Misery is company

[Abitdramatic]

I think I am going through one of the most depressive periods of my life and I'm struggling with this as a full time working mother of a 3 y/o.
I had some time off on Friday and felt so much better for a short while, just being alone and free. As soon as Friday night rolled around though, I felt an overwhelming urge to go to sleep go a avoid living and still haven't really shaken it off.

DP is visibly frustrated. I've tried my best to join in over the weekend but be can see through my efforts to pretend I'm ok. He and DS have just gone for a walk to make the most of this lovely weather but I can't face it. I can't really face anything at the moment except for crawling into bed and watching reruns of old soaps. I dread wasting my weekend and I dread my stressful Monday to Friday job. I'm struggling to find a way out of it at the moment.

Sorry to* avoid
He* can

Anyone? I've tried my best this evening but am mainly counting down the hours and minutes for the earliest acceptable bedtime so I can just fully switch off.

Hi OP, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. Will you speak to your doctor?

If you can, try to explain to your partner how you're feeling, it will be frustrating for him if you don't share it.

Is it possible to cut down your work hours? Maybe get some of your workload shared out with colleagues?

I do think seeing your doctor is imperative.

I agree with the previous poster, I think you would benefit from a chat with your GP and getting signed off work. You sound absolutely burned out.

It would also be worth checking whether your company allows you access to an employee assistance programme. Some unions offer this too.

Please speak up and ask for help- you deserve it

Thank you so much for your responses. Back in Feb I had this awful pains all throughout my body and the GP linked this to stress. I had a few weeks off and then returned a bit refreshed. My manager is fantastic but I sense her patience wearing thin. The difference is now I feel burnt out by being at work and at home. It just feels like there's no escape. I'm worried about going to the GP again because I've had counseling in the past and the positive effects were short lived. I've never been able to get antidepressants right as I've found that they've all given me unbearable headaches.

I'm really sorry to be negative when you have so kindly reached out to help. It just feels so hopeless right now.

Hi OP, this sounds really hard . Maybe you could chat about your experience with anti depressants with the GP, they might be able to offer something different ?
Do you know what is making you feel low? ( obviously there doesn't have to be a reason ) , just wondering if this is stuff. Sounds like work is a lot and 3 years olds are also a lot .
What is your self - care like ? What do you do for you ? Hard as it may be you must try and get outside for a walk as often as you can . What is sleep and diet like ? Sending hugs

It can take a few goes to find the right medication, I think it's well worth seeing your doctor to talk thing's over, there may be vitamin deficiencies at play, or possibly hormones. The pains in your body may be stress but may also point to something like vitamin d deficiency.

You don't need to apologise OP. I'm sorry that you are feeling so terrible.

The other posters raise a good point about other possible rfactors that the GP can investigate or rule out.

The most important thing right now though is taking some time out. You sound in desperate need of some breathing space from your 'load' and that needs to be your immediate focus. Otherwise you will end up in an even worse position.

Also, can you discuss this with your partner? I know I would want to help my partner if they felt like this.

Thank you everyone. I'm used to being able to manage things quite well doing the usual things - watching diet, taking vitamins, ensuring I get outside, light exercise, reading etc but right now it all feels meaningless. Usually it's more anxiety based which feels at least like there's some energy and desire to keep calm. Right now, I feel kind of empty.

Maybe today I'll ring the GP. It's such a pain because I have to drop my DS off at 8am when the GP opens so it means I can't call bang on 8.

I try and talk through it with my DP but honestly I often feel more alone when I do so. He means well but often just concludes 'well, you'll get through it'