Was I being unreasonable?

[Supersares]

So I’m not sure if I was being shady with this so would like some input.
It’s my youngest dd’s birthday next Friday and a friend would like to come after school to give her a present ( dd’s party is on the Saturday morning) without thinking I said yes ok. A couple of days later I realised that I’d have family coming over and we’d be going out for tea on the Friday so I asked friend if it would be ok for her to come the day before. She doesn’t work so could come any time. She basically went off on one accusing me of treating her badly and how I thought so little of her, should have invited her out for tea etc.
I was a bit miffed at first but now I’m wondering if I was the mean one messing her around? What do people think, was I being unreasonable?

Not working doesn't mean someone just sits around all day doing nothing and could do something "any time" 🙄

Oh my gosh, I was just going to say this!

It's a bit like when someone retires and people assume they've got nothing to do all day.

Apart from that OP, YANBU.

You can't help it if you forgot about the previous arrangement.

She doesn’t do much I know that for a fact!

I was on your side until the last comment. You obviously don't think very highly of your friend who's made the time to buy your child a gift.

Do you even like this women? You're coming across as if she's below you and therefore should just be grateful you even offered her the time of day.

You made plans and she's probably scheduled stuff around that but even if she hasn't then yes it's rude to just change them. The fact you apparently didn't remember you were going out for dinner for several days does seem pretty unlikely.

She's had a lucky break

I think that’s a reasonable request for you to ask her to come at a different time. I think it’s a bit cheeky for her to expect to go to the family tea.

It sounds like either your friend has a lot going on and this tipped her over the edge....or your a shit friend who has form for this kind of thing?

That's irrelevant.

You still don't know that she could come any time.

Definitely unreasonable of her to kick off and demand to be invited to family tea, but if this was one of my friends I would have just explained and they would have popped round for an hour after school before we went out?

There's quite a bit of unreasonableness here, on both parts.

You, to not check your calendar in the first place, and create the situation.

You, to assume she has nothing to do and 'can do anytime'

Her to be so presumptuous as to think she ought to be invited to a family meal

Her, for kicking off.

That’s actually quite nasty… thx