14 year old freedom?

[NachoCheesed]

How much freedom do you give your 14 year old DS's?

Watching with interest, apparently I’m the worst mum in the world

My DS has none at all but that’s due to his own crippling anxiety. My 12 year old DD can go off out with her friends but I do track her phone on life 360, have her best friends number in case her phone goes flat and keep her to the town we live in (at the moment anyway!). She has to be home before dark or on light summer evenings by 8:30/9.

Can make plans in the village , just need to let me know (after school/weekends) and check its not clashing with anything. Home for dinner.

Anything further afield they need to ask first (usually as they will want a lift!)

Shes just 13, so a bit younger. And the village is quite quiet so no trouble to get into!

At 14 I let my DS roam around in the daytime without me really knowing where he was exactly, but usually knew he’d gone out with x friend(s). In the evening I’d need to know where he was and he’d need to be home by a certain time which depended on if it was a school night or not. We’d let him walk back late (say 10/10:30ish at that age) if he was with a friend.

I was (and still am) an over protective mother! My DS had very little freedom at that age really. I took him places and picked him up. He had friends over and went to theirs and he would go into town with them.

He went on school holidays and went with friends and their parents holidays (that I knew really well). I let him stay home during holidays (when I went into the office( and he would walk from school to my office after school.

At that age I didn't get much push back really because it was the same for his friends. He pushed back more when he was younger.

I was very cautious.

home by 17.00 on school nights to spend time with friends, allowed out after that if we have been contacted by phone and told what they are doing/who they are with and if we need to keep dinner warm etc.

Weekends allowed to make plans in the city centre with friends/visit friends houses/be out with friends. We live in a very small, rural city so no fears they are going far or up to no good.

We don't do pocket money as such but if they are off out with friends we give them £5 or £10 depending on how skint we are as a family so they can get a drink or snack.

This is what I do - I do track him on Snapchat. He sometimes gets a day ticket on the bus and with his friend see how many buses they can get on and what is the furthest distance!
We live in quite a big town so he's allowed quite a lot of freedom - just worrying I'm giving him too much.

14 year old daughter who is v.sensible. Knows not to be late and let's us know where she is and when she will be back. She can get a lift from us if necessary. Her life is that much easier by keeping one of us in the loop.

My dc had a lot. But they were fairly sensible and knew where to draw the line and that I would be there to get them when needed.

I think as long as he keeps in touch then it sounds like it’s working for you both. I would have done that kind of thing with the buses! At a similar age a friend and I thought it would be fun to spend a rainy afternoon going round and round the circle line tube in London (sounds less fun than lots of different buses!!).

DD is 13, we live in a small town so there's not really anywhere to go but she can go wherever she wants in town, just has to let me know she's going out. Mostly just hangs around in the town centre or goes to a friend's house if she does go out (but rarely goes out, prefers to stay home). She exercised her freedom a lot more when she was younger.
She did go to the nearest city earlier this summer, taking the train there and travelling around on public transport to go to the amusement park but she was with her older friend/aunty (her aunty is 3 years older so they're friends) who lives half the time in that city with her mum so knows her way around.

At home - we would be out until aroud 10-11pm if DH and I would like dinner on our own or see friends. But we do have neighbours who she knows well and would be happy to go to in an emergency.

She would take the bus to see friends at the other side of town, meet in town, go to the cinema etc. We would pick up ater 9pm or 7pm in winter.
She went with friends to London but in the first case we tracked her on the phone.

She would go on her own or with a friend to activities like Scouts/Explorers but we would pick her up as it ends late.