When does it get easier?

[InsiderBetty]

I have a 5yo DS and 3yo DD and feel like all I do is work and look after the children.

They don't go to bed until 8:30/9pm and wake up at 5:30am without fail and are non stop. They used to go to bed a bit earlier but now the evenings are lighter they won't sleep. I feel so jealous of people who say their kids wake up later because they go to bed later. When I ask what time they all say bed at 9pm and wake up at 8:45.

mornings are stressful getting ready for school/nursery and work. Everything is no no no. After school is stressful getting them ready for bed. Once they go to bed, I have to do more work. Week nights I get no downtime.

DH and I split putting them to bed and household chores but it's all such a grind. I am genuinely feeling miserable and snappy. I love DH and the kids but life doesn't feel good at the moment. I snap at the kids constantly and feel like I'm forever telling the 5yo off. He has no respect for things and is constantly breaking things. We've tried teaching him our room is off limits, yet he still manages to break something sentimental of mine that was in my bedside drawer. Nothing feels like it is mine anymore.

I barely talk to DH, I'm so tired. I'm dreading the school holidays and the constant mummy mummy mummy and being on edge in case one the kids hurts themselves (mainly 5 yo running off touching something he shouldn't etc.)

I have no hobbies. I'm tired all the time. I don't go out unless it is too the office. WhT's the point, I'll just be doubly tired rhe next day. I'm trying to go to bed earlier to combat the tiredness but by the time I finish work it's 10/11pm.

I'm starting to daydream about splitting with DH so we each get half the week and every other weekend off but I don't actually want to split up with him.

I think I could cope if kids just went to sleep earlier but they don't. They are deliriously tired by 6/7 but it's such a struggle getting them to bed. It's 8pm they are still up. I have to deal with getting them ready for school at 5:30.

we have a cleaner once a week but the house is always a mess.

when do things get easier? When will I have more time for me?

Not sure when it gets easier as we have 2.5yo twins and just to say I feel similarly, it can often feel like just constant feeding/clearing up/telling them off 1000 times a day/breaking up fights etc etc etc... it's tiring...I love being a mum but I also wonder when things will get any easier!

I'm starting to daydream about splitting with DH so we each get half the week and every other weekend off but I don't actually want to split up with him.

I can completely empathise about this. I've seriously considered divorce because a) having a child has destroyed our relationship and b) I'd have every other weekend in peace.

Our child is phenomenally hard work. I'm exhausted, moody, irritable, tired and probably generally horrible to be around but I am so sick of this life.

Meant to add; I now have late teen/adult children too so I KNOW it doesn't last forever...but it doesn't make it any easier and this one is by far the hardest of the lot, I actually sit here sometimes and wonder why we ever did it to ourselves.

I hear you, sounds exhausting. The children are getting enough sleep tbh. Gradually bring their bedtime forward, maybe 15 minutes at a time. Encourage 5 year old playing and /or reading in their room for a while the 3rd goes to bed/sleep. It's really bloody tough

The children aren't getting enough sleep. Sorry for the typo

It sounds like you're managing incredibly well, that is relentless. Do the children have gro clocks? Even if it's light, the 5 year old is old enough to know he has to stay in bed from 7/7.30 or whatever you've decided & stay there until the clock lights up in the morning. Toni box in the evening? Sticker reward chart?

My DC know that when they're put to bed, they stay there with a Toni story or read in the case of the older one...unless they're unwell or need something obviously! They know not to come in until the gro clocks light up but on weekends usually they do something for a few hours together before they come in. We've been very firm with this as not having alone time was too much alongside working full time.

It doesn't sound like they're getting enough sleep which may make the situation worse. My just turned 5 year old goes to bed at 7.30 and gets up at 7am. The 7 year old goes to bed at the same time and reads until 8/8.30 to get up at 7am.

Two words: blackout blinds!

Or you can get that window film which sticks with a bit of sprayed water

DO NOT divorce on the grounds that you'll get time off!

My XH promptly vanished to the other end of the country and saw the kids once a YEAR. I know every single thread tells you that DH HAS to take the kids EOW/50/50, but you cannot force them.

Things do get easier though OP. I found mine settled a lot when they started school and from there on got easier and easier (until they reached about 11, when it all started again, only differently awful!)