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4 year old clinging and not wanting to go to nursery - any ideas?

3 replies

fourthousandweeks · 27/06/2024 09:36

My just turned 4 year old is really struggling with going to nursery in the mornings. He always says he doesn't want to go. It's very noisy there and the drop offs are so hard. Staff have tried to help but the ease of drop off depends on which carer is there that day.

Usually he is fine once the day starts and at pick up. We only have a few weeks until he leaves and school starts so there's no point looking at a new nursery now- just trying to get through till August.

The hardest aspect is when he leaves home though, just getting him out of the door without ignoring his feelings, and this is where I'm trying to think about new ways of managing things. In the mornings he gets really upset and clings to me (his Daddy drops him off). On the walk down our road to the bus stop he often runs back to our front door and knocks for me. His Daddy tries carrying him to the bus stop but he often wriggles down and runs back to me. He tries anything to delay and stall.

I have been open with him and talked about how he doesn't want to go in and talked about his emotions. I compare with myself not wanting you to go to work sometimes, or when I was a little girl. Once he's there he does have a nice day but he would always prefer to stay at home if he had the choice.

Does anyone have any good ideas or tips for helping with mornings when child really doesn't want to go to nursery?

OP posts:
fourthousandweeks · 27/06/2024 14:14

Bump

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 27/06/2024 14:19

You need to stop all the emotional chat and letting him cling to you/come back to the house etc.

Say goodbye, give him a kiss, hand over to Dad and then get out the way. No long, drawn out goodbyes. His Dad needs to hold his hand so he can't run back up the road and knock for you! If he does, DO NOT open the door (but really...letting him run home is ridiculous!). You're making it so much worse for him by letting it become more and more drawn out.

HcbSS · 27/06/2024 14:20

Go out at drop off time. Go to work early (or for a walk/run errands if WFH).

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