Struggling with 2

[Charcharr]

Does it get easier? I have a 2.5 and 6 month old so the age gap is exactly 2 years

im finding it sooo hard at the minute. Tbh since I had my 2nd I have

i had a few weeks where things seemed to be in a flow and now my youngest is teething, in the middle still of a sleep regression just won’t let me pop her down and is so fussy so it’s gone back to being so hard and I’m finding balancing things so tough
my eldest is in the swing of tantrums meltdowns and just generally emotionally developing

I’m ebf so the youngest hasn’t stayed out yet and I have constant guilt with my eldest that she’s always with us

i just feel so tired (broken nights and 5/530 am start

Does It get a bit easier in a sense as they get older

It gets easier. But you need to enlist help. Get a babysitter. Don't stress over lack of sleep. Find a nursery for the 2yr old. Go out, it wears them out too so they will sleep better. Express if you need to. Get a bit of time off.

It does get easier, but not for a while yet.

What's your partner/husband doing? He should at least be doing the 5am start with the two year old, bedtimes and some meal prep and cleaning. Taking the kids out and letting you have a lie in at the weekends.

I found getting out of the house everyday to be a great help. And lowering my standards about housework. 'Everyone fed, nobody dead' was a good motto.

Thanks. We do get out all the time luckily DS my toddler is a fantastic walker so even going on long walks nearby (we live near some nature too) is good and we go to the park a lot

DS is a bit clingy so DH has tried to take him
down but he throws a meltdown if it’s not me getting up and going downstairs with him :(

he does go to nursery, I find those days I drop him off , do housework and catch up on jobs then it’s pick up and I do baby sensory with my youngest. She doesn’t nap well so even if I didn’t do those things I wouldn’t be able to catch up on sleep :(

i feel so
guilty saying I’m struggling

It probably doesn't feel like it, but you're doing a great job! Please don't feel guilty, you are doing your best and, yes, this bit is really tough. Just making it through the day is hard.

I have almost 3yrs between my 2 and I remember that stage well. My youngest wouldn't be put down at all and I co-slept too so it felt like I constantly had a child attached to me 24/7. I also EBF. Luckily DS only wanted feed every 3 hrs but was a puker so frequent we both needed changed after a feed.

I coped by going out every day and, in the house, putting the youngest in a sling for naps if we weren't going out. That way I could have some 1 to 1 time with the eldest while the youngest slept on me.

Definitely see if you and DH can share chores. Just because you're on mat leave doesn't mean you should do everything. And lower your standards right down. That definitely helped me.

I like pp 'everyone fed, nobody dead', that's a good mantra. I found it a good day when nobody cried! A low point was getting a bit of shopping and both kids were in the trolley crying when I got to the till.

It will get better. My kids are late primary/early secondary age and have been great fun, and easy to parent, for years.

Don’t feel guilty, you’re in the trenches right now. A two year gap is pretty intense. Mine are nearly four years apart and even that nearly broke me. Both of my children wanted 100% of me 100% of the time and I don’t know how I got through it. But I did, somehow, and so will you.

Just work on survival right now. Don’t expect to find much of it enjoyable but rejoice when you do!

Hang in there, it will all be ok!

I've got 18months between mine and the youngest turned two this week. It is SO much easier now as I actually get some sort of sleep. It really is soul destroying when you think you finally have a routine and a week later they both constantly wake at all hours.

For me the turning point was when my eldest turned 3 and was a lot more independent and started a predictable sleep routine.

Having 2 close together is hard going but once they can start playing and talking together it makes it so worth it so I hope this gives you hope that the best is yet to come. Sending hugs xx

It’s so tough isn’t it? I feel constantly outnumbered and I feel awful when I say the days I’m on my own with both it feels like getting through the day!

we have amazing moments and as my youngest is getting older and sitting/more vocal my eldest is interested and it’s so cute to see their small snippet moments he hugs her and kisses her and wants to show her toys so I know my heart will burst when they’re old enough to play together !

but yes just feels so tough to manage when my little baby is teething in pain and fussy and my eldest can’t fully communicate what he wants so has a meltdown and needs me I feel sos stretched in every direction

and I think the lack of sleep doesn’t help