Shell shocked after a and e visit

[Onethreefiveseven]

I am looking for advice on what to do next as I feel like I'm not coping

I started developing very severe neck pain yesterday. I am not inexperienced with pain, I've been through significant, life-threatening medical events. This was far worse pain than breaking a bone, for example, or an infected surgical wound. I've also had migraines and this was much worse. The closest comparison was when I went into hyperstimulation during a pregnancy induction and felt like my abdomen was in a vice. This time I felt like my skull was about to crack. It was so extremely painful and very frightening, I also had blurred vision on my left side. The pain was so intense I can't describe it.

I was sent to a and e by 111, got there at 8, told 3-4 hours wait. I sat in waiting room on a hard chair groaning and crying. By the time I was triaged the wait had become 5-6 hours and then by 11pm 8-9 hours. I spoke to a receptionist who made it clear that I wouldn't be seeing anyone until the morning. No pain relief until then. So I asked my partner to pick me up and we called 111 again desperately trying to get pain meds. Spent the night waiting for callbacks and begging for help down the phone. Sobbing and at times screaming from the pain. I finally got some codeine this morning, after 14 hours of indescribable pain.

This morning the pain is more under control and I thought I would feel relieved but instead I feel odd, psychologically, in a bad way. Kind of dead eyed and like I want to cry but can't. Hopeless. The fact that I interacted with so many people and no one helped. No one even really seemed to believe me how bad the pain was. I'm not writing this to blame them. Maybe they were doing what was necessary, prioritising other patients. It was still horrific though.

I will make a drs appointment for my physical health but I want to know what to do, today, to try to minimise the psychological effects. I've barely slept and I can't figure out what to do. Has anyone else been through a prolonged period of very intense pain and/or been denied pain relief, and found a way to cope with the emotional aftermath. Maybe just writing this down will help, I don't know.

Hi OP. Of course you feel awful. I work in Talking therapies and it sounds like you were in fear for your life; that level of pain without any support is truly psychologically traumatic.

I might advise seeing a pharmacist (just because they can be quick with pain relief and also with updating GP) and if it persists, I would return to A&E, especially with blurred vision as a symptom. I’m surprised you weren’t seen faster with that, but as others have said it truly depends on what other cases were in last night.

Take care of yourself, I really hope you feel better soon.

What an awful experience. It makes me wonder, if they are not seeing people with symptoms like the OPs, then who are they seeing? Who is considered more of a priority? Sounds like the OP was presenting with what could have been a haemorrhage/stroke etc so surely should have been pretty far up the queue.

What did your GP do to relieve them? My ds gets horrendous cluster headaches, but is reluctant to go and ask because she's afraid they can't do anything.

Having said that last night she called 111 with a UTI, and a doctor called back within 10 minutes and saw her in person as soon as we could get to him.
She had antibiotics within an hour.

Yes I slipped a disc a 10 weeks ago, I was screaming for hours and hours. I found it traumatic. Ambulance, 111 and A&E didn’t manage to stop the pain. It was horrific. My sympathies but go back and get help to check you out .

You’ve had an awful experience. I’m so sorry. It is difficult to process the anger, confusion, helplessness and fear which is likely to come with that. I didn’t have as bad a situation as you but I had bad pain once which no one could do anything about and I couldn’t even get out of bed to go to the doctor. I’m still traumatized by the experience. What might help is speaking to another doctor and getting better care so you know it won’t recur and then just being kind to yourself. Acknowledge your feelings and validate them. Make a plan for if something like this happens again - are there other bigger hospitals that might work instead? I find having a plan of action helps reduce the anxiety of the same situation recurring.

Doctor tried a couple of different drugs but Verapamil was the one that did the trick. But I had the headaches every night for 3 months before that and I had started to get them at 9AM when I arrived at work too. It was terrible, I can see why they call them 'suicide headaches'.

In so far as self help goes, one night I was so desperate that I left the house and ran myself into exhaustion. From that I found that 30 minutes of vigorous exercise would either reduce the time the headache lasted or sometimes would make it tail off all together. We had a Wii at the time, so I did Wii boxing exercises until I was exhausted and that worked too.

Also, guzzling a can of cold Red Bull or two would make it tail off. That was something I read on line and tried out of desperation and found it worked.

That was 10 years ago and I've not had another cluster since.

