DD’s dad wants to be back in her life

[Cadela]

Dd is 7. Backstory is I stopped all contact as 2.5 years ago Dd came home and disclosed her step mum has been hurting her. Dd’s dad has never done anything (apart from shack up with a horrible woman)

I went through all proper channels - school, social services, police etc and whilst it didn’t go to court everything has been ok.

DD has suffered though, she misses her dad so much and I’ve explained why she can’t see him in an age appropriate way.

He’s been messaging me recently wanting to start contact up again, but he still point blank refuses to accept his partner hurt my daughter.

I do have a meeting with a family law solicitor next week, but if anyone could offer any advice at all I’d so appreciate it. Being a lone parent with no one to chat this through with is so hard.

do you want your DD to have a relationship with her dad? could you consider family courts and maybe setting up supervised contact visits in the first instance, perhaps just with him and DD.

i can understand why you dont want any contact with ex's partner.

Can you not arrange a contact centre for supervised visitation?

It didn't get to court but how far did it get?

What action did the police take?

I’m not at the point of allow contact just him and Dd, I’m too scared he’d not return her!

I want her to have a relationship with him that benefits her. I had a fucking awful dad and I don’t want her to end up like me.

I will 100% do this is my solicitor suggests it. I need Dd to be safe.

I just have no idea what I’m doing!

I have no idea. DD’s school handled everything - they made all the reports and Dd was interviewed in school. SS never contacted me and I never heard anything from the police. So I assume they all thought Dd being with me was fine.

I haven’t spoken to her dad in almost 3 years and we’ve not gone into details whilst talking so I have no idea what happened. Just that Dd was ok with me.

@Cadela ... so you have no idea what happened? And the police and the school won't tell you?

That's not right...

You should have been involved in the process?

I have no idea. DD’s school handled everything - they made all the reports and Dd was interviewed in school. SS never contacted me and I never heard anything from the police. So I assume they all thought Dd being with me was fine

This sounds very odd indeed

Anyway I wouldn't even give him supervised access he is still with his child's abuser and refuses to acknowledge she hurt his child two of the biggest red flags around

How can you not know what happened? This is extremely unusual. You should ask now.

We had similar in our family, the parent was failing to protect the children from a potenitally abusive partner, so the children were removed by SS into the sole custody of the none resident parent. The parent now has weekly supervised visits at a contact centre. Slightly different as court was involved, but if I were you I would approach SS and ask if this could be arranged.

im not being funny.. but if my child told me someone had hurt them, be it intentially or accidently, i would want to know! there would be no ifs and buts!

its highly irregular that SS did not make any contact with you, same with the Police.

i assume when she came home and told you, you went straight to the police?

So the investigation came to nothing?