Sibling advice

[Jodiesbook]

My kids are close in age they are 7&8 and generally very close and play well.
an issues keeps coming up for the eldest.
Younger will only play games their way - and will say things like ‘unless we play this way, I’m not playing (or sometimes I’ll never play with you ever again)
eldest is getting upset as he doesn’t get to play the way he wants & doesn’t know how to handle it.

I know when I was a kid I would have said ‘Fine then, I’m not playing’ but I’m not sure that’s healthy & Eldest wants to play & gets upset.

any advice I can give? am drawing a total blank.

They take it in turns, or the oldest doesn’t play.

"Fine then - I'm not playing" generally is the way to get the other person to realise the consequences of their bossiness.

If you won't play with others and share the lead people won't want to play with you.

How about when youngest becomes bossy you just say "don't worry dc1. I'll play that game with you that way".

Then if youngest wants to join in you can model them playing a game on someone else's terms. It's a skill they will need to get on in life.

In our house it goes something like:
DC1 insists on playing like x.
DC2 storms out whining she's never going to play with eldest again as he only ever wants to play in a certain way.
DC2 finds something to occupy herself with.
DC1 asks DC2 to play, DC2 refuses usually saying something like "it's not fun playing your way"
DC1 comes whining to me - I tell him he can't always have his own way etc etc.
DC1 goes to DC2 and offers a compromise.

(Sometimes helped along by the offer of chores if bored)

So, I'd say stay out of it. Let DC1 know he can take a break from DC2 and make sure he has something he can play with alone. DC2 will soon realise it's better to have someone to play with.

Okay, I will try it.
I am not offering to play Eldests game their way as it’s awful make believe stuff! (Although I’m sure they’d love it 😂)
but I will suggest that they get in first with not playing.

Oh I absolutely do they aren’t especially closely supervised, but eldest is complaining that it’s not fair etc & I’d like to at least offer an idea iyswim.
having said that I think once I did suggest just walk away & got a wail ‘But I like playing with Youngest!’

I have had a word with youngest as well, who says eldest always wants to play boring things.
imay need to suggest a middle ground.

I'd offer to play with the oldest as a way to show youngest that getting their own way all the time as consequences. You may not have to do it more than a few times before youngest gets message.