Edit: Just to add, right up until I stopped getting them, the smallest amount of alcohol would trigger one.

Hi op,

I haven’t read the replies so I’m sure this has already been said- maybe I’m reiterating what others have said:

if you have been to A&E for severe and unexplained pain, but decided after some time to leave and the reason is unknown you need to be seen by a medical professional. Particularly when it possibly relates to neurological symptoms (possible TIA, which would impact on your emotions today). I am a psychologist, I understand that you are worried about how your MH might be affected, but really the most important thing for you (and probably to your MH) is to rule out anything more serious as soon as you can. When we feel that we are in need of help urgently and don’t receive it, of course this can feel very traumatic. The chances are you’ll be fine with a couple of days and a bit of care from your family and a chance to speak with people about how you experienced that situation. If you are not you can seek a bit of extra support through your GP if you feel you need to. However, our MH and emotional state is so closely linked to our physical health, some people experience a very uneasy sensation that is difficult to describe but a feeling of being ‘off’ when something is seriously wrong ( I have first hand of this with severe food allergies). I’m not suggesting that this is what is happening to you- but you are the expert in yourself and if you think something is wrong I would be going back to A&E and waiting it out just for peace of mind.

I take comfort in the fact that it was temporary. The pain did end. I got through it.

Is there any option for a private hospital?

The last time I went to A & E for myself it was straight to a private hospital. I had a chronic pain condition and nothing was helping.

I just needed painkillers that were stronger than what my neurologist and GP had already prescribed (which to be fair were really strong already). There was no way I was going to get anything stronger at a public hospital.

Unfortunately the NHS is on its knees. This was something that was always going to happen. You need to go to a private hospital.

I'm so sorry you've had this experience. I can relate after being ignored for 18hrs with an embolism they misdiagnosed and sent me home with, only to be rushed back in by ambulance a few days later. It was worrying because the walk in I attended first managed to correctly diagnose it and even printed off my d dimer for them to see, yet, like you I was left sitting on a chair all night before I was told it was all in my head.

I think the best thing is to sleep, as long as you are no longer worried about your physical health and can. It is very stressful loosing a day of sleep, particularly when you are surrounded by ill people not being seen often in severe distress. Add to that your continuous pain and fear and it's not surprising you are feeling some trauma. I would run a bath, have some comfort food and turn in early then approach it with fresh eyes in the morning.

I was told to contact PALS but when friends have done this it just takes months, frequently reminds them of traumas and then they get a letter saying "lessons will be learned" usually at the same time another friend goes through something similar. I do think it made me more aware of needing private health insurance. I can't afford a full package but use Benenden Health now to cover me and dd for £15, so if there is a wait over 5 weeks they agree to pay. Annoyingly the doc didn't tell me the specialist I need to see was over 5 weeks, so 5 weeks in and still waiting but now it would be under... You will feel more in control if you can be proactive in this way. I was getting panic attacks regularly after my visit and am still not happy being in town for long as I still see myself crying in pain and having panic attacks in the A&E with everyone watching and feel very self-conscious and anxious. Another side effect is the fear of going back to hospital, so I have become a bit obsessive while also slightly hospital phobic. It's not good but I think a lot of us are left with this, which is causing people to attend hospitals later on than they should with serious issues.

I tried verapamil for a rare migraine disorder and it didn’t help.

I actually tried everything. Saw two neurologists and even an ENT.

I eventually saw a specialist doctor to review all of my medications during pregnancy (they were very strong medications).

Interestingly, she told me to make sure I have at least one coffee per day - even if I don’t want to.

She was absolutely right. Caffeine is amazing.

Now I make sure I always have coke in the fridge in case I need caffeine quickly and can’t have coffee.

It’s Interesting that caffeine works for you too.

Gosh that's absolutely appalling. I hope you get some relief very soon x

Thank you everyone who has shared their advice and experiences. I'm so sorry to everyone else who has experienced extreme pain, but it is validating to hear your experience (and to have people confirm how shit the NHS situation is right now).

I've called my GP and have an appointment in a couple of hours. I was triaged last night and they checked my blood pressure etc, excluded some signs of stroke such as inability to lift arms etc. however I do want to confirm that this is nothing more serious so if the Dr sends me back to a&e I will go.

I also now have some effective pain medication and that does make me feel a bit safer.

