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Feeling under appreciated, but am I just being a princess?

2 replies

TheCluelessMum · 23/06/2024 20:50

I appreciate this may sound like a very woe is me thread. But I’m feeling very unappreciated.

it is my 30th birthday in a few days. And I’m really feeling hurt and let down by the people closest to me.

My group of friends all turned 30 a few months ago, I am the last one. My ideal birthday would be a private dining experience with friends and family. In around April this year, we were discussing birthdays & it came to light that over my birthday weekend everyone had booked other things. Other birthdays, holidays, spa days with families. I was genuinely so upset, I’d put so much effort into these girls birthdays. And when it comes to mine everyone is busy.

DH saw I was upset and said “well you wouldn’t have liked a fuss anyway.” But for my 30th, that’s exactly what I would have wanted. A fuss.

DH organised a trip away (maybe because I was upset), which is on a farm. Not something I would choose, however we have DC together so I do think that will be lovely. I asked DH what the plans were, and he said “oh yeah I need to think about what we’re going to do.” We go in a few days. So DH just said oh we’ll go into the local town. I asked what we would do, which DH then told me I was being negative about it. I only asked as with young DC I feel like you can’t really just go somewhere and wander. (Well with my DC anyway). So I’ve just left it, but he’s told me nothings been planned yet… but he’ll “sort it”. We go in a few days. I’m thinking of everything we need to sort, food for kids etc.

My parents had their 30th wedding anniversary last year, I organised a surprise meal… with friends and family flying in to surprise them. Last week I saw my parents, they wished me a happy birthday and said they’d see me when we get back. My mum said “oh I’ll sort a spa day for your birthday or something when you’re back.”

Am I wrong to feel let down? I feel like I try to make everyone I love in my life feel so special. I feel like I try to meticulously plan everything for these people to make them feel so happy and loved. And I just don’t feel like I ever get it back in return.

I don’t want a birthday, I want everything to go away. I’d rather no effort that effort from DH which definitely feels like I’ve forced him into as I was so upset about my friends.

I read an old thread on here of people talking about what they done for their 30th birthday & they were all amazing things.

Are my expectations too high? Am I just being a dick

OP posts:
Hibernatalie · 23/06/2024 20:53

Happy birthday, I'm sorry you feel let down. I always organise my own birthday but I'm happy to tbh. DH shows me he loves me in other ways, it's a love language thing. I'd be upset about the friend group too though. Hope you have a lovely trip xx

AngryPrincess · 23/06/2024 22:46

Organise it yourself, for whenever you like, after you come back. I asked my sister to organise my 50th. My family ended up sitting at a separate table from everybody else. It’s better if you just do it yourself.

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