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Original poster

Do you stay awake until your teenage children get home ?

42 replies

rickyrickygrimes · 27/06/2024 21:41

DS is 16. He’s been going out with friends in the evenings for quite some time, gradually staying out later and later. DH and I are early birds, we both are ideally asleep by 10h30, up at 6h00. But DS wants to come home later - 11h30 or midnight. I don’t have a problem with that - he’s 16, 6ft tall, sensible, out with friends. We live city centre so he’s never more than 20 minutes or so from home on foot.

but my problem is that I just can’t stay awake till midnight ! Plus I’m deaf so even if he woke me to tell me he’s home he’d really have to wake me up 🤷‍♀️

do you stay awake till your teens are tucked up in bed ?

OP posts:
Springwatch123 · 27/06/2024 21:41

I try to, but often doze off.

Octavia64 · 27/06/2024 21:42

No.

I'm disabled and take drugs in the evening that knock me out.

NewName24 · 27/06/2024 22:03

No.
I keep my phone turned on (wifi off) and know they could ring me if they need me, but I go to sleep.

That said, I am a night owl myself so unlikely to be asleep before 12.
But they gradually stay out later (into the early hours) when they get a bit older, so the same applies.

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Families
TheFallenMadonna · 27/06/2024 22:03

I never could. My eldest is 22, lives hundreds of miles away and is a fully fledged working adult, but when he's staying here, I can't sleep til he gets in. It's my issue, not their's.

Ragwort · 27/06/2024 22:09

I don't consciously 'stay up' but I am aware of when DS gets in ... if he has a really late night I seem to doze on and off until I know he's in he's 23 now & doesn't even live at home but I'm like this when he's back for a weekend!

Ducksurprise · 27/06/2024 22:09

I have four lights (for the four that are still at home) four different colour bulbs. They turn them off when they come in, so I go to sleep and if I wake I can see if they are home.

DawnBreaks · 27/06/2024 22:12

I used to doze but not really sleep soundly until I heard their key in the door! Then I didn't drop back off until I heard them actually going to bed. This was when mine were slightly older and out at clubs and pubs. I used to tiptoe in first thing to see if they were still breathing and hadn't died of alcohol poisoning!!

TheChosenTwo · 27/06/2024 22:12

I’m a night owl but no, I don’t wait up for them.
Dds are now 20 and 18, eldest is at uni most of the time and when she’s home she works late some evenings and when she’s out at the pub she usually drives (saving money!) or will walk to friends for a few drinks with them.
younger one is normally at her boyfriends but does occasionally go to the pub and have a few drinks.
All I ask is that they text me when they get home whatever the time so when I wake up in the morning I see that they got home.

Nottodaty · 27/06/2024 22:15

I snooze but not a deep sleep. My eldest is at uni and when she home my sleeping is ruined! The relief of hearing the door close ! Not sure why wouldn’t even to think to ask when she away living at uni house!

meimyself · 27/06/2024 22:16

Yes I can't sleep till they're home but I expect them in at 10, although I'll see how that goes over the next year or two

Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky · 27/06/2024 22:17

I'm going through this at the moment. My oldest is coming up 17 and starting to want to be out later but I need my sleep! I'm up 5.30-6 during the week so I really want to be asleep by 10.15 latest.

I don't feel like I should go to sleep but o cannot stay awake. I asked her to wake me and tell me she had come home last week - we had a conversation apparently and I remembered nothing of it

Jennyathemall · 27/06/2024 22:20

Ducksurprise · 27/06/2024 22:09

I have four lights (for the four that are still at home) four different colour bulbs. They turn them off when they come in, so I go to sleep and if I wake I can see if they are home.

eh?!

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 27/06/2024 22:24

I don't. People always told me when they were younger that when they started going out I wouldn't be able to sleep till they were in but I find I nod off - I've 2 DSs 18 and 16, younger one doesn't usually stay out too late but 18yr old does. He's a sensible young man - tends to be in local pubs, at friends or with his GF so I don't usually worry. Both DH and I always have our phones on so we'd wake up if they called.