I did worry that I would get comments like that by @Princesscounsuelabananahammock
That is why I didn't post in aibu and also explained clearly what I wanted from the thread, why I ended up leaving a&e, and also that I didn't blame anyone who ignored my pain in order to prioritise a higher need patient.

I think I should probably bow out now, as I'm feeling really fragile and comments like these (patient blaming, lack of compassion) have the potential to reinforce the feelings I'm trying to prevent from bedding in. It's a shame because I was finding the validating comments to be therapeutic. Thank you again to everyone who tried to help x

She did speak to 111 before - they sent her to A+E.

The fact that I interacted with so many people and no one helped

^ Shocking but my experience too. So many different receptionists, triage nurses, nurses, call handlers, random people, on and on …. but no doctor in sight. I am very sorry to hear what happened to you. I have no suggestions.

Sorry you went through this. I’m a fellow birth trauma/PTSD survivor.

To the OP, being so abandoned by the very people who are supposed to help when we are in extreme pain can absolutely lead to a trauma response.

Know it’s not your fault
You deserved much better treatment
Act. Make a complaint

Being short staffed is not an excuse for lack of care/compassion. I have my own ideas around why doctors and nurses are increasingly lacking in bedside manner/compassion but I’d probably be shot down in flames.

Read up on trauma responses. Recognise any symptoms which might appear in the current days/weeks. Seek out private treatment if you can.

Take time for some self care.

shocking but believable 😔 💐

Harsh as it sounds it's true though. When the OP was triaged they would have checked her blood pressure, oxygen levels and heart rate. Not sure if they always take bloods as well, I know they took mine when I went to A and E, but my blood pressure was very low. If you are in pain they can give you pain relief if required but obviously it will depend on when pain killers were last taken. The OP hasn't said anything about this, but if she had stayed she would have been seen by now.

“Being short staffed is not an excuse for lack of care/compassion. I have my own ideas around why doctors and nurses are increasingly lacking in bedside manner/compassion but I’d probably be shot down in flames”

@Devonbabs shame you can’t say, I would be interested, but sometimes you have to keep your real thoughts to yourself on MN 🤷‍♂️

For all those saying ‘see a GP today’, ‘ring up the surgery and ask to speak to a GP’, ‘you’re registered with a GP - that’s what they’re there for’, you’re not wrong at all, but things must be very different in your areas. Where I am, if I were to ring up my surgery in the same circumstances as the op, I would eventually get through to a receptionist, I would be informed that all the triage appointments for today had gone (you can’t speak to, or get a face to face appt. with a GP at my surgery without being triaged first) and that I should phone back at 8 tomorrow. If I said I couldn’t wait till then, I would be advised to ring 111.

And then 111 want to send you to A&E where I will never voluntarily go now unless in an ambulance again.

No way to get through to my GP either most days as they actually have a voicemail that tells you they "aren't taking calls" which is on for the whole day. They merged though, so @maudelovesharold if yours has try the other village numbers - 2 of our ones do actually ring (and the surgeries have been completely empty when I go in).

I have so much sympathy for you OP- I had a very similar experience a few years ago with my brother at a&e- he was crying out with pain and very upset which wasn't like him and the a&e staff basically told him he was overreacting and to go get some more painkillers.
He went home and by next morning his eye and face had swelled massively- turned out it was a sinus infection that burst through the bones in his face and came close to blinding or even killing him had it gone the other way into his brain. I was horrified about how he was treated and i'll never forget it.

I also had a nurse laugh at me and tell me to wait for painkillers to kick in when I'd pressed the call button to say I was in agony- I was pregnant and had a twisted cyst on my ovary and had been given paracetamol- I ended up crying in pain all night without her coming near me- and it was the woman bringing breakfast in the morning who got a doctor to come check on me. I had surgery within an hour of that.

I fully support the NHS and hope it can be fixed but it doesn't mean that people can't be upset when they are suffering due to the state of things at the moment.

I'm a GP. If you rang me with that history I'd be instructing you to go back to A&E . You need assessed to see if you need a CT scan. It's not normal for a person in their 40's to get such a severe headache they're screaming in pain for hours and in my book is a subarachnoid haemorrhage until proven otherwise. Neck pain can also be a sign of vertebral artery dissection. Yes it could be a migraine or musculoskeletal issue but the dangerous things need ruled out first. Feel free to ignore me but I didn't feel in good conscience I could read this and not say anything! Best wishes OP.