Possible inattentive adhd? - experiences and resources please

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Hi,

Apologies for a long post. I have gone down a bit of an inattentive adhd rabbit hole in the past month - I don't know whether I have it and I'm thinking of booking an appointment with my GP. So many things are clicking for me as I'm reading about it but there are some aspects that don't apply to me and I'd really appreciate to hear from others.

• I don't think I had symptoms pre 12 (which a lot of of places online says is key). When I was young I was high achieving and went to 'gifted' child holiday schools. Learning was easy and fun. Ditto the first couple of years of high school.
• It was probably age 15 where classes started requiring more focus and healthy study habits that it started to fall apart. In my final year of school I needed to drop a couple of exam subjects in order to cram for the ones that I had a chance of passing - my teachers didn't believe that I wasn't going to pass because I performed well in class and my parents had to confirm to them how bad my study habits were at home.
• I was very emotionally disregulated as a teenager but pretty much only at home - big mood swings and screaming matches with my mum. She says she thinks I was depressed.
• Periods of depression.
• Anxiety in adulthood.
• Chronic procrastination - every single uni assignment a last minute all nighter and struggled with it at work although I have got a bit better at managing it as I've got older. In the past I have quit a couple of jobs where things have started to get too much and so I wanted to move on rather than fail. I've also missed out on holidays and experiences I'd aimed to do because I've been unable to properly plan and make them happen. But I'm also capable of work at a really fast rate when the pressure is on and a deadline is due - I pull out all the stops to make it happen.
• I have tried to pursue adult study/professional qualifications a couple of times but have always dropped out as I can't sustain my study alongside work - I will spend hours with my study books without really focussing on them or getting distrcated by my phone.
• Task paralysis and lack of motivation - struggle to just get up and do stuff - feels like it really requires effort.
• I over research things and find it difficult to make a final decision.
• Money management issues - this has always been a struggle - I got into quite a bit of credit card debt over the years and worked hard to pay it off but I do still spend impulsively.
• Binge eating - not quite as bad now - it was worst when I was a teenager, I used to literally eat spoonfuls of sugar.
• Don't really have any routines or habits
• I am always trying to implement new systems to organise and get on top of the overwhelm I feel but they fall apart quite quickly.
• Switching off when people are talking to me
• Sex drive - its high in the early stages of a relationship but drops off a cliff later on and I struggle to get out of my own head during sex to enjoy it.
• Mess - from my teenage year through uni I was chronically messy. My bedroom was always a disgusting tip. I am better at it now but my partner complains about my messiness and I go from having a really big cleanout and re-organising to things being messy again very quickly
• I'm addicted to my phone.

• I don't have massive issues in social situations but I do often feel like I need alcohol to properly relax when socialising.
• I'm not hyperactive - if anything I like sitting too much.
• I'm not HUGELY forgetful but misplacing things and having to order new banks cards I probably do more than most people. I feel like my long-term memory for events in my life is really poor - other people seem to be able to remember clearly events and experiences and a lot of mine feel more like fuzzy impressions than clear memories.

I've tried to talk about this to a couple of people who know me but they've just said everyone procrastinates (true) and that I'm just always too hard on myself (also true). I don't think people see me in the way I've described myself above - I think they see someone who is doing well at life. I think mostly I have been doing ok but it all feels a lot harder than it should.

Over the past couple of years though the feeling of overwhelm and not coping has intensified. I think this is because (a) I have a 2 yr old and juggling parenthood with life and work is putting huge extra demands on me and (b) I'm in my 40s so might have some hormonal stuff going on. I feel like just getting through the week at work with nursery drops offs and parenting leaves me exhausted at the weekends and then the concept of going out and doing things at the weekend feels like a daunting organising task (and my to do list is constantly weighing on my mind).

I'd be really grateful to hear whether this sounds like how others have experienced inattentive adhd? Also what helped you get on top of it?

Thank you :)

You sound like how I would like to be. Minimalism would be so helpful. And I do make lists but don't always follow through on them. Agree that protein and HIIT help a lot.

@Meadowwild @ffsgloria Yes I really struggle with clutter and feel I spend so much time battling it - just moving things from one part of the house to another. Being able to cut the clutter down significantly would really help.

Also agree re exercise - I'm trying to get back into my running. Going for a walk doesn't cut it for me as its too much time alone with my own thoughts, but when I'm running I'm working too hard and it silences my mind a bit.

I feel like I am posting everywhere at the moment about this but really you sound like me. I was diagnosed last month with hyperthroidism.
I had been told for years I was just anxious
Suspected menopause because emotions were all over the place - really irrationally angry
Binge eating little weight gain and sudden hunger that would almost make me feel faint
Fainting and intolerance to heat
I thought I had dementia because I couldn't focus and my memory was shot

All of this is related to thyroid issues! It can even cause "ADHD symptoms". I think I have been borderline for years and it's only after prolongued stress it caused a pulmonary embolism (they told me was anxiety and all in my head) and then said I was healthy and only gave me 3 months of thinners - if they hadn't done that I don't know if I would have pushed for bloods to get to the bottom of why an apparently healthy person nearly died of an embolism.

I'd rule it out with a blood test and check if you are borderline hyper or hypo for yourself when the results come in so you can keep an eye on it.

I don't have advice but following as I literally could've written this word for word , including having a 2 year old and I think since having my child (who I couldn't adore any more) things have heightened massively.

