DD6 has developed severe school anxiety - don't know how to help her

[Lolathegreat]

DD (6yo) is finishing Y1. Up to around April this year she was the kind of child who couldn't wait to go to school every single day, couldn't wait to go back after a school holiday/half term. Always happy and bubbly. Always settled in her nursery/school with absolutely no issues, super independent.

After a few months of bullying at school (which she successfuly hid until end of May), which has now thankfully been sorted (also this child is not coming back in Sept as they are moving back to their country), DD has developed such severe anxiety that she cries every day not wanting to go to school. And it's not about being bullied anymore as this girl is not allowed to approach or talk to her, it's about the teachers shouting, anxious that things will be missing from her tray (pencils/drawings), that she'll get told off by the teachers and the list goes on. I'm absolutely devastated! She cries at the gates saying she wants mummy. It's like someone kidnapped our DD and replaced her with a completely different child.

The school suspects she may have ASD as she struggles with social nuances and she has a few odd quirks. But so far not severe enough for a diagnosis (tried with both NHS and private).

Can anyone relate to this? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? It's impacted us all so much as it came so suddenly.

Look up the fb group called not fine in school. It's really helpful. My son started school avoiding in reception and by year 1, he was so burnt out and wasn't able to attend. He should now be in year 3

Your poor girl, what a horrible experience for her. It sounds like she perceives everyone in school as a potential bully, and who can blame her.
Do you know any friendly year 5 girls who’ll buddy up with her? They’ll be year 6 in September and often are quite protective of younger ones. Are there any children in her class she can invite round for tea/ play date ? I think it’s a long term thing of helping her to see there’s lots of good people in school.
When she’s feeling more confident again teach her some strategies for dealing with bullies, I’m sure there’s lots of info online, I always taught kids to use a loud of voice, draw instant attention to the bully by describing what they’re doing really loudly.

Thank you for your advice. She's just finishing Y1, so still very little. She does play with other girls in her class but 'the bully' also plays with everyone so she can't have a relaxed play as she constantly tries to avoid that girl. This will be over from Sept, but she seems to be so severely impacted, she can't even enjoy her weekends, constantly worries about school 😔.

This is what anxiety is like.You are anxious about one thing, and then you become anxious about everything.
I think Ince she has had 6 weeks off over the summer she will be OK.At this point in the school year everyone has had enough- pupils, teachers, parents.Everyone is ready for a break!

Another vote for not fine in school. I am so sorry that things are so difficult for you and your daughter op. Mine left mainstream and is not in an onlien school (she is autistic). I hear you, it's so tough. Naomi Fisher often runs webinars that may be useful https://www.naomifisher.co.uk/

There are a few Y5 girls who she used to be friends with in the past but the school apparently doesn't allow them to play with the older girls anymore, unless the older girls actively seek to play with them. A bit odd, but I understand that Y5 girls have a lot going on at the moment, sports matches, school trips, lunch time clubs, so unfortunately she's lost that closeness with the older girls.