doing the same thing at the same time. None of this tag team stuff.
A toto box (or similar) might help them have something to fall asleep to.

DD9 and 11. Dinner 530ish, after activities, homework/bath/TV/games after dinner. 645pm DD9 goes upstairs, teeth and PJs, 7-730 reading in bed, DD11 15mins behind, then DD9 can have audiobook until 745, DD9 until 8pm, in the dark. Wakeup 7am.
If they ever struggle to sleep, they are walked back to bed with no talking, and asked just to lie quietly, we tell them we don't expect them to go to sleep but put some white noise on. That usually works.
Routine even at weekend, except for special events or scouts which goes on (far too late) until 9pm.

Mine are a similar age, our routine:
After school club til 4.30
Get home, do reading etc.
They then either help prep dinner, chat to us, watch tv, play together etc
Eat dinner 5.30-6.00
After dinner we might watch more tv together or play games or they play together again
Upto bed at 7.15ish, story, then into bed and they are generally asleep by 8.

We have a couple of nights with clubs and stuff so it varies on those nights.

They also shower in the mornings generally

Oh and they listen to either music or audiobooks while they fall asleep.

The anxiety around sleep is going to causing a whole extra layer of faffing and talking and soothing and that all takes time at the moment. Different boats and all that.

We have older ones but a lot of the anxiety stuff still going on. DH and I have accepted they'll be up past 10pm, but we've reclaimed the early evening for ourselves. DC tend to take themselves off to read/game about 7pm so DH and I sit down with a film together for an hour or so. It's made a big difference. Maybe a bit ambitious with a 6 year old but my point is maybe there's another way.

How much physical activity are your kids getting after school. Are they playing outside or in the house.

My youngest finish nursery at 11.45. My eldest at 3.15. I do

3.30 snack
4 -4.30 Homework/reading (5 year old can read independently)
4.30 - 5 tablets to do reading eggs or Mathseed while I cook.
5-6 dinner and radio ( the eat so slowly)
6-7 outdoor play ( in the summer we play out late in the winter we play out straight after school)
7-7.30 bath time
7.30-8 bedtime stories or tonnie box
Little one is normally asleep by 7.45
Older one by 8.15

My eldest struggles with going to bed, always has. We've found audio books really good for her. She has an mp4 player with audible.

I heard somewhere it's not good to eat within 2hrs of going to bed.

Mine are a very similar age (7 and 5). Our routine is:

3.30pm - 4pm home from school, snack when they get home (usually toast, fruit and yoghurt or cheese and crackers).

4pm-5.30pm they play, or chill and watch TV. Whatever they want to do really while I'll prep dinner.

5.30pm is a family dinner. Normally all done, washed up etc by 6.30pm so they have some free time but no more TV. They do puzzles, or play, or have bath time.

7pm up to bed. Teeth, PJs etc and in their bedrooms for 7.30pm. DD1 aged 7 tends to read in her room until 8/8.30pm. DD2 tends to go straight to sleep.

There's no set "lights out" time and no pressure to go to sleep but they know from 7.30pm it is quiet time in their rooms resting, reading or playing with their teddies.

My 7 year old :
5.20-5.40 ISH dinner
5.40-6.30 outside play
6.30-7.00 TV/tablet
7.00-7.30 play dough/games etc
7.30-7.50 bath
8pm - bed & story.
He can listen to his Toni box after that if he can't sleep but he is generally asleep by about 8.20

The tv and late snacks won't be doing any good. Cut both out. If necessary make evening meal about half an hour later.

Why are they eating toast just after eating dinner?

They eat toast after dinner because they are both fussy eaters and it was a way of taking the pressure off at dinner time.

I like the idea of moving dinner later on though, I think this would help.