What's been your most disappointing hotel experience?

[QuintessentialQuokka]

This is inspired by the fact that I'm having a mildly but nigglingly disappointing hotel experience right now. The room is clean and has everything you'd expect - but it's a bit shabby and a bit small and the bath is half length and the kettle has exactly one free tea bag and one stick of coffee granules and one mini capsule of milk and the carpet looks like it came from a conference centre in 1991 and the lift is a claustrophobe's nightmare and takes a week and a half to arrive when summoned. In short, it feels like a 60 quid hotel room and I paid 200 for it as a rare treat, more fool me.

If you'd like to, please make me feel somewhat better by sharing your most disappointing/worst hotel experiences. Thanks.

Guys Thatched Hamlet, Billsborow. I had taken my then-gf there as a treat, as she liked oldy-worldy things and I loved it there anyway. Paid extra for a room with a jacuzzi bath, it isn't an expensive hotel by any stretch but nor is it a cheap basic one.

The first night we drank champagne in the jacuzzi bath, had a fab evening. The second night went for dinner in the restaurant and i suddenly felt so dizzy and sick, I'm normally a great lover of dining and wine and long evenings and I told her I was sorry but I needed to go back to the room and lie down. Was actually quite scared. Couple of hrs later I was (sorry) vomiting from both ends and so, so poorly. I braved through it as didn't want to disappoint girlfriend and managed a nice canal walk the next day but felt dreadful.

When we were back home I discussed it with a few people who said Guys had a reputation for not cleaning their jacuzzi pumps properly, and that this had happened to several people who had caught some sort of rancid bug from the jacuzzi outlets. That I was very lucky as at least one person had been hospitalised!
So shocking.
Not to put anyone off the hotel though, I still love it and I've learned under a reliable source that they've improved things greatly now (a friend is close friends with the new manager]. Give it a go if you like that sort of thing, I've been back since and been fine, but after that happened I avoided it for a good 6years!

Years ago I thought that holiday camps were the way to go but soon learnt otherwise.
used to go to Pontins with mum and dad no complaints this was when it was actually owned by Fred Pontins but trouble seemed to start when it sold out to big companies like Britannia. Going to Pontins the chalets seemed to be untouched from when I went to the camps when I was a child but time had not been kind to them. Tired is a kind description but does not include the dirtiness of the places, the fed up attitude of the staff, damaged and unkempt public areas, overgrown weed strewn flower beds, the litter etc.
Butlins fared only slightly better. I know now there are only I think three places and they are now hotel style places but before they were going the same way as Pontins tired dirty and desperately in need of renewing.
lastly was John Fowler; I had a look at the website for a while then decided to book a holiday. My memory has got hazy re the name but it was Devon I am sure. Perhaps someone may recognise it.
the photos showed a lovely big relaxation area, swimming pool, great chalets etc so could not wait to get there.
big mistake. when we got there we were told the chalets were full so we were going to overflow. These were not chalets but some awful old manor house with a propped open door, worn holey carpets horrible. the room was just as bad. A sort of kitchen bedroom with awful bathroom, the double small bed was so bad that I had no room with my ex in there so I went to try the bed settee no idea where kids were supposed to sleep. the bed settee was like sleeping on iron bars so uncomfortable. the bed linen was well bleached out supposed to be their motif but you could hardly see it. did not seem clean. the kitchen window looked on these chalets which seemed like garden sheds poor folk had to trudge up a garden path through the house to get to the complex. we all had to go across this dangerous road to get to the complex it was leading to a supermarket which people seemed to use as a racetrack.
the fire alarm kept going off at night but never saw staff. in the end we guests found the alarm in a cupboard hidden behind a lot of broken cots and old mail/papers and had to disconnect it so we could get sleep.
added to which upstairs was a couple whom the woman had orgasms loudly until the early hours.
the complex was nothing like it was described, the restaurant only opened for an hour a day so nothing to nosh it was after this I gave up on holiday camps!

oooohhh, this one is hard t beat. remember when there were the bombings in London, on the tubes and buses? we were due to see R.E.M in Hyde park, and had booked a room in a hotel a short walk from Hyde Park.
the gig was rescheduled for some time later, and we were able to move our booking to that date.

WELL.

we showed up in plenty of time and were sitting in the lobby for three hours waiting for our room to be "ready"
after those three hours, we were told they had overbooked, and we would be moved to their sister hotel, pretty much the other side of London. bear in mind the tubes and buses were still not running properly. and we'd booked there because it was walking distance to hyde park.
they DID arrange a minicab for us and a few people in the same situation to the other hotel. that's a small plus.
by the time we got there, it was nearly time for the gig, so I didn't get to have the shower I wanted after our car trip from Cornwall to London, we just had time to throw our luggage into the room and try and make our way back across London. no cab for that, of course. so we had to walk a lot of it.
went to the Gig. had a great time. saw Brian Molko from Placebo in the audience. it was great.
then we had to try and make our own way back.

WELL. when we got back to the hotel they'd put us in, there was no electricity in our room. there was only a single bed, one set of towels, etc.
it was late, so we went to bed as best we could, unwashed and unable to use the TV or make a cup of tea in the morning.
when we went down for breakfast, we said they had put us in a single room, and we'd paid for a double, and there was no electricity. at the very minimum, could they refund us the difference between a double and a single room.
the foreign guy on reception kept saying "is LIKE a double!" no. it's got a single bed, one set of towels, one pillow, one cup, and no electricity. we can let the no electricity and the fact you've moved us from the location we chose for convenience go IF you refund the difference between the room we booked and the room we got. "IS LIKE A DOUBLE!"
I left that place in angry tears, and I hope they've gone bust. we didn't get anything like what we chose and paid for. in no way was it anything like a double. we paid for a double room with functioning lights, tv, kettle, shower etc. in walking distance of where we needed to go, and were given a room across town with a single bed and no electricity.

they said we should have mentioned the issues with the room when we got there, but they left us waiting so long we only had time to drop off our luggage and leave. we didn't have time to check everything, and it was still light when we got there, so we didn't need to turn on the lights. and that because we didn't realise when we chucked our cases through the door and rushed out, they wouldn't do anything at all, and it was "like a double"