DS(4) sudden separation anxiety

[Whatshallichangemyusernameto]

I’m not exactly sure what I want from this thread. Maybe solidarity, maybe advice, maybe just to get it off my chest.
DH and I have DS, who has just turned 4. For context, I work 3 days a week (I finished mar leave when he was 10mo and he’s been at nursery on those days ever since). He has two days with me, and two with both me and DH. He’s always been ok with being away from us (my parents babysit and he stays at theirs once every couple of months or so).
In the past couple of weeks, he’s started asking whether DH or I will be there when I tell him plans. Eg “We’ll go to the park then go the shops.”
”With Mummy and Daddy?
On Thursday, DH and I were supposed to fly to elsewhere in the UK for a gig. We would have been away for about 24hrs. However, the plane was delayed by many hours and we were stuck in the airport. During our wait, my parents asked if I’d FaceTime and he was inconsolable. Literally screaming. He’d been like it for hours, apparently. We couldn’t leave him in that state and came home.
Next weekend, we’re supposed to be attending a friend’s wedding locally (no children allowed - fair). We’re obviously not both to be able to go now. We’ve tried planning a very fun day with his grandparents but he’s having none of it.
I’m so perplexed about why he’s suddenly developed this separation anxiety and what I can do to help him. This week he’s got his first school stay and play and a visit to his new childminder without me (lunch for an hour). I’m just stuck.

Sorry for the many, many typos.

Hopeful bump

Hello Whatshallichangemyusernameto!

I don’t have any explanations but my son who turned 4 on the 7th June has been through something very similar (still is). Unfortunately he seems more anxious in general, even in social situations. I have no idea what’s going on - if it’s a developmental phase or something more serios. He never had a problem with my husband going away with work and a couple of weeks ago he cried inconsolably for 1.5h… he’s been acting out more and lately has been exhausted during the day. I don’t know if they are linked.

How is your little boy now? Has it gotten better?

Mine knew he was starting school. He definitely knew a big change was coming but couldn’t articulate it. He was fine going to school once it happened but he was unsettled. A bit older in the year than your sons.

It seems like that’s definitely the reason - it’s such a huge change. We’d been discussing it at home and I think he’d been building it up in his head. A few days after u first posted, he had a stay and play session there (screamed for hours on the morning, refusing to go) and has seemed much better since. I think he realised it’s a bit like nursery. He still asks if DH and I are going places with him, but seems far less anxious than before. Has your son articulated anything about starting school, @holliesmokes? I could well just be a development phase too.

@Whatshallichangemyusernameto It kind of started I think around the time we went for the settling in sessions. Even if he had a good time, they were making a big deal about it at preschool with graduation and everything. He probably realises things are changing, people are appearing and disappearing, my husband was travelling, but I don’t know.. he seems like he has more anxiety since then.