Interesting. I have an underactive thyroid but have always been a bit off. But long spells of ok. Had thought hormonal.

mini nervous breakdowns as an early to mid teen.

Now on 150mg of levothyroxine but dealing with menopause at 52.

Doctors have sort of been ok with both but not brilliant.

I do have a lot of symptoms others on this thread have but eg at 20 was opposite, tidier, spent less to the point of almost nothing.

My symptoms were:

• shy child, not socialising with others a lot but had 2 best friends. Also teased for glasses wearing a lot.

• fine up to 11/12, then got palpitations and at 12 uncontrolled crying on starting a new school - but we had zero introduction to this.

• mini nervous breakdowns about 3-4 up to age 16, doctors over medicated me on Valium, sleeping pills and largactyl and at 16 put on BCP which evened out hormones. Think had severe PMD. Had counselling to cope with this.

• 20s/30s ok better. Seemed to cope.

• late 30s underactive thyroid diagnosis which I understand can mimic PMT.

I think I might get a diagnosis of ADHD or get my thyroid sorted as I’m so sick of the anxiety and insomnia creeping in. Had 2 nasty spates last year and this year. Combine with noise and light sensitivity at night and I feel like I’m going insane. Never been brilliant with relationships with men. What I wouldn’t give for a decent night sleep now!

I think mine were majorly triggered after birth of my DC but I don't have any bloods from that time on my record. I held down busy jobs before having them and had clear thinking, good results in exams etc.

Now I feel like I'm the conversational equivalent of a potato at times. I just can't remember the fun interesting stuff half the time, start conversations and can't remember the point I was going to make. At the moment I can't actually leave the house for more than a few hours, but the meds seem to be making me feel mildly better when they are at their peak so I have hope it will stabilise if not reverse any damage.

Also worth checking B12, it seems to be often missed but can make you forgetful and dizzy and generally fatigued.

That is such a good point. I do like walking but not so much on my own and I think you just articulated why. I don't come back rested, I come back full of ADHD rumination. But more challenging exercise where you have to focus on what you are doing is way more relaxing.

That's precisely how I feel, @NoseNothing . I've always said I worry that it seems like I'm jumping on a bandwagon, whilst simultaneously feeling/knowing that this thing essentially blights my entire life and always has done.

ha! Well maybe it’s not ADHD as I find long walks of over a hour or more (say to nearest town) to be extremely therapeutic and really calms my thoughts, a bit like yoga. I’m lucky in that I have time and no commitments really apart from just that. Though as per yesterday was knackered after a few nights of disrupted sleep and heat.

I find humidity fogs my head and then hayfever.

@Buddhistretreatwithcrisps and @NoseNothing . See my conundrum if you will is that as a child I was basically normal or maybe I masked. I did stutter and stammer for 2 years in primary school and teenage years of course were a millstone round the neck. Actually, i used to blush badly whenever I passed boys in our local park, yet on a good day I’d happily flirt and even get off with them. I was exceptionally clever, bar maths and science at secondary school. Went to a private school where we had end of term exams and as I had no idea what they were passed them all. Not so great when I did know what exams were but at 30 narrowly failed a French A level course so I could “do it”.

I relate to so much of this. My DD was recently diagnosed with combined type ADHD and I have an elderly uncle recently diagnosed with ASC and ADHD. Looking back, my late Mum probably had ADHD/ADD.

I will get assessed at some point but haven’t got round to it yet 😂

Please don't be put off by worries abut bandwagoning. If you have concerns explore them and don't suffer in silence. Only you know if you are suffering to cope. Maybe it isn't ADHD but even if not you might get closer to discovering techniques to support and making change.

Hi just updating in case anyone else is in a similar position and thinking about following up with their GP. I visited the GP mental health professional this week and had a 40 minute consultation. She seemed quite confident that I presented as ADHD and confirmed she would make a referral to a specialist.

I now need to decide whether I pay for private (have found out its not covered by my work insurance scheme) or go on the long NHS waiting list. I'm leaning strongly towards private as its affecting my relationship quite significantly at the moment. Its not the only issue, but I'm no longer coping with life demands since being a parent, I feel in constant chaos and unable to switch off, leading to worsening anxiety, all of which is putting a lot of pressure on our partnership.

This sounds exactly like me and I'm sure I have inattentive adhd which I only considered during the last year due to my son going through an adhd assessment.

I want to go to the doctor to request an assessment through right to choose but I keep putting it off (standard!)

I just saw your update!

Look up 'right to choose' and request it through your GP - last I looked, some waiting lists were only a few months long

@10pfreddos thank you I've just been googling that!

I actually forgot to turn up for my first appointment with mental health professional and had to reschedule 😬

I know this is a zombie thread I’m resurrecting but this happened to me and I’m wondering if I’m mildly add.

i couldn’t cope at university studying an arts related subject and remember distinctly deciding on teaching “for the structure.”

im hypothyroid and honestly think that when that’s v well balanced im mostly ok but slight normal swings affect me more than other people cognitively.

I’m also v hypermobile

it’s only properly hit me when a colleague was discussing a particular symptom of adhd in children that is often overlooked

In classic fashion I hadn’t read the whole thread and now see there’s a discussion on hypothyroidism.

i was diagnosed at 20 after probably dealing with it for a couple of years; and have always blamed my issues on that, but then I meet people on thyroxine who simply don’t have the issues I have.

im also v v creative and curious. Can hyperfocus if im interested