Things are so hard

[Lifeisblaaaaaaaaa]

Sorry to be a downer, just no one to talk to really and feel very overwhelmed right now.

Life is pretty challenging right now, as it is for alot of people right now.
It's just all got a bit much and i would appreciate just a chat.

Health wise at the moment im feeling rubbish, been diagnosed with parathyroidism which explain the awful bone pain/extreme tiredness/anxiety etc. Will have to wait till march next year for an appointment with surgeon, so living off pain killers constantly.

I received a letter from DWP regarding a past benefit claim,.single parent 5 children, 2021 my mum was diagnosed at a young age of terminal cancer, she was my everything, we did absolutely everything together, i cared for her for a year and a month before she passed away she gifted me £10,000 to pay all my debt of, which i did straight away, she passed away 3 weeks later and a sum of £20,000 was given to me basically to pay for her funeral, she was placed into a museleum (sp?) Iron cast coffin beautiful service and wake, open bar ,Beautiful flowers, basically exactly to the letter of what my beautiful mum wanted.
Unfortunately i went down into deep depression,.no job no life nothing, i missed my mum, after watching her die i couldn't stop thinking about it, i was vut on medication that kept being upped over the months. And do you know what stupid me forgot to do? Yup notify DWP about the funds, i generally didn't acknowledge anything going on, so of course i have an interview under caution next week, i did of course cancel it in 2022 just before i was due my inheritance but a little too late and i commited fraud. The worry of going to jail and the humiliation for being an absolute idiot.

My inheritance has long gone on absolute nothing special just paying bills the odd treat for the kids, no holidays nothing luxury.

Practically trying to keep a float as it is 😔

Everything is poop and again sorry to be a moaner, no one really to talk to, only had my mum who i am completely lost without

I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through 💐

I'm so sorry you've had all this to deal with and now this horrible investigation. I'm sure it's totally shit and overwhelming but despite all that, it's clear from your list that you are strong, and you will absolutely get through this.

In a sensible, fair world, you'd be able to go along to your interview, explain what you've told us here and be treated like the fragile, human being you are, who has made a mistake but is trying their best.

However, in the current climate of persecution of people for any minor benefit infringement and showing no compassion for their circumstances, I am wondering if you have you taken legal advice @Lifeisblaaaaaaaaa ? I've just had a quick read up and it seems it's not advisable to turn up to an interview under caution without legal representation.

This might help.

Thank you both so much.

I can't afford legal representation, but i will keep trying citizens advice but they never seen to be open when i try.

I have done nothing but read research, cry, breakdown. The chances of a prison sentence i dont know, paying it back in full will be required, i just can't see how anymore money going out is possible i live on the bare minimum, but of course it isn't my money and rightfully so needs to be paid back.
Some have required a tag attached the them, in which case i will loose my job, but because of the fraud i wont be entitled to any help, so i dont no what to do ☹️

I have requested my medical forms which indicated how bad i was maybe that will help

Pisses me off the rich getting richer constantly, huge corporations screwing people out of obscene amounts and yet they go after people like op who are struggling as it is. I don't think for a second you'd get prison time for this though op and you'll be able to pay back in installments. It's shit, life is shit in a lot of ways, every day is a slog at the moment for lots of us. But you can get through this, it's not the end of the world it's a mistake made when you're under a lot of pressure.

@Lifeisblaaaaaaaaa did you read the bit in the CAB link about being able to reschedule the appointment if you haven't been able to get legal advice yet?

I think this is worth considering, if you are having trouble getting hold of Citizens Advice.

Have you also just tried calling some local law firms to see if they do any pro bono work? If they won't take your case for free, some at least do a free half hour which won't be great but might be better than nothing. Where are you based?

@Lifeisblaaaaaaaaa it might be worth reposting this in Legal in case anyone there can help?

Is it practical advice you’re after op? Can you tell us how much you owe and we can start from there? There’s cases of people owing tens of thousands, if not over 100k and not going to prison after blatantly screwing the system for years. Going by what you’ve told us so far, there’s absolutely no way you’re going to prison

Just sending love and sympathy. I was in a similar situation,my ex H tried to kill me,2 small kids,had re mortgaged the house several times by forging my signature. By the time we went to court,he's cleaned out the bank account,left me literally with huge debt,scarpered across the country, changed his name. I had a good job,boss came to my home, said we cannot have you working in our fine upstanding family firm when this gets in the papers,I had been there under a year,so no legal rights.ccj, emergency accommodation, after being made homeless. Just after this my lovely DM died at 64 because her GP messed up. My late father got a girlfriend 6 weeks later, and when I told him about everything he said he hoped I wasn't going to get divorced and cause a scandal because he wanted to marry "Jane" and didn't want her upset!! I'm an only child. Guess who was required when "Jane" was ill,died, father married "Mary", then he was terminally ill,guess who. Ironically, I was actually nursing, I left for a while, because I worked in the same hospital,where my mother was. It is shit, but you do come out the other end!

Honestly, try not to worry. They will not send you to prison for fraud. Just be honest with them, and they will set up a payment plan for the overpayment.
Big hugs. Things will get better for you.

So it is the money you were given to pay for the funeral, and not your actual inheritance, that is the problem? That seems very unfair if so. I would challenge that as it was never your money and you didn't use it as such.

Thank you all so much for being kind.

Im so sorry to everyone who is struggling, it's just so draining every month after month.

I have a week till my appointment, the linger i wait the more ill i think im going to get, i can't sleep worrying about it.

Nope didn't see any of the money, infact i paid off all debts with first lot (previous marriage) and the other lot went straight in funeral for what it was intended but obviously was put into my account. Im down as undeclared capital.

I am down brighton way east sussex.

My plan this weekend is to get as muxh evidence that i can find and call around and email solicitors.

Again thank you all

I'm sure there's a caveat with UC. so for example when i got a £10k divorce settlement i could put it towards a deposit, building my new home and car etc and it wasn't living expenses. i think i had 3 months grace period though it was a while ago and can't remember.

CItizens Advice will help.

The interview will just be to clear you. I understand the anxiety but try and see the interview as something that will benefit you, to draw a line and clear your name.

I agree with pps about getting in touch with CAB. They will be able to advise you. Search for any evidence you have, receipts, bank statements etc which will show the money being spent on the funeral and paying off debts. I think you can have so much in savings not sure if it's £6000 or £16000 before it affects benefits. Please try not to worry, they will not send you to prison, but will work out a payment plan for you to pay any money back. You definitely need legal advice though, the CAB will have come across this many times.

Have you receipts for all the funeral costs? That will show where the £20,0000 was spent.

Ffs that is not an inheritance - that is spending money on the funeral in a way your mum requested

See your MP too

I don't think you have done anything wrong and you shouldn't let anyone from DWP think you have.
I would go to the interview with the bank statements of what you paid for for your mum's funeral and all the details about where the money came from etc. Of course it would be you arranging the funeral as she was your mum, so it's clear that you would need access to this money rather than another person.
I think they should accept it. If they do not I would make a complaint against them and make it very clear how much stress they have caused you at a difficult time. I would not accept any decision that any money needs to be paid back and I would appeal against that.

I think the maybe because the first money i got to pay debt it went to my ex husband (debt was in both names) and he said he will deal with all, which he did, paid off every penny. Maybe i could bring his bank statement and show from there?

My ex husband and i get on very well still, he is an amazing father also. I know it may seam weird to trust him but my mum to him was like a mum, he absolutely adored her and she did him, he was there by accident (dropping food off) when my mum passed away also, i know if i asked him for the statement he will give it to me for evidence.

It's all a mess!