How do children start friendships as pre-teens?

[WorkinMumsince4ever]

Hi,
I am not from this country and wondered how do children - pre-teens, make friends at school these days? Tips anyone?

By being in the same environment, at the same time, relating through experiencing the same things just as it has been since the dawn of time. What makes you think that it would be any different OP?

RE: thanks for your answer. I find it quite generic though, I don’t think sharing the same experience make people become friends. Experience alone doesn’t create connections.

“What makes you think that it would be any different OP?“
Culture. Children in my country would immediately ask you if you wanted to play without even knowing you, while waiting on the queue, etc. I noticed children in this country taken aback when asked randomly the same question from unknown children. It is a fact.

I think most preteens would be taken aback by a random child asking them to 'play'. Play is for small children. Preteens hang out together. They don't 'play'.

Friendships form by people just being friendly. You don't ask someone to be your friend it just happens holistically. With adults that's usually in the workplace or in a hobby group.

For preteens it's usually school that provides the opportunity to interact with likeminded people. That's generally how preteens make friends.

Are your preteens struggling to make friends?

Can your kids just ask if they can join in? I like the sound of your culture.

There will be plenty of clubs at school that your children can join to find likeminded people.

Shared interests lead to natural conversations which create friendships.

I'm sorry if your children are struggling but they'll have more success if they don't approach random kids expecting them to be friends. It doesn't work like that. You'd back off if a stranger asked you to go for coffee. It's exactly the same for preteens if a random person approaches them.

Boy or girl?

For girls: a smile helps. Be chill. Don’t be bossy. Don’t try to monopolise your new friend. Don’t try to break into a very “tight” friendship groups especially of only two girls, look for larger groups.

Preteens I know wouldn't react well to someone asking to join in. That's all too needy. Just advise your preteens to take it slowly. Naturally join in the conversations around them and take it from there.

Thank you all for your messages. I’m taking your advices! Happy Friday!