Laserwho · 27/06/2024 22:25

My DS is 16 and has to be in by 10pm at the latest. I wait up. I think 16 is a bit too young to let them stay out later or not be aware if they don't get home.

mrsfollowill · 27/06/2024 22:35

It's a painful stage isn't it! You have to let them grow up and trust them to be sensible. I was a total horror aged 14-18 and used to scoff at my mum waiting up for me. Lucky for me DS has been different- he's in his early 20's now and still lives with us. I'm normally up until 1/2am at the weekend but have finally relaxed enough to go to bed and doze after that.
A few months ago I got up at 5am on a Sunday (just a quick loo trip) and peeked round his open door to see his bed empty - I started to panic as the one 'rule' we have is he will text if he not coming home- but he then waltzed out of the bathroom just on his way to bed!
My mum and dad were quite relieved when I left home at 18. I have apologised profusely to my mum now I know what I put her through!

unlikelychump · 27/06/2024 22:38

Ducksurprise · 27/06/2024 22:09

I have four lights (for the four that are still at home) four different colour bulbs. They turn them off when they come in, so I go to sleep and if I wake I can see if they are home.

This is inspired.

TellerTuesday · 27/06/2024 22:40

Ducksurprise · 27/06/2024 22:09

I have four lights (for the four that are still at home) four different colour bulbs. They turn them off when they come in, so I go to sleep and if I wake I can see if they are home.

I'm massively intrigued by this as well. Is it mounted in your bedroom or something? I'm envisaging the bells in servants quarters but with light bulbs. Mine would forget to turn the bulb off, I would forgot whose bulb was whose, it would cause more issues than it would solve but I'm still intrigued

ChickenDeChick · 27/06/2024 22:43

Laserwho · 27/06/2024 22:25

My DS is 16 and has to be in by 10pm at the latest. I wait up. I think 16 is a bit too young to let them stay out later or not be aware if they don't get home.

Edited

I agree with this, at 16 ds had to be home by a certain time and I needed to know where he was and wouldn't go to sleep until he was home.

At aged 18+ I was more relaxed and as long as I knew his plans roughly I'd go to sleep (but on the proviso he would text me when he came home so if I woke I could check my phone and know he was home safe).

ChickenDeChick · 27/06/2024 22:46

I'm massively intrigued by this as well. Is it mounted in your bedroom or something? I'm envisaging the bells in servants quarters but with light bulbs. Mine would forget to turn the bulb off, I would forgot whose bulb was whose, it would cause more issues than it would solve but I'm still intrigued

I also need to know more! I'm imagining a board on the wall in the posters bedroom with 4 light bulbs attached and switches for the teens to creep in and flick their lightbulb off 🤣
And yes mine would never remember to turn off their bulbs particularly after a night of partying!

sprigatito · 27/06/2024 22:49

My 19yo pops his head round our bedroom door when he gets home from work, even if it's 2am. If we were asleep he wouldn't wake us, but I am generally awake and I like a little chat with him before he goes to bed.

chosenone · 27/06/2024 22:50

@Ducksurprise
Please tell us more? I just can't imagine this.
At 16 i’d definitely need to know tbh. Go to bed and dose bit be aware. I can track the phones of my two (19 and 17), not sure it's great for the 19 year old but I can't fully rest until I know they're safe.

StikItToTheMan · 27/06/2024 22:52

Yes I wait up until 16 year old ds is home. I can't imagine that changing for the next couple of years tbh.

aleinu · 27/06/2024 22:54

I generally go to bed at 1-2am so I am usually up when mine get in, though sometimes they do get in later than that. I wouldn't deliberately stay up as I don't feel particularly anxious about them, but that's my natural bedtime anyway.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 27/06/2024 22:54

My dd is 18 now and can be out till 3am so absolutely no chance of me staying awake!

When she was younger I would stay awake till midnight ish to make sure she got in safely.

beckybarefoot · 27/06/2024 22:55

I'm not too sure how i would feel about my 16 year old being out so late! I personally, and i'm not judging anyone, but i personally would insist on a 10pm curfew for school nights and maybe a little later on a weekend!